Sharp Lesson, A

Inflation Types:
Date Written: 

Enri was with others in the inventing room just as a large machine rumbled and churned in front of the tour group. Ms. Wanda Wonka, the distinguished but quirky chocolatier, cheekily grinned as the guests gaped at the remarkable device.

"Watch this!" Wonka jeered, as the machine slowly pulled out and unfolded a long, mechanical arm - out of which emerged a tiny strip of gum. Enri immediately took it, and examined it closely.

"You mean that's it?!" Mara exclaimed.

"Do you even know what IT IS?" Ms. Wonka asked, excitedly.

"It's gum, obviously" Enri replied, his tone rife with arrogance. Enri was by far the most spoiled, proud and ego-centric member of the ticket-winners. He was a very attractive boy, and what's worse is he knew it. He'd brought his sister, Clara, along with him on the factor tour, an almost as awful specimen. While less sharp than Enri, she was just as proud and far more brutal.
Vince on the other hand was less extroverted and up-himself, and very chubby. He'd brought his friend, Chanelle, along with him. A sweet but dimwitted girl, who unfortunately paid no heed to the slights that Vince had received from Enri all day.

"Yeah," Ms. Wonka explained. "It's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe! Know why? KNOW WHY? 'Cause this gum is a full three course dinner all by itself! HaHa!" Ms Wonka laughed. Everyone looked at the gum Enri was holding, and then back to Wonka.

"Why would anyone want that?" Vince complained.

What do you mean "why would anyone want that?" Morons like you, Vince, don't know anything! Enri thought to himself.

"It will be the end of all kitchens and all cooking. A strip of Wonka's magic chewing gum and that is all you will ever need at breakfast lunch and dinner. This gum contains tomato soup, roast beef, and blueberry pie!" Wanda Wonka explained.

"It sounds weird" Vince replied.

YOU'RE weird. Not to mention crazy enough to show your ugly face in public.

"It sounds great!" said Chanelle.

Finally! Someone with the right opinion!

"It sounds like my kind of gum" Enri said, undermining Vince and eager to chew the gum.

"I'd rather you didn't, there's still one or two things tha-" Wanda Wonka started.

"You think I'm stupid enough to believe that? I'm not missing out on this rare opportunity, and I'm NOT afraid of any of your small mishaps." Idiots! Side-effects never affect me, anyway.

Enri popped the gum into his mouth and started chewing.

"How is it, Enri?" His sister asked.

"It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!"

"Yeah! Spit it out!"

"Why would I do that? You even said yourself that it's sensational!" How could such a simpleton like her create something so extraordinary? After a short moment, Enri's face lit up again. "It's changing, roast beef and baked potato! Crispy skin and butter!"

"My big brother's gonna' be the first person in the world to have a chewing gum meal!" Clara proclaimed energetically as she grinned at the others. "Keep chewing, bro!"

"Yeah! I'm just concerned about the-"

"Blueberry pie and ice-cream!" Enri proudly announced.

"That part..." Ms. Wonka said, a look of genuine concern on her face.

"Whats happening to his nose?" asked Vince.

"Huh?" replied Enri. "What are you talking about?"

"It's turning blue!"

"Oh yeah, nice try loser. I'm not phased by your desperate attempts to scare me." Vince is so jealous of me he tries to frighten me? What a sad case!

"I think you probably should be," interjected Wonka.

"Your whole nose has gone purple!" Clara remarked.

Enri rubbed his fingers against his nose. "Wha- what do you mean?" His voice confused, and somewhat nervous.

"You're... you're turning blue!" Clara desperately turned to Wonka. "What's happening?!"

"Well, I told you I hadn't got it right, because it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the Blueberry Pie that does it... I'm terribly sorry!" She then suddenly dashed out of sight.
Enri started looking at his hands, as they too were turning a shade of purple! "Guys! Do something, quick!" But no one budged. Vince just stood there smirking.

Within a short moment Enri's entire body had turned blue. He looked nervously at his sister and the rest of the group. "Clara... What's happening to me?!"

