Not So Fearless Vampire Killers

Date Written: 

Author`s intro.

Hi folks, I have a whole movie script`s worth of ideas for this very unique vampire hunter horror/comedy. I never wrote a story until today. This is my first attempt as this is for review the story does not begin from the very beginning. The story that follows is only but a small part. Kind of like a trailer per-se. The body inflation featured in this story may be a tad unconventional by current standards, but I have a story brewing in my head and I am here to share it with you. Enjoy. :-)


(Not-so) Fearless Vampire Killers

“Complete prototype edition”


       And the story begins

It`s 3:00 on a Summer`s early Sunday morning. So early that the sun has not yet risen. At the Main street of a busy town clubbers are wasted and are about to flood the street with lots of noise on their way back home.

“Last orders at the bar!” Screamed the DJ of a relatively new and upbeat nightclub based in an abandoned and semi-refurbished church. Music is loud and pumping. The atmosphere is absolutely insane as the clubbers already absolutely hammered are in a mad rush to line up for their last fix of booze.

A beautiful young blonde in a red dress approaches a man at the bar. “Hey handsome I see you`re not too into this place. Something wrong?” she said seductively. “I heard better tunes in a graveyard at a funeral” he replied. “Oh, then perhaps you would like to follow me to where the real party is at” she whispered into his ear. The man looks at her clearly checking the gorgeous vixen out and responds “I have spent lots of cash tonight on..... Well nothing. I might as well spend the last lot on good company....... Who are you dallin?“ She gave him a sweet smile while looking up and down as though she is very impressed and as she took his hand in order to lead him away she said softly. “I am the public relations of this very establishment” They walk through a door on a side of the bar into the empty VIP lounge. Locks the door and pushes the man on the couch. A whole new genre of music starts playing. She starts dancing slowly getting closer and closer into the man`s personal space while taking her clothes off. She is so beautiful and mesmerising he hardly noticed the presence of 6 other ultra hot lasses. They sneak behind his couch then suddenly he finds himself cuffed to a dancer`s pole behind the couch. “Holy shit! Where did you?........” Stopping the yelling only as he noticed the other beautiful ladies. The Vixens told him to be quiet and everyting will be just awesome as they one by one started taking their clothes off. “This is fucking epic!!!” He shouted while thinking “If this is real I hope I don`t have to pay for this as much as I think I do”

The ladies then introduce themselves. “I`m Celeste” Said the slowly approaching brunette with a Spanish accent. “I and Riley will be taking close  care of you tonight”........ “Umm .... Which one is Riley” He asked. “Oh you already met our blonde PR girl. She is new and really wants to please” He could not help himself but being turned on by the sight of the gorgeous babes. He dropped all suspicion of the situation when Riley started grinding on his crotch while Celeste starts kissing him slowly. The other vixens start making out and rubbing each other to the state of total sexual arousal as Riley and Celeste proceed to getting their “Customer” laid.

         2 hours later the orgy has ended with the lucky guy getting laid by all 7 babes. He is completely out of breath with a big breasted red-head on top of him. He cannot believe his luck while all 7 hot chicks start looking at him in a rather odd way. “Why are you staring at me like that“ he said. He then looks at Celeste noticing that she got bigger than she was earlier on. Her breasts and belly have increased in size. She smiled saying nothing. Her belly now appears 9 month pregnant and her breasts have swollen at least one cup size. “Celeste...... Were you fuckin pregnant all along? Was I really that drunk I didn`t notice? WTF to that!!” She looks and him and laughs and as she rubs her belly and engorged breasts she says. “We really enjoyed riding you and I must say thanks for feeding my pussy with your white stuff. Now you`re going to pay us all by feeding us with your blood!” Silence filled the room for a moment and suddenly all 7 vixens opened their mouths wide and bared their fangs while emitting a cat-like hissing noise they sank their teeth into the man draining him to death while he screamed from the pain.

         BANG! The door to the VIP lounge gets kicked through and 3 masked men burst through the door. The vampires turn round with their fangs covered in blood and scream with a shocked and angry state of emotion clearly visible on their beautiful faces.


“Hello bichez!” Shouts one of the dudes with a cocky voice. “Looks like we missed a propah gang bang fellas.” The vampires quickly get off their victim and assume a hostile position. Celeste shouts ”Who the fuck are you?” “We`re the cleanup crew and it looks like you made quite a mess. Now what do you say my friends. Shall we get started or waaat!?” the leader replied. He then takes out a pistol crossbow clearly loaded with a wooden bolt and shoots it at the red-haired vixen only just hitting her heart. The vampiresses looked at her in disbelief as she quickly swelled up 3 times her normal size. So rapidly that by the time she screamed “Holy Shiiiiii”

POOOF!!!!! She explodes in a cloud of dust covering the furniture round where she just stood.

