Episode One: Water Water Everywhere
"Shhh...here she comes!"
"What?"
"Hey, don't look back yet."
"What's the big deal? She looks normal enough to me."
"Oh yeah? Just wait 'til she turns around!"
"Well I still don't see...Whoa!"
"Somthin' isn't she?"
"She looks human!"
"Yeah, a green-haired, pointy-eared, sabre-toothed, well-stacked human."
"Okay, so she's not quite human. What planet did they say she was from?"
"They say she's from Swaf 5...some sort of desert planet...can it, she's walking this way!"
Luke and John tried to look innocent as Galaxy University's new alien-exchange student walked briskly toward the end of the cafeteria line where they were standing. They tried not to stare directly at her "breasts" which swayed and jiggled violently with each of her bouncy steps.
"Greetings! My name is Neeko. May I sit with you in the dining establishment? I have not yet made any friends and I would appreciate your companionship."
Luke seemed to be in a trance...staring deeply into her eyes which, now that he was close enough for a good look, seemed to flicker and change color every few seconds.
"Hmm, mood-eyes" he thought to himself. "Hi, I'm Luke and this is John. We'd be happy to...Ow!" Luke began, but then received a sharp nudge from John, whose smirking face seemed to say, "she's an alien man! Snap out of it!" After picking up their trays, John grabbed Luke's arm and dragged him to an empty table.
"She's an alien man!"
"I knew you were going to say that...Come on! You have to admit she's beautiful."
"Yeah, but still..."
"...And I've had semi-successful relationships with other alien coeds."
"Okay okay, so maybe it's a possibility...but you should at least go get a physical profile of the Swafs. I mean, she might not even have the right plumbing...after all, she does come from a desert planet."
"Hmm, he's got a point." Luke thought to himself. Then again, he had in the past found other ways to make love to alien women who were missing certain bodily features.
"Okay you win. After lunch I'll call up the Swaf file on my notebook computer."
"Good man."
"I appreciate your offer, but I just cannot drink your Dr. Fizz!" Luke and John turned around and saw Neeko sitting at another table. She was trying to fight off the advances of a Norsher, who seemed to be trying to force feed her a 32 oz. soda.
"Please miss, I was admiring the way you eat, and nothing would give me more pleasure than to see you gulp down this drink!" And with that Goalf the Norsher finally was able to get a drop onto her lips. She absentmindedly licked the drop from her mouth, and then her eyes became bright blue, and seemed to lock on the drink cup. She licked her lips again and began smacking them as if she was dying of thirst. To the delight of Goalf she snatched the drink from him, holding it with two hands and slurping on the straw as if it were a baby bottle. Goalf frequently badgered women at the cafeteria into eating stuff for him, so no one really paid attention to what was going on, except for Luke and John. They watched even more intently as they noticed Neeko begin to make little noises of contentment as she sucked greedily on the straw.
"Mmm mmm mmm mmm" Neeko closed her eyes and moaned. She was clearly in ecstacy, but at the same time she was praying that no one was watching her, for as she felt the soda drain down the tubes of her digestive system, she knew where its final destination would be.
"What the hell is going on over there!?! Luke? Damnit you're zoning out on me again Luke!"
"Huh? Wha?"
"Get out your computer and call up that file now!"
"Okay okay!" Luke opened up his notebook computer and linked up with the National Alien Database. He punched up the Swaf file, skimmed through the biological section and began reading one passage aloud.
"Okay here it is: 'The Swaf female's only major orifices are located on the head.' Damn! I shoulda known!"
"Not that paragraph stupid! Keep reading!"
"Okay...let's see..."
"Mmmmm" Neeko continued to moan and slurp until nothing but air gurgled through her straw. John looked back just in time to see her set the large cup down to the side, giving him a perfect view of her figure.
"Ah, here it is! 'Water is very scarce on Swaf. However, when a Swaf female does consume water, it triggers the pleasure center in her brain, causing her to consume the entire body of liquid she is drinking from. Small amounts are converted directly to energy, but large amounts of fluid are stored for later conversion in..."
"Her breasts!"
"Hey that's right, how did you know that?"
"Look man! Look!"
