Big Squeeze, The
(or, "Pressure's On")
WHAP!
The rolled-up newspaper struck the top of Ogden’s head, hard enough to muss his hair. Although not painful, it caused him to jolt upright in his chair, and he spun around to see his “girlfriend”—and he used that term loosely—standing over him with her usual look of contempt.
Simone wore her impossibly tight dress, showing off her curvy bum, while her cut-off blouse exposed her flat, soft belly. Her wavy blond hair draped across her shoulders, surrounding her elegant, oval face that sported big blue eyes, a lightly freckled nose, and full pink lips.
She must be going out, Ogden correctly concluded. She never dressed up that nicely for him, even on their “date nights.” Such nights always involved heavy spending on Ogden’s part, and seldom resulted in physical contact.
“I need $200,” she told him, the implication being that it should be his $200.
“I can’t afford it,” he said honestly.
THWACK! The newspaper struck his head—again, not painful, but enough to make him involuntarily wince. “Shut up, Ogden,” she said, as if telling a dog to sit. “I need $200.”
Knowing from experience that resistance was futile, he pulled out his wallet and counted his last $172 until his next pay cheque. “I only have—”
Simone snatched the wallet from his hands, took out every bill, and tossed the empty wallet back in his lap, as if the thought of accidentally touching him sickened her. “That’ll do.”
She walked toward the door, and Ogden ached as he watched her behind as she walked away, her hips having the sexiest swagger he’d ever seen. He became painfully aware of little she had allowed him to grope that fabulous bum.
She suddenly spun around, forcing him to lift his eyes upward. “And clean this pig sty up before I get back,” she ordered. “I’m not coming back to a hell hole. Otherwise, I’m going to spend the night at my cousin’s.”
He knew what “spend the night at her cousin’s” meant. It meant that she’d find another guy in a pub somewhere and go home with him. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Unfortunately, Simone knew that she could find other men, but Ogden would never find another Simone. This put her in charge of their relationship, and they both knew it. She only stayed as long as Ogden was stupid enough to rack up her enormous debts.
She had him by the balls, and she was putting the squeeze on him.
She opened the door to the flat, but turned around again. “Oh, and I need to charge another $300 to you credit card. And could you make dinner, just in case I decide not to eat out?”
“What do mean, ‘in case’ you decide—?”
“Thanks. Bye.” The door closed, and Simone was already on the internet with her phone, making another purchase with his credit card number.
Ogden gritted his teeth and fumed in impotent rage. How much debt was this woman going to jack up before she finally left him for another man, anyway?
Oh well, he thought, and sighed. At least he was alone now, to deal with the throbbing erection that Simone had left him.
He unzipped his trousers and dropped them around his knees, and began thinking about Simone’s sexy swagger.
Seconds later, he heard keys opening the lock on the door to his flat.
“Bollix!” he shouted, struggling to get his pants on.
He knew exactly who was entering: Diana, his landlord, who felt she had the right to invade his flat anytime she chose.
Ogden stood up, reaching for his trousers, but lost his balance and pitched forward, his bare arse sticking up in the air just as Diana walked in.
“Oh, God! What the hell?!” Diana exclaimed, as if Ogden was publicly mooning her, instead of being caught by a rude harpy who entered other people’s homes without even knocking. “What are you doing?!”
Red-faced from both shame and fury, Ogden scooped himself back into decency. Diana finally made the connection, and she burst out laughing.
The laughter continued well after Ogden had composed himself, and it took several seconds for a teary-eyed Diana to ask, “Don’t you have a girlfriend for that?”
“What do you want?!” he demanded.
Ogden was almost tempted to go ahead and finish the job that Diana had interrupted, because she was also a beautiful—if undeniably amoral and manipulative—woman. Ogden had once heard the word “mastur-hate,” referring to the act of pleasuring oneself to a person whom you simultaneously despised. Diana definitely fit into that category.
But she also had a hypnotically large chest, one that currently stretched her grey blouse to its limits. The dark-skinned brunette was leggy, lean, and tall—so tall that she had a couple inches over Ogden. Just as Diana Prince was Wonder Woman, he privately referred to this Diana as “Wonder Tits.” He couldn’t wait for her to leave—not just because he couldn’t stand her, but because he wanted desperately to check out her ass in the tight blue jeans she wore.
“I need $200,” she told him.
“Join the club,” he shot back, rolling his eyes. Then the full weight of her statement hit him. “Wait, what? What the hell for? I just paid the rent!”
“Well, I’m raising it.”
“You can’t do that!”
“According to the lease you signed, I can,” Diana said imperiously.
He gritted his teeth. He had, in fact, signed more than he intended, as he’d been hypnotised by Diana’s enormous rack at the time. “You can’t get blood from a stone.”
“But I’m still going to squeeze it pretty hard,” she gloated. “Also, your electrical isn’t up to code. I need you to fix that by week’s end.”