Suddenly there was a low rumble, and Enri put his hand on his stomach. There was another rumble, and then slowly his middle began to expand outwards, as though he was puffing it up himself. But then his sides began swelling outwards too. Enri tried to turn to see what was happening to him; he was ballooning outwards in all directions! I feel funny...
The end of his shirt began lifting up over his stomach, and the button on his jeans popped off with a quiet 'ping!' He hobbled back a few paces, literally taken aback by his rapidly increasing girth.

Vince laughed at this, prompting a very threatening look from Clara.

Nervously, Enri tried to waddle several steps forward but his arms and legs had begun sinking into his inflating body, which was quickly turning spherical. His pants were reaching their limits and his shirt had risen just over his belly button. He tried to pull it back down but he couldn't reach!

"He's swelling up!" Chanelle said.

"Like a balloon!" Exclaimed Mara.

"Like a blueberry!" Corrected Vince, his audacity now plain and clear. Him and Enri had been bitter rivals since they arrived at the factory.

At this point Enri's arms and legs had all but disappeared, leaving behind a pair of vestigial feet and hands that he flapped uselessly. His head had slightly sunk into his enormous, round body, and pretty soon all he resembled was a giant, ridiculous blue balloon.

His body had rolled forward ever so slightly - lifting his feet off the ground - and he could feel the hard floor on his upper thighs and the cold air on his exposed belly. He moaned uneasily as his violet eyes looked side to side helplessly, barely able to speak or move his head.

I'd rather die than be publically humiliated like this... Vince thought to himself. But it serves you right!

Clara gazed up in horror at what had become of her brother. His scared face, still partially obscured by his huge body, now peered down apprehensively at the very people he thought himself so superior to not 3 minutes beforehand.

"I've tried it on like twenty oompa-loompas, and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's really weird!" Wanda Wonka suddenly said to Clara, causing her to jump and startling everyone else.

"What... what do we do with him now? How do we put him right? Can you reverse it?" Clara hounded at Wonka.

"Stick him with a pin!" Vince joked.

"He'll pop!" Replied Chanelle.

Enri whimpered as Mara cautiously approached him and started prodding his tummy sharply.

"I've just called for some Oompa-loompas," said Ms. Wonka. "Perhaps they'll know what to do. I'm afraid I don't remember what actually became of the blueberry oompa-loompas."

"Will Enri always be a blueberry?" Asked Vince.

"Hopefully not. I don't know..." answered Wonka, seemingly distracted by something off in the distance and oblivious to the fact that Enri could still hear everything being said.

"Someone... please... help.. me..." Enri begged, struggling to finally get the words out. "Help... me..!"

"You had better hope not, Wonka" Clara retorted at the candy-woman. "For your sake! If you don'-"

"Aha! The juicing room! That's what we did with the other oompa-loompas" Wonka announced, delightfully. "I think your brother's too full to move himself, so I'll get the Oompa Loompas to roll him to the juicing room."

"The Juicing Room? What are they going to do with him there?"

"They're going to squeeze him, of course!" Laughed Ms. Wonka. Clara looked both frightened and disgusted. "Now where are those Oompa-Loompas?"

Just then, a strange rhythm of drums and other instruments began playing as a team of little people marched into the inventing room. Enri gazed at them nervously as they stood in a circle around him, and groaned painfully as several of them climbed up onto his back.

"I want you to roll our guest here back onto the boat and take him along to the juicing room at once. See if you can find a big enough juicer." Ms. Wonka directed the Oompa Loompas.

"Wait, what? What happens if there isn't one big enough?" Cried Clara.

"Well then I imagine he's going to have to avoid sharp objects for the rest of his life..." replied Wonka. Vince chuckled again.

"M-Ms Wonka... I'm... so sorry! I'm so sorry! Just turn me back!" Enri pleaded. Wanda Wonka just smiled and gestured for the Oompa Loompas to take him away.

"You best go with him, the Oompa Loompas can put on a spectacular show. You wouldn't want to miss this one!"

Clara glared threateningly at Wonka and the others before following the Oompa-Loompas back to the boat.

"Shall we roll on?"

Author's Note: 

Rule 63 applied to Charlie and the Chocolate factory :D

Average: 3.2 (5 votes)
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