“Riley! Hide!” Shouts Celeste with a clear anger in her voice with a touch of genuine concern. “A little attached are we?” Said the leader of the hunters to the obviously pregnant vampire. Then a fight breaks out. 2 more vampiresses are quickly dispatched. BANG!........... POOOF! “It`s almost too easy.” One of the hunters commented with a touch of nervouseness in his voice. Only 2 vampires remained in the room after Riley locked herself in a room across the hallway. Celeste puts up a huge fight clearly showing her speed and strength. She was going to be tough to beat. The other girl just stood there not doing much with her eyes wide open she hid herself in a cupboard. Celeste on the other hand was bravely and confidently doing her best to fight off the hunters until WHAP! One of the guys knocks her head clean off with a guitar snapping it in half. White goo shoots up like a fountain for a moment and stops. But to the hunters surprise Celeste did not explode. She just continued blindly swiping with her arms blindly without aim trying to hit any by stander unfortunate enough to be within her arm`s reach. “What the fuuuuuck is going on!? How the hell is she still alive?” Shouts one of the hunters. “How the hell am I supposed to know?” The leader replied with an equal level of surprise in his voice. “Throw me the rest of that guitar mate”. He just about caught the broken instrument in mid air as he landed and slid between the headless vampire`s legs he trips her making her fall to the ground which gave him the perfect opportunity to stake her with that exact object. ......... Silence fills the room.

“Jonny!” One of the hunters shouted. “I hope you don`t mind my asking but aren`t vampires supposed to blow up when you do that to them and since when are they capable of breeding dammit? Lastly don`t get me wrong, but every time a head came of one of these FREAKS they seem to go down immediately so what the fuck is she and what the fuck is that white shit inside her?! “Shut up for a second Malcolm. In case you didn’t know I am not an encyclopedia on supernatural shit! All I know is if it doesn’t breathe, stake it, burn it or chop it into bits. I have never seen anything like THIIIIIIIISSS?!?! Shock filled Jonny`s eyes as he realised that the broken guitar just came out of the chest of the down, but not out she-demon all by itself and her head seems to have grown back.....

Celeste regains consciousness. Now more furious than ever she kicks Jonny into a corner 10 metres away, lifts Malcolm by his throat and throws him even further away almost breaking his neck. She turns toward the third hunter who just stood frozen in fear she slices a wound on him with her long nails and quickly drains all his blood. Jonny approaches Malcolm who clearly pissed himself and now has a terrified and equally embarrassed expression on his face. “Jonny she`s indestructible....... W..W.... What the fuck are we going to d. D...DDooooo?” He stuttered. Celeste, now finished with her second meal gets up and walks toward the remaining, now too scared to move hunters. All hope now seems lost. She bends over with a sadistic smile on her face and says “You killed my minions. Now how about I tear your head off and see how you li...... Ouch!” Her whole body swings back to fully upright position. Her mouth wide open she looks behind herself only to find another man is holding a strange object that just penetrated her butt. The object seems to be sharp and contain a blue liquid. “Hello gawjus” He said. “Oooh you look so constipated I figured it`s time for an enema time for you” He pushed the button on the strange looking syringe still buried up the angry vampire`s butt and the liquid it contained started flowing inside Celeste. “What did you just inject me with you bastard Its hot....... Ouch! Oh my frikking god its hot” Her white blood while completely fire resistant seemed to heat up rapidly. The temperature started to increase the pressure inside her already engorged by pregnancy body. She burped as she yelled “Damn it hurts, why? What is happening to me?” her blood temperature keeps rising progressively meanwhile her breasts, her butt and her belly seem to get engorged further and further. “Please stop it! I`m sorry please make this stop!” The stranger responded. “I can`t. Even if I wanted to the venom is inside you and attacking your dna. It will spread all over you. Did you know a fun fact of vampire biology? Its not the liquid thats hot. Its your Immune system heating you up while trying to fight off the antigen in the venom. Quite unsuccessfully. Oh and look this” He yanks the device out of her butt. “The cartridge is empty. You now have the whole thing in you...... Sorry but you`re screwed.”

Celeste is getting hotter and hotter gaining size every second inch by inch. She now  has triple G sized breasts and her nipples are now puffing out much more than usual. Her belly is now the size of a giant beachball reaching all the way to the floor.

Then her body temperature reached the boiling point. Her veins start to swell up visibly. Her breasts started squirting milk like a fountain. HEEEEEEELLLLLP MEEEEEEEE!!!!!! She screams at the top of her voice!

BANG!!!!!! She burst in a huge explosion covering the entire room in white milky goo Which was steaming and quickly evaporated leaving white stains everywhere........

“Amateurs” The strange saviour said with a disappointed look on his face. “Now get up you pussies. There are still 2 of those bloodsuckin bitches left”. The 2 friends reluctantly do so. “Thans for savin our asses Kind stranger........” Jonny said with a shattered ego “We have got to get some of those..... What do you call`em things you just burst that hooker with? Oh, and who are,ya?”........

