Balloon Race

Jim and Nancy compete to see who can be the biggest.

Jim wasn't an old-fashioned guy, particularly, so he didn't mind always getting beaten by a woman. But Nancy had this way of rubbing his face in it. She beat him at chess, at miniature golf, at cards, at darts, at billiards. It was after one especially vexing trivia game that Jim decided he'd had enough. He got up to leave.

"You're such a sore loser," Nancy told him.

"And you're an ungracious winner," Jim told her. "You need someone to knock down your inflated ego."

Nancy scoffed. "Hell, my ego isn't inflated. THIS is inflated!" In what became the most bizarre demonstration Jim ever witnessed, Nancy took a deep breath, puffed up her cheeks and strained. Soon, to Jim's amazement, her belly shot out from her shirt, blown up as if she had suddenly become nine-months pregnant in an instant.

"How the hell did you--?"

"It's called talent," she chided him. "Something you don't have."

Well, that was a challenge if he ever heard one. Jim had never tried to inflate himself before--never thought it possible, either. But he was curious. He followed Nancy's example and swallowed a lot of air, pushing it inside him.

Whoosh! His stomach pumped up and out, stretching his shirt to its fullest. But he didn't stop there. He puffed again, and he swelled even bigger than Nancy had, tearing his shirt and snapping off the button to his pants.

Nancy laughed, realizing that she finally found something Jim was good at. "That's pretty big," she admitted. "But watch this!" She took another deep breath, and soon she was swelling bigger and bigger, her body expanding in every direction until her midsection was nearly spherical. Her clothes also tore, and her arms--now themselves a little chubby--could not get around her exposed, swollen belly. Her dress also tore off at the waist, unable to resist her inflation.

Jim couldn't resist it, either. He had to admit that she looked beautiful all blown up, stretched out like a toy balloon. He thought, somewhat guiltily, that he would like to see her even bigger. And he knew how to goad her into it.

Without thinking, he puffed himself up... and up... and up. His clothes totally shredded, and his body grew rounder like Nancy's. But he kept getting bigger, just to show off. He grew rounder, becoming more ball shaped as his arms and legs seemed to disappear into his globe of a body.

Nancy giggled. "I could just squeeze you like a ball," she told him. "I'd squeeze you till you popped! But I can't reach my arms!" They both laughed, and she blew again. She blew up rounder and fuller, expanding so big that her clothes also tore off, and she even knocked over a nearby table. She swelled and swelled until she, too, looked more like a ball than a person. Soon she was bigger than Jim. "I win!" she declared.

"Not yet," said Jim, and he began to grow again. He puffed and puffed and puffed as Nancy looked on and giggled. He had puffed up so big that she could barely see his head over the vast expanse of his round body, and his hands and feet were almost gone.

"Give it up, Jim. You'll never be THIS big!" She puffed and puffed again, swelling larger and larger, expanding like a balloon until she exceeded even Jim's mammoth size.

A troubling thought hit Jim. "Nancy, maybe we'd better cool it before you pop yourself."

"You mean before YOU pop!" She laughed at the thought. "That would be so typical of you, you know. You always try to beat me, and you always lose. You know you're going to lose this one, too, don't you? I'm bigger than you, better than you, and I always will be! Just admit it--you know you'll pop if you keep trying!"

Jim watched her smile at him for a while before he took another determined breath. He wasn't a born loser, and he was going to prove it. He swelled and swelled, his body creaking ominously from the strain as he struggled to contain the air that was expanding him, filling him, inflating him. He felt so much pressure inside that he worried that he might burst--and Nancy would win after all. But he managed to grow just slightly bigger than Nancy.

But not for long. Giggling, Nancy blew herself up bigger, bigger, and BIGGER! Now just a huge blimp, she was stretched so thin that Jim could see right through her. And she was getting bigger by the second!

Jim couldn't believe it. How big could she get? But certainly he could get that big if she could, right? Right?

He struggled to keep up. There they were, two human balloons, swelling larger and faster, each trying to be bigger than the other. Their bodies swelled so big that they collided into each other and now competed for space to expand in. It was getting awfully snug in the room, as they were close to filling up every open space. But still they puffed and puffed and grew. They inflated and inflated and inflated.

Finally they both stopped for breath. Nancy was giggling at him, as she could see that Jim was really straining from the pressure. He could not hold out much longer, and they both knew it. Jim wondered if maybe Nancy had practiced, and therefore had more stretch in her.

Or maybe she was better than him. Maybe she would beat him once again, and again he'd be humiliated. Or worse, he'd be both humiliated--and popped like a balloon.

Nancy showed signs of strain, too, but she was still laughing. "Come on, Jim!" she goaded him. "I'm still bigger! What's the matter? Are you going to burst?"

(Yes, he thought.) "Look, I'll blow myself up as big as you, and we can let it go before one of us bursts, deal?"

"I've got a better idea," said Nancy, who noticed that Jim was trapped between her and the wall. "I'll blow myself up till you get squeezed so tight that you pop!"

Jim's eyes widened. "You--you wouldn't--?"

Of course she would. She blew and blew and blew, her vast round body pushing him against the wall, pinning him and squeezing him. The pressure multiplied exponentially. He had no way out, no way to escape her inflating figure. He was pinned helplessly against the wall, feeling the pressure build and build and build...

POP!!!!

....................

Jim opened his eyes cautiously. His body lurched somewhat when he heard the pop, because he thought it was from him. But the pressure had eased--somewhat--and he was now looking at only one balloon-ball, and that was himself. Nancy had burst into nothingness.

Jim sat there a moment, processing his victory. Well, it wasn't really a victory: Had he actually tried to get any bigger, he would most certainly have burst. Nancy had, in fact, gotten bigger than he ever could have. But at least she wasn't around to gloat about it. And he knew now that he was safe from exploding. He wasn't going to pop!

Reflexively, he went to breathe a sigh of relief.

He took a deep breath...

!!!!!!!BOOM!!!!!!!