“Can I fix it so you can’t turn it off all the time?” he asked, recalling the most recent incident, when she’d shut off his power for having his music turned up too loud. It was on “four.”
“And I need you to re-carpet the hallway floor.”
“Oh come on! So I’m the carpet man?!”
“And re-plaster the bathroom ceiling.”
He spat out an expletive.
She looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. It seemed that she was surprised that he talked back to her, but almost as she had wanted him to, perhaps wanting a reason to evict him. “Just for that,” she said, “you can also clean the gutters around the building.”
“What?!” He cursed again involuntarily, before his hand slapped his mouth shut.
“And now you can fix the cracks in the cement steps,” she told him, smirking. “You want to keep going? Cuz I got plenty more.”
Unable to trust himself not to speak, and knowing that he couldn’t make Diana leave, Ogden bolted from his own flat, racing down the stairs before running out the rear entrance.
He stood on the grass in the open air. He paused to drink in the sunshine, absorb the scenery, and to just…breathe.
He’d recently purchased a book on relaxation and breathing techniques. Simone had joked at the time that Ogden “would need a book to learn how to breathe,” but he’d been practising nonetheless. He needed it to deal with the pressure the two women in his life had been putting on him.
Let’s see if I remember how to do this, he thought. Is it “exhale, inhale”? No, wait.
He closed his eyes, thought happy thoughts—including Simone’s backside and Diana’s chest—and took a deep breath.
He held it for several moments. Then he exhaled.
Already he felt lighter, like a great weight had been removed from him.
Another deep breath. He held it. Exhaled.
Deeeeeep breath. Held it—
He heard a woman’s gasp.
He opened his eyes.
Diana stood there, agape.
And…she was shorter.
Ogden stood and blinked for a moment. She didn’t appear to be standing in a hole, and yet, she was now shorter than he.
That’s when he realised that she wasn’t shorter: He was a few inches taller.
And quite a few inches wider.
He tried to look down at his body, but his chin literally bounced off the top of his chest. His body had somehow plumped up, puffing out like a parade balloon version of himself. He raised his arms, now thicker yet inexplicably lighter, and saw that he had become a literal stuffed shirt. His protruding chest blocked the view of his feet; but by gently rocking, he could tell that they were plumped up, too—including his feet, whose stuffiness had given him those extra inches of height.
Eyes widened to their fullest, Ogden was shocked speechless. He tried blowing out a few times. Puff! Puff! Puff! Nothing. He was still the same height and girth.
Oh my God, I really AM a fuck-up! he thought. I can’t even BREATHE right!
“How. The Hell. Did you DO that?!” Diana uttered meticulously.
Oh, yeah. Diana was still there. Apparently she had followed him outside—that is, of bloody course she did. Now he’d never hear the end of this! He looked even more ridiculous than he felt, and he braced for her mocking, her teasing, her laughter.
But…there was no sound. Just the awe on her face.
Not noticing Ogden’s own amazement, Diana gingerly touched his skin. Ogden inwardly admitted that it felt pretty good. Then she gave his plump arm a pinch.
“You feel like rubber,” Diana said, almost to herself. “Did you mean to do that?”
Ogden’s eyes darted a little. “Um, of course! I just wanted to show you that things are going to be different around here—Shorty!”
Almost—but just almost—imperceptibly, Diana was taken aback. She quickly regained her composure. “Oh, please,” she said, her voice revealing both contempt and trepidation. “You puff yourself up a little and think you’re in charge?”
Ogden smiled. “Oh, no,” he admitted. “But what if I puff myself up a lot?”
Deeeeeeeep breath. Deeeeeeep breath!
The buttons shot off Ogden’s shirt with such rapidity that Diana had to duck for cover. Ogden felt the cool air on his stretching skin as he broke free from the rapidly shredding shirt. His trousers tore at a slightly slower rate, but they too could not hold back his expanding form. Soon his ragged tennis shoes also gave out, his swollen feet bursting the sorry things apart.
None of this mattered to the nearly naked Ogden. What mattered is that Diana was even smaller to him now. He felt larger not only physically but spiritually. He swelled with confidence as much as oxygen.
By the time his breath abated, he was now head and shoulders above the gaping Diana. His midsection was almost completely ball-shaped, held up by his tree-stump-sized legs. His engorged arms stuck out at angles, looking less like appendages and more like cylindrical balloons.
“What’s that, Tiny?!” Ogden shouted down to Diana. “I can’t hear you over how awesome I am!”
Now Diana was getting annoyed. “Don’t over-inflate your ego!” she warned him. “You’ve always been a loser! Now you’re just a bigger loser!”
“Wanna say that to my face?” Ogden asked. “Oh, wait! You can’t! Cuz you’re too short to even reach my face!”
