Acceptance and emptiness

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Acceptance and emptiness


I just thought I'd gather the thoughts of some others on a topic I have been thinking about. Often we are at odds with how much of our public face we are willing to share with others, I think for many of us we have our "normal" selves, and we have our alter egos. Having this divide is fine, as we fear ridicule, potential slander and even creepers who perhaps out of desperation would attach themselves to our private lives.


After recently attending a fetish-con and browsing fetlife even I felt outside of groups with alternative sexuality. Is it more socially acceptable to beat the shit out of each other/drink piss/wear diapers/needle play than be into transformation? Many of these people show their face in public and are not too worried about consequences, it seems to be a part of accepting who they are. Are we afraid of embracing ourselves? Should we embrace ourselves? I for one don't ever want to risk being the "balloon guy" at work!


This fetish is so obscure and strange, maybe because it remains mostly in the realms of impossibility it becomes hard for anyone outside of it to understand. I have often stated that that kink is only as much a part of your life as you let it, but it certainly seems to be a big part of some of our lives. I certainly think about kinks all the time though I know they are hedonistic desires which can only be in part be fulfilled.



Often we attribute parts of our inflation fetish to early triggers which create bizarre links in our brain, but they seem to persist beyond reason. Is that because we have found a support group and echo chamber online? That I don't know but even a wacky dream can be disseminated and have meaning.

I believe that among some of us, we feel as empty vessels.

That is not necessarily as negative a thing as it sounds. Do we wish to be satisfy a biological urge to fill ourselves or another with life and love? Are we bereft of being filled with the light of god or another spirituality? Do we wish to transform ourselves? Some of us, however we may view it, even fetishize total disintegration of the body. A sort of emptying of the ego maybe? Buddhism, Christianity and even contemporary psychology do have some interesting views on emptiness.


Forgive the spewing of my fragmented thoughts, but in the spirit of sharing, I thought I'd post. If I have the coherence of a mad rambling hobo then please, tell me! But maybe there is something there for another to pick and digest.


Peace out,





I think that, if you take the fetish as metaphor, then it makes sense.

And I think that some people might accept the metaphor, if it's worded or drawn in a way they can accept.

Blueberry transformation is essentially a celebration of fertility, right? But really, fertility in a deep and primitive form. This is not the crimson cheeked Pomona, Roman goddess of fruit. This is a raw and almost obscene ritual where the body is distended to it's very limits. It starts with one small almost innocuous action and it grows into something that totally transforms the human body from its normal state forever. It's one of the Id's descriptions of how sex and pregnancy works. The same can also be said much more directly of cumflation. I think these are fantastical mental forms that we use to describe abstract ideas in a concrete way.

But blueberries are mainly a female aspect. I would say that at least one male aspect is tied to display. The frigatebird and the frog are the natural embodiment of this, puffing themselves up to attract females. It's the Id's description of how dating works. You puff yourself up so that you have a bit of confidence in yourself, and you puff yourself up even more around an attractive woman especially if she starts to pay attention to you. Sometimes it works, but often she sticks out one long sharp fingernail and it's game over for you. Even more direct would be thoughts around blowjobs. But you already know that. I will say that I was once struck by a documentary on looners where one of the girls explained that she adopted it because it was her boyfriend's fetish. Much to his chagrin, she began to fantasize about blowing him up. I hope they're still together.

I think these sexual fantasies represent in some way aspects of the most basic parts of human nature. I think these things are coming to the surface now because they've been attacked within the wider culture. I think fertility has been cut down culturally within the US and Western Europe. The families that have more than five kids are portrayed as weirdos by a media system that can barely even understand the concept. I think in it's sensual love of fertility, blueberry inflation is strangely enough a dissenting voice.

I don't think it's a stretch to say that the current dating scene has a direct effect on our sexual fantasies. In some cases I feel like the old rules, whatever they were, are almost out and no one can really agree on new ones. I think our social landscape with regard to dating is like some strange mix of leftover Victorian ruins, massive but incomplete concrete pylons labeled "feminism" and a shopping mall. None of these are organic forms capable of supporting life anymore than one can live under a freeway overpass.

