Rog and the Fox

or, "Aesop? Aesop Who?"

Once upon a time there lived Roger Thumm, who was generally called "Rog" by acquaintances. But it wasn't out of affection that people used the clipped form of his name. "Rog" was short for "Roger" ... and Roger was, well, just plain short.

In fact, "short" doesn't do his condition justice. He was not a midget nor a dwarf. He was tiny, downright doll size at a mere six inches. And it did not make him pleasant to be around, as he was bitter and whiny.

Naturally, school was hell, as his size made him prime for bullies, who would kick Rog "accidentally" during gym class. "Sorry, squirt!" one bully would say.

"That's the sound he'd make if you stepped on him like a bug," said another. "Squirrrrt!"

The only thing Rog had to look forward to was cheerleader practice, where he'd sit and watch the young, nubile bodies dance and gyrate for him. Of particular significance to Rog was Pam Cavanaugh, whose nickname was "The Fox" due to the fact that she was... well, just plain foxy. The short-haired, lithe-figured brunette sat on the bench in front of the stadium bleachers, her lovely legs crossed under her cheerleader skirt as she gazed out on the field.

It took weeks of collecting courage, but Rog attempted to strike up a conversation with her. He walked up to the bench where she sat, unable to lift himself up onto the seat beside her. His consolation was that he was able to easily see up her skirt. "Hi, Pam!" he said.

Pam, of course, was considerably greater in size, stature, and social standing. So she ignored him.

This infuriated the long-frustrated Rog. "I said, Hi, Pam!"

She didn't so much as blink.

Rog's face turned red with frustration. He deserved more dignity than this! "You think you're so much better than me? Is that it?!"

Of course she was better than him, and of course that was it.

"You're not that great, you know," Rog lied. "I bet you'd talk to me if I were bigger than you!"

No response.

"Fine! You think you can ignore me when I'm small? Try ignoring me when I'm bigger than you!" And with that, Rog took a deep breath, and after several moments of strain, his belly puffed out, inflating suddenly like a balloon to a pump. He blew harder and harder, and his body swelled bigger, so big that his midsection became rounder like a ball, his arms forced upwards by the expansion. And still he puffed, filling out like a balloon version of himself, blowing up and out to twice his size. "Look, Pam! Is this big enough?"

Pam might have briefly rolled her eyes. If she had, it would have been the only acknowledgment of Rog's existence so far.

"How about this?" Rog puffed and puffed and puffed. His body swelled in all directions, becoming a spherical shape that now engulfed most of his arms and legs. Watching to see Pam's expression--and not seeing any change--he kept blowing and blowing and blowing. He blew up to several times his original size, which still only made him about the size of a beach ball. The effort was taking away Rog's breath, and he perhaps realized the truth: He'd never match Pam's size. She was too great. But all he had to do was get big enough so that she couldn't possibly ignore him.

And so he blew. And he blew. And blew and blew! Like the beach ball he resembled, he inflated bigger and bigger, so big that he could now actually see above her skirt. He puffed and inflated, inflated and grew, grew and expanded. She had to have noticed him, a big balloon growing at her feet. Yet still she paid no attention to him. "C'mon, Pam, look at me! I'm a huge balloon! I'm getting bigger for you!"

Pam sighed, her eyes looking straight ahead.

"That does it! I'll make you notice me or I'll try till I pop!" It perhaps wasn't the best laid of plans, but he tried anyway. Despite her towering size, and despite her obvious superiority, Rog continued to seek her attention by blowing himself up bigger. He puffed and he puffed and he puffed, straining to get ever bigger, his puffing sounds starting to be drowned out by some rubbery squeaks coming from his bloated, round body. But Pam kept ignoring him, so he kept puffing, kept getting bigger, kept inflating and inflating...

"Pam!" he called out breathlessly. "Please! Look at me! I'll pop if you don't notice me soon! Look! I'm a balloon for you! I'll BURST for you!"

As if Pam cared.

He took the longest, deepest breath he could. And he inflated once again, getting bigger, bigger, bigger ...!

"Look at me! Watch me pop! I'm going to POP for you! I'm going to--!!"

Ka-POW!!

The sudden loud noise made Pam jump. She turned to look at the shreds of Rog lying in the grass.

And, noticing him at last, ... she laughed.