Diana crossed her arms and tilted her head. “Say one more short joke, fat guy. One more.”
Ogden nodded, his bloated neck making a soft, rubbery squeak as he did so. “You’re right. I apologise. You’re not short.”
Then he took yet another loooooong, deep breath. And he inflated even larger.
This time, Diana was forced back a step, as Ogden’s billowing midsection came bloating at her. His stuffy arms and legs grew shorter as his body became more and more spherical. He smirked down at her as he swelled another several meters into the air.
“You are, in fact,” he boasted, “downright miniscule!” Then he did something he had never done before in his life: He laughed victoriously. He’d had so few victories in his life; but here he was, towering over a woman who had only minutes before been crushing the life out of him. He’d never need to feel small around her again.
“That’s it,” Diana said. “Whatever boys can do, girls can do better!”
And then she took several short warm-up breaths, before puffing out her cheeks and blowing.
Fwooomp!
Her already-oversized breasts instantly doubled in size, ripping open her blouse and stretching her bra to its limits.
Diana staggered back a little in surprise, taking in her new super-voluptuous figure.
“Well!” she exclaimed. “That was unexpected!”
“Not what she had in mind, folks!” Ogden joked.
Undeterred, Diana inhaled again. This time, she stuck her thumb in her mouth and blew. She closed her eyes from the strain as her cheeks puffed out to their fullest.
Several tense seconds passed before…
FWOOOMP!
Her belly shot out from under her enormous breasts, surpassing them in circumference in just an instant.
Diana smiled grandly. “Oh, yes.” She beamed up at Ogden, the smile now gone from his face. Then she inhaled again.
This time, her entire body swelled, just like Ogden’s had previously. Her arms and legs puffed up, her midsection ballooned, and she kept eye contact with Ogden as she began to swell…and swell…and swell.
Ogden gulped, his apprehension growing along with the grinning Diana, who kept filling up like a hot-air balloon. He knew her personality: She would not be outdone. He’d be the small one yet again. That thought countered any pleasure he may have had from the sound of Diana tearing through her jeans, revealing only her over-taxed knickers.
Diana’s smile grew closer as she rose higher and higher into the air. Maybe she’ll get so big that she pops, Ogden thought, but he knew that would be too good to be true.
And it was. It took only a few more seconds for Diana to inflate to Ogden’s size…and then she inflated just a little more, once more looking down on her pathetic tenant.
“Now, puny balloon,” she taunted him, “how about doing those gutters?”
Ogden inwardly fumed. He couldn’t go back to be lorded over by her again—he just couldn’t! He was happy for that one brief moment, and she found a way to take even that from him.
So he inhaled again. One deeeeeeep breath.
Anticipating that move, Diana also took a deep breath, and they both inflated even larger.
In seconds, both were now more balloon than human, their midsections now just giant, ever-expanding balls. With every puff, Ogden got bigger; but Diana easily followed, smiling as she easily kept pace with him.
She won’t stop till one of us bursts! Ogden thought. He went to take another breath…and realised that Diana had stopped.
She was looking past Ogden and downward. Unfortunately for Ogden, he no longer had a neck to turn his head, so he could only speculate at what she was looking at.
And that’s when he heard a familiar voice.
“What the hell are you two doing?!”
Simone had come back early, for whatever reason—Perhaps for the sole purpose of watching my humiliation, Ogden theorised. He might have felt shame, if he could feel anything other than the intense, overwhelming air pressure inside of him.
Simone stood there a while, hands on her hips, taking in the scene of her boyfriend inflating with another woman. (Is that cheating? Hard to say.) Both Ogden and Diana looked like weather balloons, each big enough to fill a room. “Is this some freakish kinky thing?!” Simone asked the bloated pair.
Ogden’s and Diana’s eyes met. Diana peered back over at Simone. “Uh, he started it.”
Several tense moments passed as Simone scowled. “Well, I’m going to finish it!”
And then Simone took a deeeeep breath…
Then she stopped.
“Bullshit,” Simone said to herself. “I like this outfit.”
Ogden heard Simone stripping off her clothes behind him, and he winced in frustration at not being able to watch. She removed her tight skirt, unbuttoned her blouse, and dropped them onto the ground next to her high heels. She stood on the grass in only her knickers, her glorious, fit body glimmering in the sunlight. Then she took a deeeeeep breath…
Simone swelled up immediately, her body turning large and balloonish in instants.
Ogden heard the sound of his girlfriend inflating and frowned. Before today, nobody could inflate. Suddenly he learns to do something, and now everybody is doing it, and without even as much practice as he had.
Ogden’s eyes widened again as he watched Simone’s shadow grow and grow. He could tell that Simone had already reached his size. And based on the impressed look on Diana’s face, Simone was quickly surpassing her, as well.