Luke felt John's elbow nudging him painfully, so he quickly spun his chair around. His jaw dropped like a drawbridge as he looked at Neeko and her newly bloated chest! The half gallon of soda had been split evenly between both her breasts, and they now threatened to burst from her denim jacket. She struggled to undo her buttons and then her melon-sized breasts literally spilled out, jiggling like two swollen water balloons as they filled her pullover sweater.
"Whoa Luke! Maybe you should ask her out after all!..." John began, but Luke had already sprang out of his chair running toward Neeko, for he was afraid of what Goalf's next move might be.
"Oh no! Look what you've done!" she scolded Goalf through her tightly clenched teeth--she didn't want to attract too much attention. She cupped her hands under her breasts, feeling that they were still firm and round, despite being bloated with soda.
"What I did? But you..."
"That's enough Goalf, just leave the lady alone!" Goalf backed off at Luke's command. He was really harmless, and a few harsh words were always enough to drive him away.
"Are you okay Ms. Neeko?"
"Oh please just call me Neeko. Yes I'm fine now, thank you Lake."
Luke could here the soda fizz and swish in her swaying breasts as she stood to greet him.
"It's Luke. And..."
"...and don't mind Goalf, " John said as he walked up to them,
"He's a Norsher...they enjoy feeding women until they're big as a house."
"Especially beautiful women, " added Luke, and Neeko shoot him a smile that said, "Flattery will get you everywhere!"
"Oh well, I guess he could've done worse. If that stuff was water, my body break most of it down into hydrogen and oxygen gas. What was in that drink anyway? It makes me feel all tingly inside."
"Carbonated water," John said bluntly.
"Oh no, I have to get out of here!" she muttered nervously through her sharp teeth. Luke suddenly heard a faint hissing sound and noticed Neeko's breasts begin to swell even larger, pushing her jacket open further.
"Hydrogen and oxygen? Shit those are volatile gases man!" John whispered to Luke. "Let's get out before she blows!" Ignoring his friend's warnings Luke grabbed Neeko's arm and quickly escorted her out the back door to an area behind the cafeteria hidden by bushes.
"Unnngh, I'm blowing up!" Neeko moaned loudly as her hissing breasts began to inflate more rapidly. Luke began to back away, but then it seemed she was moaning from pleasure, not from pain.
"Mmmmmmm" She closed her eyes and made little noises of contentment like she did when she was drinking until finally her breasts stopped inflating. She looked down at her pumpkin-sized breasts stretching her white sweater to it's limits.
"Are you okay Neeko?" Luke asked, noticing that she was standing on her toes as if she were about to float away. Her breasts seemed to be pulling her chest skyward.
"Oohh my! My body can't absorb this much gas...unngh, I must release it!" And with that she began massaging her nipples through her sweater until they became erect. She continued massaging them until finally, there was a faint hissing sound and her breasts slowly deflated back to normal.
"Boy was that weird!" Luke thought to himself. After unsuccessfully attempting to make her over-stretched sweater look decent again, Neeko walked over to Luke, "I really appreciate your helping me Locust."
"It's Luke."
"I would have been really embarrassed if that had happened inside. What can I do to thank you?"
Luke didn't have to think long. "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"
"I'd love to! Do you have a kitchen?"
"Well ya but..."
"Grand! I'll bring over some food and cook the customary Swaf first-date meal. Where do you live?"
"I'm renting that blue house on Bailey Street. But I..."
"Okay, I'll see you at...7pm then, is that alright?"
"Um ya I guess...but..."
"Okay it's a date then! See you tonight Lokey!" she said, and she quickly disappeared around the cafeteria building.
"Gee, she's even more aggressive than my second ex-girlfriend, " Luke thought to himself.
"Now all you have to do is get her to drink some water tonight!" said John, who had been watching the whole thing from behind a dumpster.
"Hey, that would be awfully evil." Luke raised his hand to his chin and pondered for a moment, "I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind."
John held his hands up and moved them outward as if he were trying to contain huge inflating breasts.
"Stop John."
John then began to bob up and down on his toes, "Oh no, I'm gonna float away! Grab my leg Luke!"
"Cut it out!"