I see the rise of sexual fantasies as an outpouring of the Id in reaction to the current situation where in many cases the Ego and Superego are flummoxed. People are reaching inside and putting to paper all the wild things of their imagination. There are of course both tremendous benefits and consequences to this.

My advice is to study the archetypes, to better navigate the chaos of the collective unconscious. I'll give you an example.

We've all seen the Venus of Willendorf. It's over 20,000 years old but it is still detailed enough in just the right places to to get modern people going, even if we don't know the artist or what it meant to that society. As far as we know, the human brain's architecture has not changed and pregnancy is the same the world over. Over ten thousand years later, a similar statue crops up in Asia Minor as the Seated Woman of Çatalhöyük. That form of a chubby woman had persisted for thousands of years. And she persisted for thousands more, eventually sliming down and becoming the Phrygian goddess Cybele, known to the Romans as Magna Mater, the Great Mother. Her aspects, as well as those of all Greco-Roman goddesses in general, were taken over largely by Mary. But Marian worship was explicitly sidelined in Protestant societies precisely because it was a holdover of older pre-Christian traditions. Now those societies are struggling because their secular institutions have no links to the deep myths that relate key truths regarding human nature.

My prediction for the future is that things will get a whole lot weirder. You might find that being the balloon guy is actually rather boring compared to what your coworkers are up to.

SvenS's picture

That is a very thoughtful, insightful response.


Wow,  (:


I have heard an interesting theory about the Venus of Willendorf- that it could be a form of early medicine rather than an idol, perhaps made by a woman in order to understand the process of pregnancy. I am really glad that you brought up the archtypes, as it certainly has been something I have been trying to associate with this sexual idea in the last few days.

I think I am also trying to understand whether sexuality and kink are two completely seperate things. I have grown up in a society that has come to accept homosexuality in general, and I've come to probably identify as demisexual. But there certainly is a strange fantasy going on in my head whenever I get a little bored in the bedroom and being able to make believe is a big part of what I seek in a partner.


Thank you so much for the well written and thoughtful reply! It is certainly something for me to think about further and much more than I was hoping for. I'd really be interested in reading anything else you happen to write.


I've never looked for wide acceptance.  Honestly, I still remember stumbling upon inflate123 back in the nineties and being so thoroughly shocked that anyone else shared such interests. 

I will say however that I too wonder why some other kinks are seen as more acceptable or "normal," when they seem far weirder or more objectionable to me.

blueberryjuicer's picture

I like this topic, but I am too tired to reply as my mind is also in fragments due to external, non-fetish things.

However, I will give you an answer you seek or may not seek at all:

A fetish is only as acceptable as it's performers will it to be. In order to fully make it something as widely known and acceptable as the others (in the concept of taboo, and make it not taboo to those in taboo) we must, ourselves, embrace its oddity, and view it in absurdity.

I for one have taken the blueberry portion and ran with it, making the entire fetish a concept with many many faces and many, many outcomes. I desire to break it apart and piece it together, much like how we must.

I'd elaborate, but I'm really fucked up right now.

Berries are always sweet, no matter how sour they act, they'll always make the best juice.

Equation for juice filling: Volume/Quantity=[(Diameter*Circum

Margeret Moonlught
Margeret Moonlught's picture

Well, Since we're sharing..

I've recently sorta made the conclusion that part of the reason I have this kink was due to the abundance of goddess imagery in my developmental years, And also like literally all of my life. That and also the fact that I've seen a shitload of preggo ladies in my brief time on the honestly mediocre planet that is earth. 

For those of you who aren't aware of what goddess imagery is, I don't blame you, It's oddly out of the public eye, But she was (at least according to my pseudo pagan-feminist upbringing) commonly depicted as a fat lady, Or 'curvy as shit' if you prefer. Maybe I somehow internalized that this is what beautiful should be, And that mixed with my natural tendency to really get into things, Like my undying devotion to the Godzilla series except more subconscious. Idk, Just food for thought I guess. Probably shouldn't be writing this stoned, but, oh well -3-’s very own metamorphic incomprehensible memetic fractal entity 

Pennsylvania Ki...
Pennsylvania Kite Weather's picture

The one thing that will always slow down inflation from being naturalized into the list of common fetishes is simply how impossible it is to replicate it in reality, on top of it being rather dangerous to attempt. In the examples of the wider embraced fetishes in the original post, it’s possibly that just the aspects associated with them are “encountered” more in everyday life; it’s still the rather gross utilization of them, but they’re undoubtedly more familar than say, balloons, air compressors and pumps, as much of a stretch it might be.

