If Wishes Were Balloons

The merciless desert sun beat down on the three archeologists, causing their clothes to be drenched in sweat. Although this made the two males, Greg and Ian, look rather like slobs, it had a very different effect on their busty student associate, Stephanie: The sweat merely made her tan skin glisten, her wet clothes clinging tightly to her svelt, shapely body, making her top almost transparent, while her shorts ran up her crotch, showing off her rounded behind. It was the only thing that Greg and Ian had to look at, as their weeks-long search turned up little except beer cans from the 1970's.

So it was a welcome distraction from both the tedium and their unrelenting libidos when Greg finally unearthed a metal object. “Ian! Stephanie! I found something!”

The other two raced over to see that Greg had dug up what appeared to be an old oil lamp. “Big deal,” said Ian. “Maybe we can trade that for, what, half a goat?”

“Let’s clean it up a little,” said Greg, wiping off the layers of centuries-old dirt.

To the astonishment of all concerned, the lamp shone preternaturally bright, with a red beam shooting from its spout. Moments later, a cloud burst forth, which, in a dazzling display too unnecessary to the plot to describe here, eventually formed into a smokin’-hot babe of Arabian descent, wearing a skirt too short to fully cover her backside and an unbuttoned vest that barely covered her nipples. “Greetings, masters, I am Isis, and I am a jini!”

“A genie?!” Ian exclaimed.

“No, a jini, you Western troglodyte,” said Isis. “Nevertheless, for releasing me from my lamp, I grant you three wishes!”

“Three wishes each?” Stephanie asked Isis.

“No, just three wishes.”

“Can we wish for three wishes each?” asked Greg.

“Don’t be a camel’s ass,” said Isis. “You get three wishes, total. And no wishing for world peace. It’d destroy the world’s military-based economies.”

“I wish for--!” Greg began.

“Hey, wait a minute!” said Stephanie. “We get one wish apiece, right?”

Greg looked at Ian and Stephanie and decided not to argue the point. “Okay, fine. But I get the first wish cuz I found it.”

“Ladies first!” said Stephanie.

Greg looked at Stephanie’s wet breasts and decided not to argue the point. “All right, Stephanie, go ahead.”

Stephanie took in a deep breath, sticking out her chest slightly more to do so, and then told Isis: “I wish I had the other guys’ wishes.”

“WHAT?!” Greg and Ian shouted simultaneously.

“So be it,” said Isis. “You have two wishes left, and only the female can make them!”

“You bitch! You total, total bitch!” screamed Greg.

“That was a tad rude, Steph,” said Ian.

“I thought you’d feel that way,” said Stephanie. “So my second wish is: I wish that these two guys would blow up like balloons!”

“WHAT?!” the two men shouted, having perfected sychronized screaming.

But they didn’t have long to complain. With a loud hissing sound, their bodies immediately billowed out, their middles swelling, their chests expanding, breaking through their flimsy T-shirts in moments. Their midsections were completely round, and they continued to grow, taking only moments until the two men now looked like oversized beach balls with hands and feet, their plumping faces showing shock and fear. They surged in growth for several more seconds, doubling in size, tripling in size, in mere minutes.

“Who’s a bitch now, Greg?” Stephanie asked.

“N-not you, th-that’s for sure!” he stuttered. “Now how do we stop?!”

“I guess you don’t,” Stephanie mused. “I never told her when to stop inflating you.”

“WHAT?!” Again the syncronicity.

“I’m not going to waste my third wish making you stop growing,” Stephanie sneered. She turned to Isis. “But don’t worry: I’m sure you’ll stop blowing up soon enough. You’ll stop when you POP!!”

“Hey, wait a minute!” said Ian. “I never called you a bitch!”

“So in other words,” said Stephanie, “you weren’t going to wish for a harem of sex slaves that included me and Isis?”

“Uh, ...”

“Let’s have a contest!” said Stephanie. “Let’s see who bursts first!”

“NO!” It was beginning to get old, so the two simply stopped screaming. They looked helplessly at each other, each seeming to mirror the other’s size, as they increased at the same speed, each blowing up the size of a hot air balloon, and still growing larger and larger...

“Come on!” shouted Stephanie. “Someone pop for me! Blow, Greg! Burst, Ian!”

“St-stop thiiiiiiiiisssss!” Ian said, as the hissing from his body reached a higher and higher pitch, as a sqeaking noise from his balloon body got louder and louder. His growing slowed ever so slightly, allowing Greg to overshadow him, becoming blimp size and beyond.

Ian looked up at the surgin balloon in front of him, and it was the last thing he saw before...

BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!! Ian burst into nothingness.

Greg looked down at the empty space in front of him where Ian had been, and he braced himself for the same fate.

“Yay!” Stephanie shouted, clapping and jumping. “You win, Greg! I knew you could do it!” Then she stopped, craning her neck up at him and watching with anticipation. “Now it’s your turn, big boy! My big, blimping, bloating balloon boy! Get ready to POP!”

Even as he grew farther and farther into the sky, Stephanie’s gloating was still as clear as the hot sweltering day. He heard her shout even as the squeaking from his body grew ominously louder...

“Here it comes, Greg! Are you ready?! Are you ready to BURST?! I love it! I absolutely love it!!”

The squeaking reached a fever pitch and Greg went...

BOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!! The explosion was so great, it echoed in the desert canyons miles away.

“Yay! That was a good one!” Stephanie cheered, clapping. Then she stopped and sighed contentedly.

“You still have one wish, Master,” Isis reminded her.

“Ah, yes,” said Stephanie. “I wish I could inflate anyone, anytime with no negative without ever being punished for it!”

“So be it,” said Isis. “Now don’t bug me for another few centuries, will you?” She turned into a puff of smoke that flew back into the lamp’s spout.

Stephanie tucked the lamp under her arm and headed toward camp, remembering that she wasn’t all that crazy about the rest of her crew...