"Oh no! Don't light that match! Kaaaboom!" John lost his balance and fell to the ground laughing uncontrollably.
"John!"
"Oh alright! Jeeze, no sense of humor."
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DING DONG!
"Ah, 7pm on the dot," Luke opened the door to find Neeko standing there holding a grocery bag. She had changed from her overstretched sweater into a silvery latex-like body-suit (probably some sort of Swaf fashion). It completely covered her body like a second skin, creaking softly with even the slightest movement.
"Where did she find a fetish clothing store in this town?" Luke thought to himself.
"Greetings Lunk! We are fortunate! The university convenience store received a shipment of Swaf food! I will prepare it for us! Take me to your kitchen!" Neeko exclaimed. She bounced up and down with excitement, almost dropping her alien groceries.
"Okay, I guess we'll get right down to dinner then. The kitchen is this way."
Luke lead her to his kitchen/dining area, which he had frantically cleaned up for her arrival. Strangely, as soon as she entered she stopped dead and looked as if she'd seen a ghost.
"I hadn't anticipated that human kitchens would be so different! Please tell me what this device is," she said pointing to a burner.
"Oh that's the stove top. We use it to cook our food at high temperatures."
"Perfect!" said Neeko, and she removed an ornate pot from her bag and placed it on the stove, turning the temperature control to medium high.
"And what is this device?" she said pointing to the top of his refrigerator.
"That's the freezer...it's where we freeze stuff for storage."
"Perfect!" she said again, removing a dish that was covered in frost from her bag. She opened the door and set it down inside. "What is down here?" she said opening the bottom part of the refrigerator.
"That's where we keep other stuff cold like beverages and stuff."
Neeko's eyes widened and she seemed to stare longingly at the cans of beer and soda. "Oh...beverages" she sighed, then quickly snapped out of her trance and slammed the door shut. "Okay, what other devices are here?"
Luke noticed her reaction to his drinks, but didn't mention it.
"Well, there's the microwave where we nuke food and the toaster oven and..." Neeko continued taking food out of her sack and placing it into every appliance Luke described. She had punched up, plugged in, and switched on just about everything but the kitchen sink.
"What is this?"
"The kitchen sink."
"What does it do?"
"Not much, you just turn this knob and..."
"Water!?! Humans have water dispensers in their homes???"
"Yeah, pretty much everyone has one. Since you're from a desert planet you probably haven't seen much water, but human's need plenty of it to survive. So as long as I pay my bills, that faucet will pretty much have an endless supply of...Neeko? Are you okay?"
Beverages in the refrigerator and an endless supply of water from the kitchen sink...the concept was almost overwhelming to Neeko, who had once again fallen into a thirstful trance.
"Neeko!?!"
"Wha? Oh sorry! I was just um...watching the gwabo, I think it needs stirring," she said, diving her hand into the pot of steaming hot...uh...steaming hot...um...
"Uh, gee, what are you cooking Neeko?"
"It's gwabo...you know, stewed gwabat nards." She easily withstood the heat and (as Luke now noticed) the stench as she literally hand stirred the stinky, greasy nards of a gwabat. Needless to say, Luke was feeling a little ill.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom for a minute. I'll be right back," and with that he bolted out of the kitchen holding his hand over his mouth and nose.
Now alone in the kitchen, Neeko found it very difficult to control her urges. She tried sipping some gwabo, but this anhydrous sludge couldn't satisfy her thirst for water. Finally, Neeko convinced herself that if she drank one can of beer, she could control her thirst for the rest of the night. So she opened the refrigerator, grabbed a can, bit into it and started slurping.
A few gulps later the can was empty and her breasts were each 8 ounces fuller. She patted her chest and let out a belch of contentment. Thanks to the beer (and her newly impaired judgement) she decided, "What the heck. Another can won't hurt." Can after can she bit into and drank. Her breasts swelled larger and larger with each gulp. Underneath the silver latex they looked even more like water balloons than they did in the cafeteria. By the time she had gulped down all of the beers and soda in the refrigerator, her breasts were each as big as one gallon milk jugs. The liquid inside her swished and fizzed audibly, and she had trouble keeping her balance as her jugs jiggled and swayed from side to side.