However, I think the internet is playing an ever-increasing role in exposing people to the unorthodox stuff out there. Upcoming generations who basically discover any type of taboo fetish that intrigues them also will often find a small community to naturalize it. Whether that’ll translate to openness in the real world I can’t entirely say, but we do have the recent example of SizeCon... When teens and kids of today become adults I think they will definitely be equipped with at least knowledge of sexual deviancy. It won’t blow the doors off but probably rattle the hinges of vanilla and all its tamer associated kinks. I guess what I’m ultimately hoping for is that there’ll be kind of a pursuit to learn where the hell these brands of fetishists are coming from, exploring the psychology of the individual and the sociology of their (online) environment; if the complexity of these fetishes gradually get respected, I think the strangeness of it all has to go down at some point. But it’ll take decades.

Xythryx's picture

Be that it may be, I have found this fetish is considered the "odd" one and the "stand" out one when it compares to many other fetishes out there. But when you look at society now on giving women breast implants, or butt implants and such, inflation is in fact there. Its just when it is put into out of the ordinary scenarios like the person filling up all over and becoming bigger and rounder that its actually considered weird. That and when you tell people about your fetishes, some see it as just weird when you tell them.


I will admit, I told two people I know about my fetish, and they seemed to not take it so oddly, but they said anybody else would find me freaky. I've seen others get pulverized and such for being open so I alone as well tended to stay hidden. Now that I think about it though, being so long ago, I have no shame in showing who I am to others now. I mean the stalking part yeah I can get that, especially when it comes to personal lives but other than that I am comfortable. 

NameTaken's picture

I like inflation because my "this is sexy" synapse connected way too close to my "this is a belly" synapse.

Blimp Boy
Blimp Boy's picture

I’m surprised we started getting so philosophical about this stuff!

Check out our YouTube channel for Inflation Audio books and comic dubs.

airtankgirl5's picture

Never underestimate how much people like hearing themselves talk.  Myself included.


Basic desire for everyone; to be known and to be loved. That’s why we look for acceptance, we desire other people to know us intimately and to love us. 

airtankgirl5's picture

Pish, I don't.



"Never underestimate how much people like hearing themselves talk.  Myself included."

Correct.  Also, never underestimate the power of human stupidity.


Now, just to throw a wrench in the works here.  For a number of years now I have been wanting to goto a psychologist (psychaitrist?) who specializes in fetishes/sexual deviancy etc.  I know these exist, I just haven't taken the time to sit down an find one.  Plus, I am pretty sure my health insurance won't cover it, so I would need to save up.  BUT, I want to mention up front that I want to do this simply out of curiosity...I have no desire to be "cured".  There are two main things I am looking for from such a "therapy session".  1. The look/change of the face of said therapist when I finsh explaining the fetish and my specific fantasies (I should point out that I would love to find both a male AND a female to see the diference in reaction as well).  2. I honestly want to know what modern head-shrinkers have to say about this fetish after having a "patient" with a fetish for fantasy  body inflation, plus I'm curious to see if they prescribe me any meds.  Wont that be fun!

I mean, I'm 40 now (cringe) and only once in my whole life have I ever been ashamed of having a thing for this fetish and that was before I got on the internet and found the rest of you perverts (Question: If you are into a perversion long enough, are you then a pro-vert?).  To give a more detailed account of this time, I was 14 or 15 and had just discovered that I liked girls.  Now I had become interested in this fetish about a year or so before, 12 or 13, when I saw some very early comic art out of Playboy and Hustler where women were drawn with very large boobs and or butts...this plus the movies Willy Wonka and Repossessed sort of lead my down the path of the INFLATION SIDE. 

