Fwoomp 5: Kaboom

    "FETISH GAS BANNED FROM PUBLIC SALE."
    I was surprised at this article I'd found online. My boyfriend Rob and I and my other boyfriend Elvis had been using inflatium for years to inflate ourselves into various bloated forms for fun and sex. Now the government was banning it from being distributed to the public. Not only could we not get new supplies, we couldn't resell it to our fellow fetishists, who would have to make do with those silly inflatable costumes now.
    Now, I suppose the aesthetic of a person with an inflated body is enough for some people, but after you've done what I've done and lovingly touched and licked and fucked the bloated flesh of an inflated person, there would be no comparision.
    There wasn't a detailed explanation as to why inflatium gas and spray could no longer be distributed. I guessed that maybe it was being seized and reformulated into a helium substitute, which is in short supply. Others claimed it was because the government deemed that it had no beneficial use, which doesn't seem right, because if that was true, why on earth are pickled pig's feet a thing? Maybe the FDA decided it wasn't safe. I guess it could be considered a drug, since it makes the body act in a different way.
    Maybe we had ourselves to blame after blowing up a bunch of people at PrideFest and a cop turning himself into a blimp in a questioning room, but they were okay with it in the end, and he did it to himself.
    "What the fuck do we do?" Rob asked angrily. "I was having so much fun with this and I have gallons of Formula A."
    Formula A was the type of gas or spray (we were out of gas, forever it seemed) that made you float in the air as you inflated. If you were wearing clothes, they'd stretch with you.
    "It's fine," Elvis said. "We just use the stuff sparingly and find other ways to have fun. We've got enough money to keep us set for awhile, so if we're smart, we'll be fine."
    "Why should the government get involved at all?" Rob went on. "Inflatium has never hurt anyone."
    "What about that old guy from PrideFest?" I asked.
    "He was a homophobe, and he landed in a tree, big deal."
    Yeah, about that. It had taken awhile, but that old guy who'd protested us had sued and we'd barely gotten off with a self-defense claim. But that had raised the awareness of Inflatium from something practicing fetishists used to some strange substance people were aware of.
    "It's probably just being regulated," I went on. "The ban's probably temporary."
    "Yeah," Rob replied, "and the bans on marijuana are just probably temporary as well."
    "Well—" Elvis began, but Rob shot him a look.
    "We should protest!" Rob declared.
    "Look, Rob," I said, "I understand why you're upset, but we should make inquiries before doing anything rash."
    "Rash?" he shouted. "They took away our business with this!"
    "Look," I said, "we should try to work with the government on this instead of just fighting them. We've done lots of tests and experiments and we can—"
    "We can get them to laugh in our face!" he went on. "I'm going to Maryland to let them know what's going on! And you can come or stay!"
    Sometimes I wish I'd gone with Rob to Maryland. That was the last time I ever saw him: the day our once happy quartet had finally dwindled down to a pair: just me and Elvis. Elvis' ex-boyfriend Justin had once been a part of our group, but he'd left us during a vacation and had become involved with another man. We were still friends, but no longer together. I realize why Justin had left now, and what he'd recognized.
    Rob was manipulative, ready to use other people. I felt silly when I realized this. The first time I'd met him, he'd turned me into a balloon against my will. I wanted a man to share my life with, and when I had three, it was incredible how we'd made it work. But Rob saw us more as his guinea pigs and balloon sluts.
    After Justin had left, the relationship between the rest of us became a little clearer. I decided to focus my energies on my two remaining partners, but as Elvis and I grew closer, Rob pulled away. He suggested we get more guys in, and he'd try to check out guys wherever he went, asking us what we thought guys would look like inflated.
    As I said, I didn't go to Maryland with Rob, and he seemed fine. He could take the car and fill up the seats with the rest of his liquid inflatium for sprays. Elvis and I kissed him goodbye and he drove off. From what we gathered from witnesses and other sources, here's what I believe happened to Rob:
    He got into the FDA headquarters by using the spray bottles. If a security guard stopped him, he'd quickly spray them with his bottles. In a few seconds, the guard would be swelling up into a perfect sphere and floating into the air, or filling up the room if they were still inside.
    Finally, he found the guy who'd taken the inflatium case, Nathan Burkoff. Forcing  Nathan into the courtyard of the headquarters, Rob sprayed him with a spray and in seconds, his belly inflated, he grew fatter and his face and head swelled. In a minute, Nathan was floating three feet off the air, a 10 foot high round ball with a large lump for a head with swollen hands and feet.
    "This is what inflatium does!" Rob declared. "We are beautiful and we are sexy! And we can get bigger!"
    I'm not sure how, but Rob had found a couple assistants who then proceeded to take the rest of the inflatium liquid he had and dousing him with it over and over. Rob's body expanded to inhuman proportions as he lost all definition to his body, just becoming a huge, huge balloon of expanding flesh with a face and hair on it. His clothes had torn off within seconds.
    Rob filled up the courtyard, pressing everyone to the ground. Nathan Burkoff was squeezed and his body forced out the gas.
    But Rob kept growing. He was soon larger than the entire campus and began to lift in the air, but he kept getting more and more massive and soon he blotted out the sun over the two counties. But yet he kept growing and rising into the air.
    And finally, we discovered that there was a limit to how much inflatium you could take. With a huge rumbling like thunder, Rob's body ruptured and flew in all directions.
    And that was how he died.
    Elvis and I attended the memorial service. We heard how Rob had always been a wistful kid and had often kept to himself. It seemed strange that he died by making the biggest spectacle anyone had ever seen around the FDA.
    Elvis and I have stayed together. I realized I just liked being with him and that we enriched each other's lives now that inflation was out of the way. We took the time and just decided to live like an ordinary, everyday gay couple. We aren't opposed to having an open relationship, but we decided to just keep it to the two of us for now.
    As it turned out, our break from inflation was temporary. The FDA eventually classed inflatium as a generally non-harmful drug. They allowed the spray (or "mist" as they classed it) to be distributed to the public with a specific usage limit and stipulated that it must be used with a license and only in a controlled environment.
    What this meant is that Elvis and I and a few of our old customers set up an inflation house we called Balloon Animals where people could inflate for or with their friends or partners. Elvis and I are only investors, we do not own or run the place, but we do go in for a mist sometimes. Elvis is a beautiful man, inflated or not, and he says he loves me either way, and so we're fine with each other.
    Still, I really wish Rob had embraced us instead of obsessing over his fetish. If he'd realized he was enjoying those he loved as he inflated us, maybe he would have had more fun or still even be alive today.
    So long, balloon boy.