"Oh no, what have I done!?!" Neeko exclaimed. She cupped her hands underneath her bloated boobs and wondered whether Luke would be upset at her lack of self control.
"Oh well at least there's no more wat..." her thought was interrupted by a very tantalizing sound. DRIP! She heard it again and her eyes turned toward the kitchen sink. DRIP! "...an unlimited supply..." she whispered to herself. DRIP! Neeko was truly hypnotized now as she slowly approached the sink, licking her lips in thirst. She lifted herself onto the counter and then lay down with her head in the sink, looking up at the faucet. DRIP! When that single drop hit her lips she could no longer control herself. She turned the knob on the faucet and began to guzzle furiously as the stream poured into her mouth. Her hands struggled to keep her swollen 'water'- melons from pulling her off the counter.
"Mmmmm mmmm mmmmm!" she moaned happily in between gulps. The sensations from her rapidly bloating breasts were giving her pleasure more intense than anything she'd ever felt before.
When Luke returned from the bathroom, he was shocked by the sight before him. Neeko was laying on the counter with her head under the faucet greedily gulping down every drop, and by now her breasts looked like two water-filled beach balls, and were still swelling visibly. Her latex sleeves made loud squeaking sounds as her arms struggled to hold her bloated breasts.
"Neeko! Stop that!"
"I can't!" Neeko managed to gurgle from under the water stream. "I can't help myself Lurk! It feels so good! An endless supply! Mmmmm!"
Luke attempted to turn off the faucet, but the knob was jammed. After a little of struggling, he managed to pull her arm away from her left tit. It's bloated mass fell to her side and pulled her off the countertop onto the floor. She landed on her chest with a loud SPLASH!
"Yep yep! I landed on my boob balls! My beach boobs! Hahahaha!"
"You're drunk!"
"Nooo! I only had one six pack...is that so wrong? Hahahaha! Oooo, I feel funny..."
A loud bubbling and then a hissing came from Neeko's breasts. Luke turned her over and sure enough they had begun to swell again...this time with air! Since her breasts had inflated so big last time, Luke knew she'd wreck his house if he didn't get her out soon. Her breasts were too heavy for her to stand up, and she certainly couldn't walk outside. Luke had to think fast.
"How would you like a piggy back ride?"
"Well okay, but I don't think my tits are big enough to support you yet."
"No no no, just climb on."
His head was completely surrounded by the valley of Neeko's breasts, but he managed to find his way to the sliding glass doors in the back of the house. He kicked both of them off of their tracks, and Neeko's now bean bag sized breasts fit easily out the double doorway. But they weren't finished inflating yet. They grew larger and lighter, forcing Neeko to stand on her toes as her giant balloons pointed toward the sky. Neeko continued to moan from the pleasure her rapidly expanding breasts were giving her until a major problem arose.
"Help Leak! I'm going to float away! Grab my leg!" Her couch sized breasts had finally stopped inflating, but suddenly her feet had left the ground.
"If only John knew how right he was," thought Luke as he grabbed Neeko's leg and tied a vine from a nearby tree around her ankle. "Okay Neeko, you'd better release the gas now before something pops you."
"Unnngh, but...but I can't reach my nipples! You'll have to tickle them for me Lurch!"
"It's Luke, " Luke grumbled, pulling down one massive tit. He began massaging and licking the huge fist sized nipple and then moved to the other one.
Just when he had started to really get into it Neeko said, "that's enough! It's starting now! Stand back!"
After a couple seconds Luke heard a hissing sound and her breasts began to quickly deflate. There was one miscalculation in their plan however. Neeko's bodysuit had no place for air to escape! It soon began to billow out at her hips, then her thighs and arms until when her breasts were finally back to normal she looked like the Goodyear blimp floating in her silver latex bodysuit. They both were puzzled at this new dilemma until Luke finally got an idea. He climbed on top of her, cause her to sink to the ground. Then he pulled on her turtle neck collar allowing all the air to escape, most of it gusting into the doorway he'd just carried Neeko through.
After struggling inside her suit to get her limbs back into the right sleeves, she gave Luke a hug and said, "Thanks, you saved me again. My hero! BURP! Oh excuse me! I sorry I ruined our evening."
