I’m rather nervously sitting in the green room. It was a brand new game show being shot, it was called rather ominously “Bounce”. I look around and meet eyes with a fellow contestant. She was about 5’11” tall, had enormous boobs, green eyes, and shockingly red hair, not ginger, bright red, she looked about the total opposite of me, I’m 5’4” tall, blonde, and I have a fairly curvy figure, but nothing like hers. She caught me staring and I looked away.
We get a call to go into our dressing rooms, and I wander down the corridor of the studios and find my room. There’s a girl in my dressing room, apparently we need help getting dressed.
“You’ll need help getting dressed.” she smirked at me. She has one of those headsets on so people can bark instructions at you. “Take your clothes off, the suit will cover you up”. I go behind the screen and put on the suit that’s hanging off the rail. It’s weird, feels like rubber. “You’ll need to dust it with the talc, it’ll help slide it on” the assistant said to me. So I do, I talc it up and put it on. It’s quite tight. I push my feet through the legs and pull it up, arms now, and I look over at the zip behind me. So that’s why we need an assistant.
“Can you give me a hand now please?” I say. The assistant pops around the screen and zips up the back of my suit. I go and look at myself in the mirror. The suit is all dusty with talc. I turn around to get a good look, and as I do so the assistant starts spraying the suit with something. “This just gives a good shine, for the TV cameras.” she smiled. Certainly did give a good shine. I’m clad in rubber, shiny black rubber, it clings to me like a second skin. I turn all the way around, looked over my shoulder into the mirror, and see just at the bottom of the zip a set of small snap-on valve connectors.
“Let’s just give it a test” the assistant said, and she snaps a bundle of small hoses to the valves. She’s holding a remote. “Test one, not don’t be alarmed” she said pressing a button on the remote, and she does my boobs inflate slightly. “OK, test 2” she presses another button and my butt inflates slightly. “Test 3, nearly done” and now my legs inflate slightly. “Test 4, no really we are nearly done” and my top and arms inflate very slightly. “OK no leaks, great. Last one” and she pushes the last button and the whole suit inflates slightly. “All done.” I take a quick look in the mirror, I now look like slightly curvier version of myself, glistening in the dim light of the dressing room. She presses another button and I return to normal size. “Diagnostics complete” she says “You’re ready, try not to brush against anything on the way to the studio”. She disconnects the hoses.
She ushers me to the studio floor, I walk in, there’s something that looks like a boxing ring in the middle, bright lights all around and the word “Bounce” overhead in a very bulbous font. Beside the rings are two very large shiny metal tanks bearing the designation “He” and some electronic equipment.
“OK this is rehearsal time, you’re up against Diane to start with, get in the ring” the assistant said, she rolls her eyes and barks “I know, I know, as long as it doesn’t do it this time...” into her headset and wanders off. I look in the ring, there she was, the redhead from the green room. Great. I climb up into the ring. Another assistant hooks up the electronics and the hose to the back of my suit.
“Testing visuals” says the other assistant, and my suit lights up with several blue dots, about an inch in diameter, one on each boob, one on each thigh, one on my bellybutton, one on each shoulder and I look over my shoulder, one on each butt cheek. Diane has the same, only hers are red.
“The game is simple, tap your opponent on the dots, and that part of them will inflate, making it harder to move, tap them on two dots at the same time, their whole suit will inflate. This is a rehearsal, so we’ve dialled down the amount of gas... You guys are ready... Go”. the assistant explains.
GAS?! What gas. Diane charges towards me and lands a tap on my boobs. There’s a whoosh and they blow up about 2 cup sizes. I retaliate and she duck out of the way and taps me on the butt and now whoosh, my butt expands, fantastic. I’m losing already. On the scoreboard it says “2psi vs 0psi”. I take my chance and slap her on the leg dot, fwoomp, both her legs expand slightly, she looks comical. “Your legs look fat...” I say... “Yeah, well you’ve got a big ass” she retorts, slapping me on it again, it inflates more, and yes, looking in the monitor, baby has got back. I growl and grab her boobs, hitting both at once, she looks visibly shocked, as they both inflate two cup sizes and then her suit inflates all over, making her look a bit chubby.
“Who’s fat now!” I shout at her. She bounds over to me, seething. Grabs my boobs hard, and twists. “You are...” she scowls, right in my face. “Don’t, please, don’t twist the suit, you’ll break the connection, they’re not meant to do...” said the assistant as he looked at the electronics readout. I look down, my boobs are blowing up rather fast, they’re approaching the size of a couple of melons. “What have you done?” I say “can you stop it please?” I grab them myself, but that made things worse, now the rest of the suit was inflating. Apparently you’re not supposed to grab yourself either.
I huffed and shifted around slightly, there was a sense of pressure building in my suit against my skin. “This is getting uncomfortable now” I gasp, looking at one of the monitors around the ring I see myself, my legs getting thicker, arms now looking comically sausage like and my belly, well that was rapidly expanding past my boobs, which were also inflating. My attention was distracted suddenly by the realisation that my feet were no longer touching the mat in the ring. Diane smirked at me. “This is hilarious” she said. “It’s not, I’m turning into a balloon!” I cry as a slowly drift upwards, my suit is becoming a ball now, legs and arms getting shorter, and the boobs squishing up into my chin.
“I’m trying everything I can!” said the panicked assistant. Looking up at me. He looked quite small as I bounced against the “Bounce” sign over the ring. The pressure was immense. I looked at the scoreboard. “120psi vs 6psi”. This was just great. I look at the monitor again. I am now a ball with just feet and hands and a head. A big shiny black rubber ball hovering over the ring, now facing upwards thanks to the hose keeping me from drifting any further.
Suddenly the director bursts into the room. “This is great! We’ll have to do this in the show. Fantastic, I love it, can we get some more helium! She needs to go bigger! Get her down from there!”. They yank on the hose to get me down. Thankfully the assistant guy in charge of the technology had figured out the issue and was able to deflate me, eventually. But I would have to do it all again in an hour.