“This is what I call a Universal Stake. It injects a venom that destroys all vampire DNA causing a thermal reaction resulting in...... Well you just saw what happened to her didn`t ya? And who I am is irrelevant. All ya need to know right now is. If you wanna survive the night you stick with me.” The 2 friends nod in acceptance of such action. The stranger then walks over to the corridor and says “look who I found.” As he lifts a hog-tied vampire out of the hallway. “Why didn`t you just finish her” Asked Malcolm.... “I figured with the last one of these bitches locked up behind that door this Red Blood vamp may come in handy for her flammable properties.” He drags the completely immobilised vampire to the locked door as she mumbles inaudibly through a rag tat covered her mouth obviously pleading for mercy.

“ Hey amateurs! Watch this!” the stranger said while walking to a safe distance.. He takes another universal stake out of his belt holster, sets the rate of injection switch to rapid and throws it at the tied vampire`s exposed chest. She yells something unintelligibly. Her body temperature quickly increased and she swelled up much quicker than the last vampire did as. She got bigger and bigger, her beautifully inflated body is now pushed to the limit under the intense heat and pressure. She screams she is now looking like she ate 800 burgers and the size of her belly is further expanding.

The stranger gets a magnum out of his holster. Loads a silver bullet. The inflated vampire saw the barrel pointing at her giant belly her eyes now wide open. He pulls the trigger. Bang. The silver bullet leaves the gun The vampires now can only just about watch it approach her. It punctures her belly and ignites her blood.

BOOOOOM!!!!! A huge fiery explosion occurred. She blew up like an incendiary grenade ripping the locked door of its hinges. The 3 men enter the room with blacked out windows. Gorgeous riley stood in the middle of it. “You blew up my MOMMY!” She shouted at the top of her voice as she charged towards the men at incredible speed with her fangs bared. Her face showed nothing but fury. She Pinned Malcolm to the floor. Jonny puts a stake in her through her back hoping to finish this once and for all but a stream of white goo squirts out of the wound. She kicks him away and takes the stake out. Jonny clearly missed her heart. “Oh shit! Not another one of THESE!!” the stranger checks his belt and “Dammit! I used my last U-stake on the fireworks show.”........ “Oh bollocks!” Yelled Malcolm with an almost girly-grade petrified voice. Jonny grabs Riley and tries to lift her off his friend while the other grabs her legs. She squirmed while furiously emitting a hissing noise. The stranger wasting no time ties her arms and legs with cable ties and shouts “Throw her in the pool!!!” Jonny and Malcolm immediately did so.. “Why the hell did we just do that? Vampires can`t drown” they asked. The stranger looks at them and says. “It traped her didn`t it? She ain`t goin nowhere”.  He again takes his gun out of the holster, points it at the blacked out skylight and shoots. BANG! Painted-over glass collapsed from the ceiling above the pool letting in the morning sun. The rays penetrated beautifully through the water. Riley still trapped and unable to escape had to close her eyes as the sun appears blinding to her. She tried to let out a scream but all that came out of her mouth was air bubbles and muffled noise. She realised she is screwed. Her blood quickly gained temperature inflating her petite teenage body. Her once small breasts have swollen 4 cup sizes. Her butt-cheeks now the size of a jumbo basketball each and continue to get bigger. The rest of her body fared no better. Her belly now looks huge like she is carrying an adult person inside her. The heat spread through to her arms and legs inflating her thighs in a pulsing fashion.. Her rosy cheeks got big and puffy. Her blood now reached the boiling point. Rate of inflation increased. Her veins now bulging all over.. She stopped moving for a few moments. No sound coming out of her at all. All you can hear under the water is subtle but powerful heart-beat. Beat after beat, beat after beat for 10 seconds in near silence. Then a loud noise brewed up from within Riley`s over inflated body. It was like rubber being stretched beyond its limits muffled by the water.............. BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! Riley finally met her maker in a colossal explosion that caused a small scale tsunami raging out of the pool splashing half of the pool`s contents completely soaking the hunters in chlorine and vampire goo mixed water.

“YYYYYYESSSSS IT`S FINALLY OVER....... IT`S OVER” Shouted Malcolm with extreme excitement in his voice.

“Who woulda known that the smallest of the vamps would make the biggest BANG!” Said Jonny with a giant grin on his face. The stranger then sits next to the other 2 with his feet now dangling into the half empty pool. And says. “You fellas could use a lesson or two about vampire huntin. It aint all stakes and sunshine. There is more to vampires than you ever heard in the comic book. Come with me to my place and I will tech you everything you need to know. And if you`re worthy i will give you all the tools you need to exterminate these slags.” He finished the sentence with a cheeky grin. Malcolm and Jonny`s faces went from happy to petrified almost immediately. The grin clearly exposed a set of teeth sharp as a razor with huge fangs protruding from his the upper jaw.......................

The stranger then says “Haha.... Relax guys. Consider yourselves lucky. I`m on your side”


The end.

Author's Note: 

Hi all. I hope you enjoyed this story. If you would like to discuss any future sequels or encourage me to write the book/ movie script. Please check out this directly related forum post on this site.

Please comment and tell me what you think. I love feedback. :-) Da Rush

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