Mr. Globe's Body Inflation Program

or, "How a Bully Made a Balloon Out of Mac"

As Brenda and Mac sat on the beach, a bully ran past them, spraying their faces with sand. "Watch it!" Mac wailed. Then he said to Brenda, "That man is the biggest nuisance on the beach!"

Unfortunately, the bully overheard him and turned around. He grabbed Mac's arm and pulled him to his feet. "Listen, Mac," said the bully, uncannily guessing Mac's name, "I'd slug you a good one, but I'm afraid the wind might blow you away."

His point made, the bully took his leave. Mac whined to Brenda, "Someone ought to teach that bully a lesson!"

Brenda just sneered, "Oh, don't let it bother you, little man!"

At home that night, a frustrated Mac kicked a chair over. "I'm tired of being a 45-pound weakling! I'm going to send away for Mr. Globe's Body Inflation Program (TM)!" And he did, but that took a few weeks, so let's just cut to...

SIX WEEKS LATER

Mac returned to the beach just as the bully was making a play on Brenda. "Are you ready to apologize yet?" Mac asked him.

The bully and Brenda both looked at him with contempt. "You again?" said the bully. "Get lost before I flatten you like a pancake!"

Mac smiled ruefully. "You think you're pretty big, don't you? Well, you're nothing compared to how big I can be! Just look at this!"

And with that somewhat-stilted dialogue behind him, Mac put his Body Inflation Program (TM) into action. He took a deep breath--a really, really deep breath--and his cheeks puffed out as he strained. Then suddenly, to everyone's amazement, Mac's body began to inflate.

His arms, legs, and chest puffed out, swelling in size rapidly like a toy balloon. The bully gaped as Mac grew bigger and bulkier. His midsection rounded out, so that his chubby arms no longer able to reach his navel. Eventually his belly surpassed his chest, making Mac a little rounder in the middle. He now looked like an overstuffed version of himself, plumped up and full of air. He finally exhaled, and his growth slowly stopped.

Brenda and the bully looked at each other. Then the bully said to Mac: "That's it? You blow up like a balloon, and I'm supposed to be intimidated?"

"Well, ..." Mac would have shrugged, but his arms were so stuffed he could barely move them. "I could get a lot bigger, you know! I could get so big, I could roll right over you!"

The bully smirked. "Go for it."

"Um... okay." Mac took another deep breath and puffed himself out more. His arms stuck out at an angle as his round body pushed them up, his torso becoming more spherical. His extremities widened out as they blimped up, but they became smaller in comparison to the rest of his expanding body. He now no longer looked fat, but more like some kind of bizarre inflatable pool toy.

The bully calmly walked up to Mac. With a single swat, he smacked Mac's rounded belly and knocked Mac onto his backside. Brenda shrieked in delight.

Mac kicked his hands and feet, but he lacked the leverage to stand back up. A crowd began to form to get a closer look at the human balloon lying in the sand. The humiliated Mac became irritated. "That does it! I'm going to get really, REALLY big and squash you like a bug!"

And Mac inflated himself again, growing into a huge ball, getting fuller and fuller by the second. But as he was puffing, the bully snatched him up, threw him up into the air, and swatted him like a beach ball. Mac sailed over the crowd before someone else swatted him. And then someone else batted him. Mac just bobbed helplessly about as more and more people joined in the fun, batting him into the air again and again. Mac saw Brenda, clapping at the scene. The bully stood next to her, his arms crossed in smug satisfaction.

"We'll see who's laughing when I show you how big I can get!" Mac shouted, and as he came sailing back down to land on the beach, he started inflating himself again. Like the beach ball he had just imitated, he swelled bigger as he puffed up with air. His body filled out more, swelled bigger, grew larger and larger and larger. Sure enough, Mac swelled so big that he was finally bigger than the bully--and too big to easily play with. People began to back away to make room for his expansion. Satisfied that he could now look down on the bully, Mac stopped and panted from his efforts. "See? I told you I could be bigger than you!"

At that point, Brenda stepped up to him. "Mac, I'm impressed! You really are big! Can you get even bigger?"

Mac had to roll forward a bit to be able to see her. "Well, I could, but I think I've proven my point--!"

"Oh, please?" Brenda batted her eyes at him. "Get bigger? For me?"

Mac probably would have been unmoved, but his thoughts happened to drift toward Brenda's five-star ass. (I'm not kidding: Her butt was speTACular!!) "How big do you want me to get?" he asked.

She looked around, spotting the lifeguard watchtower. "How about bigger than that?" she said, pointing.

"Oh, sure, I can be bigger than that," Mac boasted and puffed up again. He swelled and swelled and swelled until his head higher than the top of the tower--and his body was almost as wide. "How's that?"

Brenda smiled and clapped. "Oh, Mac, that's wonderful! Get bigger!"

"Bigger?!"

Brenda rubbed her hands on his stretched, taut skin. "Yes, bigger! I love this! I love my men big. Really, really big! And this is getting me so hot!"

At this point, Mac stopped thinking about anything else than Brenda's perfect apple of a butt, the kind that every man would want to use as a pillow. "How big this time?"

"Get bigger than a house!"

So Mac puffed and puffed, blowing up as big as a small house.

"Bigger than a blimp!"

He puffed again, growing and growing and growing. He had become enormous, and people began to flee the beach.

"Bigger than a building!"

He puffed and puffed and puffed...and PUFFED!

"Bigger than a mountain!"

He blew and blew and blew and blew...!!

"Bigger than the whole beach!"

He puffed and grew and inflated and inflated and inflated. He swelled so large that people looked like ants to him. He could no longer make out Brenda, though she had moved to the top of a sand dune so he could hear her better. "That's it, Mac! Get bigger! Keep blowing! Get even bigger!"

If Brenda could have seen Mac's face, she would have seen his puffy cheeks turn red from exertion, his breathing labored as he struggled to maintain his size. "I don't think I can get much bigger, Brenda!" he called down to her. "I feel so full, like I'm about to burst!"

"Just one more puff, Mac!" she called up to him. "One more really BIG puff! Do it for me, Mac! Just one more puff!"

Mac probably would have said no, ...but damn, her perfectly sculptured butt was a gift from the gods. So Mac took the biggest, deepest, longest breath he could.

And he got bigger. A LOT bigger.

He swelled higher and farther than he dreamed possible, getting as big as a stadium, and still growing so much bigger--and bigger still! Larger and larger he inflated, inflated, inflated...

And his eyes shot wide open when he realized he couldn't much bigger. But he had taken such a deep breath, he couldn't stop, either. His face grew redder as he swelled ever closer to his limit, unable to stop getting bigger, bigger, BIGGER!

Mac let out a wail: "Ohhhhhh--!!"

KABOOOOOOM!!!!

Pieces of Mac rained from the sky.

"Ooooo!" said half the specatators.

"Ahhhh!" said the other half.

Brenda turned to the bully. "Finally! I thought that loser would never burst! I'm Brenda, by the way."

"I'm Daryl," he said. "And may I say, your ass is bea-YOO-tiful!"

The two linked arms and walked off into the sunset.