Inflate Club, Part 1

Date Written: 
10/28/2004

Felix didn’t know what to expect when Imogen led him deep into the decrepit building, although he wouldn’t have guessed that it involved inflating women.

Most of the passageways were sparsely lit, so Felix stayed close behind her, checking out the backside of her jeans as they got closer to the screaming crowd. They seemed to be screaming “Blow! Blow! Blow!” with various other voices shouting encouragement or the more enigmatic “Pop her! Pop her!”

They made their way through the bleachers, and Felix stopped and stared at the sight in front of him: Two giant balloons were spotlighted in the middle of the arena, each surging in growth. Yet the balloons were quite obviously human--swollen stubs where their hands and feet used to be, and pretty female faces on top, each of which blew into a plastic tube, which in turn was connected to a nondescript machine between them, from which there were also two black wires running to the midsection of each human balloon.

Imogen stopped and grinned at Felix, who just gaped as the crowd chanted and cheered. One of the balloon women was slightly larger, and there was a clear look of panic on her face as she surged even bigger. The other, slightly smaller balloon woman blew steadily into the plastic tube from her mouth, the corners of which were upturned in a distinctive, victorious smile.

The crowd stomped their feet, clapped their hands, and continued shouting: “Pop her! Pop her! Pop her!”

The larger balloon woman surged again, let out what sounded like a moan, and with a loud BANG, she burst into shreds.

The crowd rose to their feet, clapping, cheering, and shouting, while cash was exchanging hands.

Imogen leaned close to Felix so he could hear. She pointed to the remaining balloon woman, who was visibly pleased with herself. “That’s her,” said Imogen. “That’s Dreda, our current champion. See? They blow into those tubes, and the aero-accelerator multiplies their breaths exponentially. There are no rules: It’s pop or be popped.”

“That--that woman just exploded,” Felix observed dimly.

Imogen still smirked. “Wanna back out?”

Felix looked back at the smirking, lovely blonde. He always thought she was pretty when she smiled, but somehow it now took on a vicious tint. Still, her flawless face and tightly packaged body kept him from saying anything but “No.”

“Then I’ll introduce you.”

It took almost twenty minutes of waiting, but Felix hardly noticed it. As they waited in a secluded office, Felix looked out the door, left slightly ajar, as a series of lovely women walked by, chatting happily about the people that they had seen blown to bits. One woman was speaking to a friend, “--and then she just went, psssh!!” She threw out her hands, mimicking an explosion, and the two women giggled. Felix listened to them laugh as they continued down the hallway, and he began to imagine what they would look like as balloons.

As if reading his mind, Imogen said, “Oh, you don’t want to mess with Shanelle,” she told him. “She’s also one of the top inflators. She’s popped quite a few competitors in her day; she’d pop you without even getting winded. She’s supposed to take on Dreda next week--” She cut herself off. “Speak of the devil.”

Felix got his first close look at Dreda as she entered the office, and he was unimpressed. Dreda had completely uninflated, but her thighs were still chunkier than he liked them. The bottom of her buttcheeks were exposed by the tight white shorts she wore, but it wasn’t a flattering fashion statement. Worst of all, Felix noted, was the face: Dreda was the homeliest woman he’d seen tonight. Her ears were elephantine; her eyes, proboscis, and mouth were similarly all too big for her head, which had a long, pointed chin that could, in Felix’s estimation, be used to break icebergs. Her straggly black hair was uncombed and stuck out in ridiculous ways.

“Dreda,” said Imogen, “this is Felix. He wants to join Inflate Club.”

Dreda smiled at him, and he inwardly cringed at the crooked teeth.

Imogen continued, “Felix, this is our founder and current cham-peen, Dreda.”

“You think you can handle being popped by a woman?” said Dreda. “Cuz I’ll tell you right now, that’s definitely going to happen.”

“You think so?” Felix said noncomittedly.

“I know so,” said Dreda. “We’ll start you off in the minor leagues, of course. If you survive those--and I do mean ‘IF’--you’ll have to deal with Shanelle. Or Renee. Or Kelsie. They’re our heavy-hitters. One of them will pop you, and if not...” She paused for effect. “I most certainly will.”

Felix smiled back with a self-assurance he didn’t truly have. “I’ll take my chances.”

“Your funeral,” Dreda shrugged. “Rule one: Don’t talk about Inflate Club. Rule two: There are no other rules. It’s pop--”

“--Or be popped, yes, I know.”

“Well, then, welcome to the Club. We meet again next Saturday night. You’ll be going against another freshman, Maura. Get your affairs in order in case you don’t make it. Nice meeting you, Felix.” Dreda turned to leave. Felix didn’t want to look, but he still had to check out the back of her tight white shorts. Dreda was unattractive woman, but Felix was still a male.

Imogen smiled again. “I’ll be rooting for you, Felix.”

“Nice to have a fan.”

“No,” she said, leaning closer to him, the viscious grin still in place. “I just want to pop you myself.”

 

Felix sat in the stands, trying to determine if there was a strategy, but there appeared to be none. Other than having a good set of lungs and dumb luck, there seemed to be no other battle tactic.

