Bomb Belly Al Bhed

Date Written: 
04/07/2005

Insert typical declaimer here. Yea…so I’m your author or storyteller even for this evening, or day, or whatever time it is when you read these things. The following situation is fiction. The characters are copy right of square enix. So don’t sue me. Not that they'd ever find this stuff. Anyway…. On to the story!

The sun beat down on Mi’ihen highroad, 7 figures trudged along the well worn path. It was summoner Yuna and her group of assorted misfits. Tidus was whining about the heat and the others were glaring at him angrily.

“Its soooo hot! In Zanarkand we had air conditioning. Why couldn’t we take a chocobo. Are we there yet? I’m tired of walking. Its sooo hot!” He rambled. He was cut short when a wooden pole cracked him on the head.

“Silence. Better.” Kimarhi said bluntly and in a way Tidus didn’t want to exactly argue.

“Maybe we could take a teensy break?” Rikku suggested.

“That sounds pretty good about now. We’ve been making good time ya?” Wakka agreed and looked at Yuna who nodded in agreement. They heard several splashes and turned to see a refreshed looking Lulu. She had been picking off mosquitoes above her with water. The tiny insects were crushed quickly and the remaining water simply fell on top of her giving her relief to the heat.

“Say… that looks like a good idea.” Auron said. He tried to pull his bottle off his belt to pour its contents over his head, however his arm was in the sling and he fumbled with it but got it tied in a knot behind his back. Everyone had a good laugh at this and Auron’s face turned red as he got frustrated and used his other arm and teeth to open the bottle.

“Auron your other arm is perfectly functional, why is it you have it in that sling?” Rikku asked him. He stood there dripping and everyone considered this but no logical answer could be found. Just then a small fireball burst from the bush. It was about the size of a blitzball and hovered in the air growling menacingly and bearing its teeth..

“Oh no! It’s a bomb!” Yuna shrieked. Before much could be done the bomb started to spiral round and round Rikku’s head. Faster and faster it spun and as it accelerated it stretched outwards and became more elongated. Suddenly it dove right for her face causing her to gasp. The beast dove down her throat and settled comfortably within Rikku’s stomach. It regained its original shape which incidentally distorted Rikku’s. There was a small buldge in her midsection about the size of a soup bowl.

“What the hell?!?! AAAGH!!” Rikku screamed.

“Rikku ate the bomb?” Tidus asked confused. The monster seemed to react to his voice and with some noticeable agitation in Rikku’s stomach cast fire on Tidus. “OW! It burns! The pain!” Of course more noise resulted in more fire.

“The beast cannot see us anymore so it relies on sound.” Lulu said softly. Tidus slowly getting the point side stepped to the right. Rikku’s belly roiled and jiggled again and a blast of flame hit where Tidus was standing just seconds ago.

“HA!” He yelled. FOOM! “My precious hair is getting ruined…” He whimpered.

“Get this thing OUT OF ME!” Rikku yelled getting hysteric. “Its so hot.” She rightfully complained. She was visibly sweating.

“Well… We can’t hit it with most of our weapons or we’ll kill Rikku.” Yuna pointed out. “And she’s yelling a lot but its using her as a shield.”

“What about me?” Wakka said hefting up his ball. “This may bruise but the bomb should take the most of the blow ya?” And with that he took aim, and pulled his arm back. Lulu hissed some sort of warning but he didn’t pay attention. WHAM! The blitzball struck Rikku square in the gut.

“OWWW! What the hell was THAT for you stupid idiot??” She said angrily. Again her stomach bounced around this time Wakka was the recipient of the flame.

“I’m trying to kill the monster ya?”

“Dodge ball weapon for school children.” Khimari smirked. However everyone was noticing that although the bomb wasn’t casting any spells it was still flailing around in Rikku’s stomach. Her stomach was rather rapidly expanding straining the side belts on her top. The stitching on bottommost leather strap gave first, and the second one barley held on for dear life as her belly continued to grow. It finally settled around the size of a large beach ball. Rikku’s eyes grew wide with horror as she stared in disbelief at the huge sphere of a belly she now had.

“Why ME!?” she complained.

“Wakka! Don’t you remember about bombs? Whenever you hit them they react by getting larger. After 3 times they will explode!” Lulu said glaring at Wakka.

