INTERNAL MEMO -- CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: C. Merton Hewlett
TO: J. T. Ingless
SUBJECT: PuffyLite public taste trials (disaster)
This memo is to wrap up the events of the disasterous PuffyLite taste test that went so terribly wrong this weekend. I am currently trying to figure out just where things went wrong and who is to blame. As soon as I'm able to determine accountability, I assure you someone will be looking for a new job.
Anyway, J. T., first let me brief you on exactly what happened. You're probably heard a variety of stories and bits and pieces, so let me start at the beginning.
The camera crew arrived late. We had already set up the table with the three taste-testing booths. They hurried to set up the microphones, and we brought the actresses who were going to play the part of the taste-testers out of the makeup trailer.
I know, originally the taste-testers were supposed to be actual women off the street, but you always say, "Don't leave anything to chance."
So we finally set everything up, and it was getting near noon, so a crowd was gathering to watch the shoot. I spotted a few candidates for the actual live tests after the staged tests. One was a small woman in a little red skirt, and I swear you could see all the way down her...
Sorry, J. T. You have to understand I've been under a lot of strain lately.
We set up the shoot, and got out the samples of PuffyLite that we brought along. We got shots of the actresses saying, "Mmmm....! This one is much better than the rest!" (yadda yadda) and holding up the PuffyLite bar. The one actress, Vanessa, was completely unworkable. She overacted so much that I decided right there we were going to have to cut almost all of her shots. Which is a shame, because with a chest like hers, the audience wouldn't be able to take their eyes off the screen.
All was going fine until the announcer read the part of the script about the weight-loss advantages of PuffyLite. "Lose five pounds in two days!" etcetera etcetera. You've seen the script. We picked the sweet little brunette to step up on the scale, squeal with delight, then lift her shirt to show her flat tummy -- just what we planned.
Well, she gets up on the scale, looks at the weight, then shouts, "I've lost five pounds! I really have!" The set director -- you know her, Lola whatever -- is nodding and giving her a look like, "That's nice, but stick to the script." As she's stepping off the scale, she's saying, "But I really have lost five pounds!"
Well. The women in crowd that has gathered is now *very* interested. They are getting pushier and pushier. I'm a little nervous about distributing the free samples, because I'm not sure that we have enough to go around.
Moreover, I look over and catch that bitch Vanessa helping herself to the free samples. When I take them away from her, she stomps off to pout. Then I notice some of the female members of the crew munching on the PuffyLite bars. My God! And these are supposed to be professionals.
I tell the set director, "We'd better distribute the samples and take the candid shots before this turns into a riot." And the set director nods and turns to get to work. But she's hiding something in her hand, and when I call her name, she turns and has something in her mouth. Damn it all!
So the first three boxes of PuffyLite vanish in a flash. The crowd literally gobbles them down in moments. Fortunately, I thought to bring a few more boxes, so I go to the car and get them. The crew was filiming the little woman in the red skirt.
When I got back, they eagerly grabbed the extra boxes I brought, and now everyone is downing the little bars. Crew, crowd, actresses.
Vanessa climbed up on the scale, and squealed with delight, "Ten pounds! I've lost ten pounds!" It actually would have made a great shot, except right then her boobs popped out of her dress. She seemed to be having trouble squeezing them back in. "Great!" I thought. "More wasted film!"
Then the little brunette actress started to moan. I should have seen it coming. She lifted her shirt to look at her flat tummy, only it wasn't so flat anymore. It was buldging out, straining against her belt. She had a really confused look on her face, like she couldn't understand what was happening.
The third actress had a funny expression, too. Her blouse was pooching out around her middle. She was fumbling with her belt, but it was way too tight for her to get loose. Then that dingbat Vanessa -- who still hadn't squeezed her boobs back into her dress -- gasped loudly. Looking at her, I wondered how she squeezed those mams into that little dress in the first place. I mean, they were *enormous*.
The crowd got really quiet, watching intently now. And in the quiet I thought I heard a hissing. Like air, or gas. But it was coming from all around. It was loudest right behind me, and I turned to see the set director -- Lola -- standing right there, pulling up her shirt.
Her tummy was filling up, J. T.!