“Now,” Simone called down to the enormous, yet smaller, balloon people, “are we done here?! Cuz I think it’s time for you tiny bitches to do my laundry! They’ve probably got grass stains because of you two!”
“Tiny bitch?” Diana repeated. “I’ll show you who’s a tiny bitch, Bitch!” With that, Diana blew and blew, surging in growth again, matching Simone’s size in seconds.
“Yeah, it’s you!” Simone taunted. She blew herself up even more.
Ogden sat dazed between the two giant, inflating women. This was definitely trouble: Both Simone and Diana had inflated egos, and it was a classic case of “immovable object” meeting “irresistible force.” He couldn’t see their competition even coming to a draw.
The only way it could possibly end is if one of them bursts.
Despite himself, the thought actually made Ogden smile. Whom should he root to pop? The woman who was spending him to death, or the one who was working him to death?
But it soon became clear that Ogden had a more…pressing…problem.
Simone and Diana had inflated to the size of parade balloons—and their bodies began to bump into Ogden. As the highly competitive pair of balloons continued to expand, hurling insults at each other all the while, he realised that being between them was not the safest place to be.
“I’ll watch you burst, bitch!” said Simone. She puffed and puffed.
“When?” asked Diana. “After you blow yourself sky high?” She blew and blew.
Meanwhile, their bodies pressed Ogden from both front and back, increasing the already immense pressure his body was under. The air in his body was being squeezed into his head and lower body, causing him to bulge out dangerously, top and bottom.
“What’s the matter, Diana?” Simone taunted her, slightly breathless. “Are you about to explode?”
“Anytime you want to pop, go ahead!” Diana wheezed.
The women got bigger…and bigger…and bigger, pressing into Ogden, making him bulge out more and more and more, until—
“Enough!” Ogden gasped.
The women turned their eyes downward, as if suddenly remembering Ogden was there.
“You want to see big?!” Ogden asked them. “I mean, you want to see really, really reeeeealy BIG?!”
He opened his mouth as wide as he could, and sucked in air like a vacuum.
His body surged in all directions, giving both Diana and Simone a mighty shove as he pushed through their taut balloon bellies. He grew so big that he forced the two female balloons to slide backward to make room for his expansion.
“How’s this?!” he cried out. “Big enough? No?! Well, I’m just getting started!”
Before the women could regroup, he swelled again, this time with twice the intensity, fueled by frustration and humiliation. He finally matched the women in size, and soon blew past them.
“I’ll be bigger than a house!” he said, before puffing himself up even larger.
Puffffff!
“I’ll be bigger than mountain!”
Puffffff!!
“I’LL BE BIGGER THAN THE WORLD!”
And he swelled and swelled, bloating upward into the sky…until he heard a loud, rubbery squeak emanating from his body.
“Or just as big as this, here,” he said, stopping suddenly. “This is pretty big, too.”
And he was: He was so large he could see over the tops of buildings. Not bigger than the world…but he wasn’t that stupid. His skin was tight that it creaked from the strain, stretched so thin that he was as transparent as a toy balloon. If he’d tried to get bigger, he’d definitely pop. But he didn’t need to get any bigger. Maybe they could get as big as he was; but if he couldn’t get any bigger, they couldn’t, either. Let ‘em try till they pop! At least he’d be done with the both of them.
As if with one mind, the women both smiled evilly.
And then they inflated themselves even more.
At first, Ogden fooled himself into thinking he was safe: They’d reach their limits and stop, or they’d keep going and pop. Either way, he wins.
It was not the first time today he deluded himself, but it looked like the last.
Because Simone and Diana had no difficulty catching up to Ogden’s size, and soon they were both even greater. Because they both had to be the best.
Ogden’s lost all hope and accepted his loss: These women beat him. He couldn’t get any bigger without bursting, and he was so inflated that he couldn’t move, even if the women weren’t once again pinning his body firmly in place. All he could do was watch helplessly as the women got bigger and bigger still. Watch as they smiled down at him, secure in their superiority over him.
He felt the pressure build and build inside him as the two women pushed into him harder and harder. He heard them giggle. He heard his body squeak loudly in protest. His body again bulged out dangerously, this time with no end in sight.
The squeaks grew louder, as did the women’s laughter. And the pressure…so much pressure…continued to build and build and build into an increasingly confined space.
And as their beautiful, sexy round bodies pressed into him, squeezing him tighter and tighter, Ogden just looked into those mountains of swelling flesh, and seeing past them into oblivion…
BOOM!!
Windows rattled for blocks when he burst between the two women, his detonation also causing their giant bodies to bounce and shake. The women shrieked in a combination of surprise and delight.
The sound echoed into the horizon, and a small gap now separated the women where Ogden had been obliterated.
Across the vast span of their circular bodies, their eyes met. Their eyebrows furrowed, but the evil smiles remained in place.
And then they each took another deeeeeeep breath…