How would you inflate me, if you had the chance

Im wondering how you would inflate me if you got the chance to, would it be water hose, helium tank... 

Bubblez101

I'd grab a long thick hose and connect it to the fauset in the nearby bathroom or kitchen. It'd be a hot-cold one-hole fauset so I can easily manipulate the heat of the water. I'd get you to settle down on an armed chair and I'd pop the hose into your mouth, securing it with rounds and rounds of duct tape. I'd give it a tug to make sure it's secure and run to turn on the fauset slowly at first, enough for you to easily swallow. With every gulp, your belly slightly bulges out even more and more until your midriff begins to peak out from below your t-shirt. Your belly would be the size of a basketball now and, quickly, I'd run to increase the speed of the water flow. Your cheeks suddenly puff out and your belly jumps out forwards as your gulping becomes louder and faster. The button on your jeans can no longer hold and it shoots across the room. I place a hand on your bare belly, a growing bump easily resembling a pregnant belly home to a full-term baby. Your belly's warm from the water and I gently grab your arm to pull you up. This is a difficult task, you'd collapse forwards without the help of my support, your belly sways side to side and jiggles from the all the crammed water inside. You're still getting bigger, still swallowing that water, but your belly's beginning to protest. As it stretches, it produces loud prolonged groans, rumbles and squeaks. You feel full and begin to doubt your robustness, you start to fear the potential detonation as I tug your now bigger frame. You're like a huge exercise ball with limbs and a head. I try to push you through the door to the bedroom but you're too big! I force my weight against your back, your scarlet abdomen now straining against the wood of the doorframes. Something's wrong, each bump against the door causes your huge tummy to groan loudly. You need to stop swallowing the water but your cheeks get larger and larger until you feel they're about to explode! You swallow the water eventually and I soon give up. I disappear though and you clutch onto the walls with your fingernails but you're too heavy, your belly is entirely bulbous and you appear to be having twins now. So you collapse backwards and smash into the ground. You run your hands against your bloating belly, feeling tired as you listen to the flow of the water... which gets faster and you struggle to swallow more water. Your belly doesn't grow as fast, you're a total blimp and almost the same size as Violet's belly from the original musical for Willy and the Chocolate Factory. You feel something prodding your thin skin. It's me, I'm feeling how much room you have. I grin and start to rock you, you moan for me to stop as the building pressure inside your belly becomes too great. Your stomach ripples and pulsates, it groans and rumbles louder and louder. You hear the stitchings of your stetched t-shirt and jeans rip. The inflation slows but yet you continue to get bigger and bigger and bigger... Suddenly, the water stops and your belly freezes. It's creaking. I've yet again disappeared to turn off the fauset. To your horror, I begin pushing into your watertight abdomen and start to rattle your big belly around. The internal pressure begins to build again, you don't know if you can take it! I lean forward on top of you.