“She’s gonna explode???” Tidus exclaimed loudly, bringing a shriek from Rikku. The monster bobbed angrily around within Rikku and she was having trouble trying to stand without getting knocked over. Promptly Tidus got hit with fira instead of a mere fire. Having been quite thoroughly burnt Yuna rushed over to his aid to heal him.

“Rikku, I’m going to try to defeat the monster with wateraga ok?” Lulu whispered. Rikku nodded rapidly, desperately wanting this thing out of her. Lulu raised her arms and cast the spell. A lot of splashing and hissing could be heard within Rikku but unfortunately no pyreflies came forth. Lulu instantly dropped to the ground to avoid a gout of flame aimed where her head had just been. The bomb shuddered and expanded again growing larger and larger. Gurgling noises came from Rikku’s abdomen as it bloated outwards. With a pwing noise the button flew off the top of her shorts and the zipper was forced downward by her distending belly. The second belt strap bit the bucket and also tore off. Rikku’s stomach now started just below the center of the bottom of her ribcage and ended slightly below the panty line. It stuck out a good 2 feet in front of her and was nearly 3 feet at its widest point.

“AYIAAA!” Rikku screamed, getting very freaked out now. “KILL IT! KILL IT NOW!!” The heat the bomb was generating was sapping her strength and her hair was plastered against her head soaked. She sank down to her knees and her belly just brushed against the ground.

“This isn’t good.” Auron said stating the obvious.

“Well duh!” Tidus said being freshly revived. In horror realizing what he did he quickly he put both hands over his mouth. Fortunately for him this time no fire came.

“Please…. Try again Lulu…” Rikku whimpered. Lulu nodded, the pressure was on her to finish this they didn’t have much time. Summoning up her strength she used double cast wateraga on the bomb. Much splashing and hissing could be heard from within Rikku’s midsection and after what seemed like the longest time… nothing. Then there was a huffing noise that sounded almost like laughter. Huh huh huh…  Rikku simply couldn’t take it anymore and fainted. The bomb started bobbing and weaving and jostling all around within her making her body fly around while attached to the floating stomach. Sparks began to gather amongst the midst of the group and there was a screeching noise followed by a large flaring explosion. Everyone was knocked to the ground and burned fairly badly, and in the meantime the bomb grew for its final time. It ballooned even faster than before causing Rikku’s belly to surge outwards in all directions. It kept swelling and swelling until it looked as if somehow Rikku had managed to eat a behemoth whole. The bomb could be heard hissing and growling through Rikku’s stomach. Yuna got into a kneeling position and started casting cure on everyone.  Then she cast scan on the bomb and gasped.

“Lulu…. The monster still has slightly over 50% hp! I don’t think we can beat it in time…” She said defeatedly

Khimari used his spear for support and climbed up into a standing position. Then putting his hand to his face he gave a low pitch peculiar whistle. A peculiar looking house cat walked out of the waist high grass from the side of the road and made its way towards Khimari. It was mostly black with a few patches of white and was wearing a fedora (think Indiana jones’s hat) with goggles on the brim. It and Khimari talked for a brief time in the language of cats and then it nodded and walked over to the still prone Lulu. It head butted her in the nose a few times and then dashed off into the bushes. Lulu started to sneeze violently a few times. Rolling quickly to the side she managed to avoid the flame but her allergies put her into overdrive. Putting everything she had into it to save her friend she launched the largest wateraga fury she ever produced. Tons of water could be heard sloshing and crashing around in Rikku’s hugely bloated belly. Then her belly started to expand again and everyone braced for cover…

Rikku awoke relieved to find herself alive and well however she noticed she was a good 25 feet off the ground resting on her colossal gut. When it was all said and done she took a tear drop shape from her ribcage down as she lay on her stomach like a waterbed. Rikku looked down and screamed loudly but noticed something was amiss. She hadn’t blown up and her stomach felt rather cool instead of the blistering heat of the bomb. Hiccupping she tasted fresh water.

“What happened???” She asked confused.

“Well remember earlier when the mosquitoes were killed the extra water fell on me?” Lulu explained. “The bomb was killed but so much extra water was produced it had no where to fall so to speak so it just gathered inside you.” Rikku just kept hiccoughing.

“Well...*hic* this *hic* sucks. But its better than *hic* dying and in this weather *hic* its actually kind of refreshing.” Rikku said giggling.

And so ends our story of the Bomb Belly Al Bhed. Who eventually burped up all the water inside her in a large torrent and nearly drowned Wakka for hitting her with his over glorified dodge ball…

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