He watched several rounds that night, watched two competing balloons blow each other up, trying to pop the other before they themselves exploded. Probably the highlight so far was when one woman, having just popped her opponent, survived only a second longer before she spontaneously burst herself. The holder of that bet probably walked off with a fortune.

And then the crowd cheered as the woman Felix recognized as Shanelle walked into the center of the arena. Shanelle, Felix decided, was very much his type: A round-faced, round-figured brunette who snugly fit into the black leather pants and vest she wore. Felix found himself strangely aroused at the the thought of her being a balloon, but he was definitely rooting for her not to pop. If he had to be popped by someone here--and he didn’t plan to be popped at all--there would be worse ways to go than by Shanelle’s warm, moist breaths. Or by Imogen’s. He glanced at his blonde friend, who sat next to him in the stands. She was so, so pretty. And one day, if he made it up the ranks, he would have to pop her. Or she would pop him. And he cared preciously little which.

The crowd cheered again, some giving a standing ovation, as Dreda walked into the ring. She waved to the fans, seeping up the adolation with an oversized, toothy smile that made Felix roll his eyes. Dreda, he told himself again, was one freakish-looking chick. He hoped that she’d pop quick.

The two women spoke briefly to each other--what they said was completely inaudible to all but them--but Dreda said something directly into Shanelle’s ear, laughed, and stuck her tongue out. Shanelle just shook her head. Then the two women stood on either side of the aero-accelerator machine, each plugging a black wire into their navels and inserting a plastic tube into their mouths. The referee, a buxom, long-haired blonde in tight red shorts, entered the ring, stood by the machine, and lifted her arm.

“Go!” she said, bringing her arm down, and the competition began.

The two women began blowing into the tubes, the air going into the machine, and exiting through the black wires, causing their bellies to immediately expand as if they were pregnant. Shanelle was wide-eyed and determined, but Dreda looked relaxed, her mouth turned upward in a smile even as she blew. She seemed unconcered that her belly was now billowing out in front of her.

The bulges in the women’s midsections got bigger and rounder. They still looked pregnant, but to an extreme degree, as their bellies looked comically large, almost as if they were carrying full-fledged adults inside them. But that soon changed as the air filled out other parts of them as well, plumping up their arms and legs, pushing out their sides, turning them slowly, inexorably, into human balloons.

Shanelle’s round face got even rounder as she filled up, blowing out air even as more air came inside her, pumping her up like a tire. Dreda was similarly stuffed with air, but still smiling as her puffy arms stuck out at her sides, her legs spreading apart as she filled out into a rounder, more ball-shaped figure.

All the while, fans of each woman were cheering for their preferred outcome.

“Blow, Shanelle! Blow!”

“Pop her, Dreda! Make her burst!”

“Bigger! Blow her up bigger!”

The women responded by blowing and blowing and blowing. And each one swelled up like the balloons that they were--two round, human blimps that pulsated larger and larger, each time reaching a greater and greater height, a wider and wider circumference.

It didn’t take long for a victor to become clear. In only a minute, Shanelle was nearly twice the size of Dreda, who smiled and puffed happily as Shanelle’s eyes clearly showed panic. Her breaths became hurried and irregular, her near hysteria causing her to lose her breath more often. She had to stop repeatedly to catch her breath and inhale, all the while giving ground to Dreda, who just steadily puffed and puffed and puffed, causing her opponent to continuously surpass her in her rate of expansion.

Felix felt hollow inside as he sensed the inevitability of the situation. That freakish-looking chick was going to pop the hottie! It was so unfair! And it didn’t help that the crowd was now clearly on Dreda’s side now, applauding Shanelle’s imminent demise.

Shanelle shifted about in fear as she inflated larger. The crowd cheered. Dreda kept smiling and blowing, inflating at only half Shanelle’s rate. The end was near.

“Pop!” shouted several spectators, who were soon joined by several more. “Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!”

Imogen looked over at Felix, who noticed that her hand was slowly moving across her crotch. He gently took her by the arm, and they walked swiftly out of the stands, climbing below the bleachers, out of sight from most of the spectators. Unconcered if they were seen, and without a word between them, Felix dropped his pants, Imogen pulled down her jeans, and they had at it. They didn’t even look at each other, instead looking over their shoulders at the ring. Felix thrust quickly and Imogen moaned as they watched the ever-expanding Shanelle, her round face becoming even rounder as the air began to fill her head, having already filled her body to its limit. Felix thrust in rhythm with the crowd’s chanting, “Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!”

Shanelle’s body surged again, causing her to moan in despair, just a second before...

BOOM!!

Shanelle burst like an overinflated balloon, with only the shreds of her black leather uniform to indicate that she had been there at all.

The crowd rose to their feet, as Felix and Imogen shared a powerful orgasm, their screams of pleasure drowned out by the cheers of satisfied fans. Meanwhile, Dreda let the plastic tube drop from her mouth and she smiled at the crowd. She could do little else, as she was blown up into a ball, but she didn’t seem to mind. She just laughed as she caught the silhouettes of a man and woman fornicating underneath the bleachers.

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