In addition, one of my step brothers had found my stash of porn, which included several stories I had typed up (on an electric typewriter!) and some very crappy drawings.  He showed them to a couple of the neighborhood kids we all hung out with and it was several months before I stopped hearing about it.  Simply put, I was afraid that if any girl ever found out about it, my life at school would go from just being generally picked on (I was NOT poppular...I was the punching bag) to being publically humiliated again and again.  So, that same day my step brother and 2 other kids started laughing at me and making jokes I gathered up my entire stash and threw it all out.  Or I thought I had, the spiral notebook containing Mona and Distended Rivalry ended up in my D&D/Rifts stuff...go figure.

I spent about 4 months not thinking about inflation anything.  Then my father bought a 14.4k external modem (for the younger crowd, that is what we used to log onto the internet with...and it was FREE!) and he showed my how to use Luycos (spelling?) search engine (Again, 25 and younger that was Google back then) and for 30 minutes he showed me how to search for different stuff; military aircraft, muscle cars, music (that you could not download or listen to!) etc.  He then had to goto work for the afternoon...leaving me 100% alone in the house....with the age of 15.  I immediately search for "big boobs" and got back over 350,000 hits. 

Now, during the next couple hours I came across the than zygote version of this very website, and 3 artists/comrades that I will never forget to this day; LVKane (obviously), Svengali (captioned & photoshopped pix!), and Inflate123 (those stories!).

I just realized I have officially gone off topic from this thread I think. Meh.

To wrap this up, I realized I was not alone at this point and got back into things...well, lurking online anyways.  I did not tell anyone else about my fetish until I was 17 and that was a very very very close female friend of mine.  It took me about 4 or 5 years to stop hiding it at all.  I have never bothered splitting up my email accounts for fetish life and non-fetish life, I have only one Facebook account (and before that Myspace).  I'm pretty sure I've used my actual photo for my avatar on several inflation related accounts...though not here for some reason, must fix that.  My wife (and my last dozen or so girlfriends) knows about it, as do a number of my clase friends.  Heck, I went ahead and explained to my own mother several years back after my wife asked her about it...which did get a bit awkward I admit.

Last bit.  I am not saying we should all come out of the shadows or anything.  Some of us like our anonymity (spelling?).  Which is perfectly fine.  I mainly came out to see if I could, just possibly, find a woman who was also into the fetish...then promptly get married to her.  Things did not work out that way, but I am happy with my life, both day to day wise & fetish wise.



PS: And THAT airtankgirl5 is, I think, the definition of someone who likes to hear themselves talk! :D  Cheers!

Fairia's picture

I do philosophical/spiritual embarkments on my fetish pretty much all the time. It is nice to hear others also take a different look at this wacky kink of ours.

skype: reimeioh1


I have managed to tell a few people - some people - actually, in hindsight, an unreasonably large amount of people - from friends and partners to the therapist, and I've had the hardest time every time explaining it. Just about any fetish seems less embarrassing. One of the more minor hurdles in my mind is, you can put a cool twist on a lot of them if you work at it. Furries can be cool. I bet you could even make shit cool. But inflation, at least in its more generic/general(main?!?) forms, is "so like that cartoon?" I really have trouble embracing it.

I've never associated my fetish with themes of emptiness or fertility. More with inertia, inability to do anything, and perpetual inflation that probably fits easily into a metaphor of never achieving orgasm. Frankly I thought there would be more asexual people here way back when, because I assumed most would have fantasies very incredibly similar to mine, hinging on all the same themes. (Maybe I was also thinking inflation + fiction from childhood + asexuality as childishness (which I ain't sayin' is accurate).) I think it's interesting that all these gross nasty weird fetishes get so 'individualized,' so to speak.

airtankgirl5's picture

Furries can't be cool.  Fecal fanciers can't be cool.  I'm pretty confident that there is no such thing as a "cool" fetish.  "Cool" implies longing, that others would want to have that fetish because it's cool.  I don't think people choose their fetishes based on what is cool...its what gets their jollies off.