"That's alright. It could've been worse...say, do you smell something burning?" Suddenly Luke's head began to race. "Burning nards + hydrogen & oxygen gas = ROCKET FUEL! Oh shit! Let's get out of here!"
Luke and Neeko ran to the street and looked back just in time to see his house get blown to bits. Several firetrucks soon arrived and attempted to put out the blaze.
"Jeeze man, what happened here?" said John as he walked up. Luke's friend was a frequent rubbernecker and firetruck chaser.
"I couldn't take the heat so I got out of the kitchen."
"Ha ha. Let me guess...Neeko? I told you! Volatile gases man! Volatile gases!"
"Yeah, I guess you were right John."
"Hey, am I ever wrong? Don't answer that. I guess you better go break up with her then, before she nuke's something else."
"Yeah, I guess I'd better...gee, where'd she go?"
"Hey lady! Give us back our fire hose!"
"OH NO not again!" Luke shook his head in disbelief as Neeko stuck the firehose nozzle in her mouth and pulled the lever. Her breasts filled so quickly that she immediately fell forward onto the ground. In a few seconds however her breasts had bloated large enough for her to stand up again. She was almost squealing in orgasmic delight as she swallowed more water than she could have ever imagined. She was no longer visible behind her tits as they swelled to the size of Volkswagen beetles.
"Neeko stop! You're going to explode!" She seemed too entranced to hear Luke's plees as she continued to drink from the firehose. Her breasts continued to swell larger and larger, looking like the most gigantic water balloons in the world. When the firemen finally wrestled the hose from her mouth her breasts were each larger than trailer homes and their growth had lifted her body a few feet off the ground.
"Neeko! Are you okay?"
"Mmmm! Okay!?! I've never felt better! I never dreamed of drinking so much water! My breasts are so full and tingly, and it's all thanks to you! But I'm afraid I can't stay...for I would eventually drain your planet dry and make it like my own."
"What do you mean? Neeko, what are you going to do?" Before Luke could get an answer, a loud bubbling then a hissing sound indicated that Neeko's water conversion had begun. Her breasts grew absolutely enormous, lifting her body several feet off the ground before they themselves were light enough to break the bonds of gravity. They were much larger than any house, and the bore a striking resemblance to twin Goodyear blimps until they finally blasted the latex suit off them with an earth shaking BANG that knocked everyone off their feet. When they finally stopped inflating they were the length of a football field from front to back and from top to bottom. Neeko's tiny body was barely visible at the back of the two gargantuan boob blimps, but Luke could see she was wildly spasming from the intense sensations she was feeling through her giant balloons.
"Luke I want to go home! Do you have a light!"
"A light? What does she mean?" Luke thought as he watched her legs continue to flail, but now her arms were massaging what she could reach of her super-inflated breasts. Then Luke thought he heard the sound of a jet engine, but realized it was air escaping from Neeko's nipples. Her enormous nipples were so sensitive now she did need to touch them to start the deflation response. She somehow seemed able to steer herself through the sky, and did circles over the remains of Luke's house, waiting for his response.
"She wants to go home? A light? What's she talking about Luke?" asked John. But Luke was gone, having figured out her plan, he raced to his car and removed a flare from his trunk. He lit it and began to aim his throwing arm for Neeko's nipples. "Luke are you nuts??? You'll nuke the whole university...the whole city if you throw that!"
"Well that's a chance I'm willing to take...after all, she did call me Luke, "and with that he launched the flare dead center between Neeko's nipples. The gases ignited and the two blimps took off together like rockets until the flames were only a tiny flicker in the night sky.
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Luke got a postcard from Neeko the next week thanking him for all his help. The card would've arrived sooner, but of course, she'd gotten his name wrong again.
"That's a neat little trick she did with those rocket hooters. Rumor has it that's how she got here in the first place, " said John looking over Luke's shoulder. Luke was staying with John since his house got fried. Fortunately, an alien friend from Galaxy U's college of architecture offered to rebuild the house for an extra credit project.
"Well bud, are you finally through with alien girls for good?"
"Heck no! One bad date isn't the end of the world...I mean, after all, a guy can't have bad luck with every woman he meets...can he?"