Thinking quickly, I reached down. She was wearing a stylish little rope belt, which I helped her undo. The kicked off her jeans as her entire midsection swelled.
Vanessage was huge now -- all of her. Her belly was swaying before her, her dress split up the side. Her huge boobs bobbed in the wind in front of her. Unable to see where she was going, she stumbled into the crowd.
The camera crew -- all of them women, I noticed -- were also staggering around. The were getting huge. Two of them were helping each other to shed their rapidly constricting clothes.
Something bumped into me, gently, then drifted off. I turned and saw the brunette actress floating away along the ground, her outstretched toes barely skimmin along the concrete. She was completely naked, a huge globe with hands, feet, a round head, and a shocked expression.
The little woman in the red dress was standing there, stunned, as women in the crowd inflated around her. I jumped forward and worked her belt free. Then I pulled down her skirt. Her tummy surged forward beneath her sleeveless t-shirt. I yanked that over her head, then started working on the clasp to the bra. After I fumbled with it for a few moments, she swatted my hands away and unclasped it with a quick motion. I snapped it free and tossed it over my shoulder.
Her chest was swelling and rising toward me as screaming, inflating women ran in circles around us. I thought I saw the brunette actress holding on for dear life to a camera boom as she floated up, her feet rising into the air. But I wasn't paying much attention. I leaned over and put my mouth over the now naked woman's rapidly growing tit. As I licked and sucked it, she moaned loudly. I put my hands around her waist, and felt them get pushed apart as I continued to suckle against her ballooning breast.
I notice Vanessa crying, "Oh no!" and wafting up into the air. Her breasts were two half-domes poking out of the huge orb that she had become. She floated up and around the corner of a bulding while I watched. I quickly reached down and undid my pants and kicked them off over my shoes. I stroked the protruting nipples of the woman before me with my thumbs. "What's your name?" I asked.
"Jessica," she gulped, through puffy cheeks.
"Pleased to meet you Jessica." I reached down and grabbed her buttocks where they met her thighs. They were huge, and still growing. I hefted her up and started poking around with my diamond-hard dick trying to find her pussy. She tried to reach down to help me find it, but her swollen arms couldn't reach around her rounded body. I found it though, and as I slid it it was deliciously wet and ready.
The puffiness in her crotch was a feeling I don't think I can describe. But I pumped hard, clasping her swelling buttocks, as I watched other women in the crowd fill up and begin to float. Jessica and I groaned together as the air filled with round pink, yellow, and brown bodies, all headed for the skies.
As I thrust into her, less and less was I lifting her, and more and more was I holding her down. Finally, my arms outstretched more and more, I felt the wave of heat rush from her into me. She started gasping in little bursts, then let out a squealing moan. At that moment I shot a huge wad of cum into her hot pussy. I pumped and pumped like it would never stop.
But it did stop. She was too round, and I couldn't hold on to her anymore. She drifted up as I staggered back, exhausted. She cried out, "Nooooooo!"
"I'll call you!" I yelled as she sailed away. But then I realized I had neglected to get her phone number.
I collapsed on the ground of the now empty street corner. Pieces of clothing were scattered everywhere like a brightly colored storm had hit. It was cold without my pants on, but I just lay back and watched the skies where little colored bubbles floated across the skyline of the city.
I guess they really didn't go very high, or very far. And they did land gently. Of course, there was a swarm of lawyers running around town, chasing the inflated women, waiting for them to come down. A bit of a nightmare for legal, wouldn't you say, J. T.?
Now, what was the thing I was going to say? Oh... that's it. The person responsible for this calamity? Who was it that made the discovery that the dieting agent in PuffyLite was a very delicate formula, and under the wrong conditions could turn into a powerful agent that turned fat into lighter-than-air gas?
Hm... who could that be? Who on Earth could that be?
IT WAS ME! I MADE THE DISCOVERY! I LACED THE SAMPLE BARS WITH THE MUTATED FORMULA! I WAS THE ONE WHO SET UP THE OUTDOOR TASTE TEST! I WAS THE ONE WHO BROUGHT THE EXTRA BOXES OF PUFFYLITE!
IT WAS ME! IT WAS ME! IT WAS ME!
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!
(delivered from the Mountain View Mental Institution, following the infamous PuffyLite float-away incident, August 21, 1995)