I know this might be off topic but do you guys know the best and easiest way to swallow a water hose
Billboards and Balloons
Laying atop the bookshelf by the door, Victoria's cat rested peacefully in her apartment. His owner out on a date, he was enjoying a quiet afternoon.
At least he had been.
The door suddenly flung open angrily, it sent shivers through the house as Victoria smashed it shut. "The nerve of that guy! Staring at that billboard like that!"
His owner wearing a tight red skirt and a matching top, the cat swipes a frustrated paw at the edge of her outfit as she storms past him and into the center of the living room. His nap now ruined, he stretches as she paces back and forth.
"I just can't believe the nerve of some guys. We're on a date and he keeps ogling it out the corner of his eye the ENTIRE time! He actually thought I would be too stupid to notice!"
The offending billboard being for a new push up bra, its advertisers had chosen a woman who didn't need the extra "oomph" to begin with. Cramming her large, tan udders into the straining cups, the bra had done its job almost too well. Causing a few fender benders after it had first been installed, it had gotten the ad agency quite a nice bonus as sales for the bra skyrocketed. Tonight however, it had cost Victoria's date a good slap as his eyes wandered just a few times too many for her liking. Now staring down her tight top to her own respectable chest, she had felt wanting.
Used to being the center of attention, she did not wear jealousy well.
Grabbing her hefty double D's, her former pride and joys bounce beneath her tight top. "I'll show them! I'm going to pump my babies up bigger than he's ever seen! They'll be putting me up on a billboard! Hell, I'm going to be BIGGER than that stupid billboard!" His owner stomping into the bedroom, the cat can hear her muffled rant through the door. After a few minutes though, the room suddenly goes quiet.
Rolling his eyes, the cat turns the other way on the bookshelf. Purring softly into his arm, he's relieved that his vain owner has stopped carrying on. His eyes slowly beginning to shut, he begins to nod off to sleep until...
The sound making him jump out of his nap, he quickly turns around to see his owner rubbing her chest again in the living room. His anger at being woken again being replaced by curiosity, something was...different. This time she has a peculiar grin on her face and...a few more inches to her bust?
Seeing that his owner is holding a bicycle pump, the cat follows the hose up to his owners trim tummy. The nozzle fastened in below her bizarre looking belly button ring, he's very confused as to why she's suddenly so giddy.
"I'll show them..." she hisses to herself. Raising the end of the pump, she chuckles before pressing the handle down with a determined grin.
His eyes shooting open, he watches as his masters already ample cleavage seems to deepen. The woman's prized orbs squeezing out of her shirt, that pump somehow added a full cup size to her bust! Shaking them back and forth, the air keeps them buoyant and perky despite their new size.
"What do you think kitty? You think this is big enough to keep his eyes where they belong? On me!"
Giving two more deep pumps, the stitches to her top slowly tear. Threads popping one by one, more and more milky flesh oozes through the gaps as it fails. The last bit of air reaching her chest, her shirt and bra falls to the floor with one last, satisfying RIP! Her bare breast now the size of basketballs, they squeak like balloons as she lovingly squeezes them to her chest. Grabbing the nozzle again with a mad twinkle in her eye, she begins pumping...and pumping...and pumping...
"Oh god yes! So big and round! No one will be able to resist!"
They'll throw that stupid cow off of that billboard and beg me to go up in her place!"
"Hell, I'm gonna be so big they won't even need a billboard!"
They'll ask me to *FWIIIP* stand up there and *FWIIIP* display my balloons to the WORLD!"
Wincing slightly at that last pump, she looks down at her prized orbs. Her cat watching the pneumatic scene unfold, he takes a few nervous steps backward. Barely able to see over her massive blimps, they look like two beach balls fighting for room on her chest. Wobbling turgidly in front of her, the swollen flesh has lost much of its milky color. Replaced by an alarming shade of pink, they look like overinflated balloons ready to BURST!
Sweat starting to bead on her forehead, he can tell that the same thought has just crossed her mind as she struggles to contain all of her air. The handle on the pump pulled up however, she can't just leave that last delicious rush of air in the pump!
"Ooof...just...just a bit more. I'm...I'm sure my babies can take it. Right?" She looks to her cat for some kind of confirmation. A mix of excitement and strain on her face, he wants to tell her to stop! He wants to scream for her to pull the nozzle loose as quick as she can, before another ounce of air is forced into her straining rack!
All that comes out is a soft "Meow"
Sadly, the overinflated brunette misinterprets this as a yes.
Pressing the plunger down with all her weight, it slowly forces air through the hose and into her breasts. Groaning in pleasure at first, as the nozzle moves lower her expression slowly turns to fear as a very loud groan echoes through the room. Stretch marks crisscrossing her straining blimps she looks up and manages a frightened "EEEK!" before...