Heart-Warming Christmas Story, A

or, "All I Want for Christmas Is to Be Blown Up"

Johnny awoke at 2 a.m. on Christmas morn, too excited to sleep. He tip-toed past his parents' bedroom before racing down the steps to the darkened living room, only slightly illuminated by the lights on the tree. His heart pounding, he tore open all his presents. He got video games, candy, action figures (not dolls, of course--they're action figures), and even a new bike. Overall, it was the biggest holiday bash he'd received.

He slumped in a chair with disappointment.

Once again, Santa had ignored his entreaties. How many letters to Santa does he have to write? He'd been good all year. How could Santa treat him like this?

Then he noticed a small, wrapped box on the mantelpiece. Had that been there before? He looked at the note, which was addressed to him from Santa. The handwriting was different, but he barely noticed. He unwrapped the box and opened it.

A glowing gold beam radiated from the box. Strangely, although the beam blinded him, it was not painful. His jaw dropped as he became immersed in the glow. His whole body felt weird, like he was ... shrinking?

Then darkness.

It was dark and quiet for an interminable period. He couldn't speak, couldn't move. Yet he felt strangely at peace.

Then all at once, it seemed like the roof shot off the house, and bright light shone in on him. Then he saw a face he knew: It was Angela, a girl he knew from school. But she was a giant! She had to be fifty feet tall! Her voice, chirpy and ecstatic, boomed like thunder:

"Oh, wow! A balloon!" She reached down with her gigantic hand and picked Johnny up. As she lifted him out of the box, he finally realized what had happened: Santa granted him his ultimate wish! He had become Angela's balloon!

He wasn't sure how he could see Angela or her living room. Presumably, he did not have eyes any longer, but was conscious of everything around him. This included being able to see not only Angela's beaming face, but the confused look of her parents. Her mother turned to her father and seemed to mouth the words, "Did you get her that?" He shook his head, equally puzzled.

All his questions were forgotten as Angela put her lips around his opening. Then her warm breath slammed into him, first making him firm, then causing him to swell rapidly bigger. Even at this early stage, the pressure that resulted from his forced expansion was intense and--while he didn't have the words to express it--felt not unlike a constant orgasm. She blew him up bigger, then bigger still. If balloons could smile, Johnny was certainly smiling.

Angela stopped to catch her breath and admire her handiwork. "Wow! This balloon is big already, and I'm just getting started!" She blew into Johnny again, and he expanded further, enjoying every moment as he got fuller and fuller with every puff. The strain on his elasticity increased exponentially as he swelled and swelled. Although he couldn't see how big he was getting, he could feel it. And he was getting really big.

Angela paused again. "This is going to be the biggest balloon ever!" she exclaimed excitedly, rubbing her hands over Johnny, which to his rubber skin felt deeply sensual. Then she blew him up again. His rate of growth slowed, so she blew even harder. He stretched out bigger, becoming more and more transparent.

"I love balloons so much!" Angela declared, and gave Johnny a bear hug. She squeezed him to her chest, and the pressure was unbearable. Johnny was sure he would burst!

"I'll be in the kitchen," said Angela's father, who hated loud noises.

Angela mercifully released him. But soon she was blowing him up again, inflating him larger and larger. Her breaths kept coming, relentlessly. He expanded bigger than he thought he could get--and was still getting bigger. And bigger. And bigger still.

"Why don't you open some of your other presents?" Angela's mother asked, anticipating a future mess.

NO!, Johnny thought. But he needn't have worried. Angela totally ignored her mother and went back to blowing Johnny up. If anything, she was more determined than ever to make Johnny bigger, as she took deeper breaths and puffed him up with almost religious dedication. He knew that by now he was huge! But she still made him bigger, still inflated him larger, still blew him up more. He was vaguely aware that he was probably almost as big as Angela.

"Look at how big it is!" Angela said proudly. "I'm going to make it even bigger!"

"Honey, you're going to pop it," her mother warned.

To no avail. "I'm going to make it bigger!" she insisted, and she did. Johnny grew and grew and grew. He bobbed helplessly around in the air as she filled him up every part of him. There was little room left for more air. Angela was struggling to keep the air inside him, as the mouthpiece got smaller and smaller. But still she blew, determined to make Johnny bigger. She kept blowing and blowing and blowing.

Johnny knew from the strain--and even from his very size--that he could not get any bigger. He was stretched to the fullest, on the verge of bursting. Angela must have known it too. And yet ....

She took one more breath. A long, deep breath. And then she blew into him.

The best Christmas ever, thought Johnny, just before...