No Need for a Blimp!

It all started innocently enough.

“Tenchi’s home!” Sasami called out to the rest of the house, “Welcome home, Tenchi.”  The sweet young princess with the turquoise hair bowed slightly as she wiped her hands on her apron.  A moment later the rest of the house bustled to life to welcome Tenchi home.

“Teeennnnchiiiiiii,” cooed Ryoko as she phased into existence.  She drifted towards the front door and wrapped her arms around Tenchi’s neck as she drifted around behind him.  “It’s been simply ages Tenchi,” Ryoko said, “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming back to me Tenchi.”

“Tenchi was only gone for a week,” said Ayeka, as she appeared on the staircase, she was drying her long purple hair having just finished washing it. “And who said that he came back to see you?”  Ryoko replied with a ripe raspberry.

“Now now,” said Washu as she came out of her lab under the stairs, “If you two start fighting, Tenchi won’t give you your presents.”

“Oh my,” Ayeka said as she stepped off the stairs.  Ryoko giggled giddily, for a present from Tenchi, she could stand being in the same room as Ayeka, at least for a little while.  The space pirate floated away from Tenchi and took her place to stand next to Ayeka.  Tenchi took a wrapped box from each pocket and handed the pink box to Ayeka and the blue one to Ryoko.  “Oooh perfect,” Ryoko cooed after opening her present.  It was a pin in the shape of a reclining panther; it was blue-black with golden eyes.  “Tenchi you’re so sweet,” she said.

Ayeka’s pin was in the shape of a tree; it was shaped a little like her Ryu-oh, the tree that was the main component of her spaceship, it was faux-gold with little green leaves made out of fake jade. The pins were just costume jewelry, but if they were from Tenchi, then they were very precious to the two of them.

“Where are Mihoshi and Ryo-ohki,” asked Tenchi, for the two were nowhere to be seen.

“Last I saw of those two they were asleep on the back porch,” answered Ryoko.  The back door opened a moment later and in stepped a young blonde woman with deep tan colored skin and blue eyes. This was Mihoshi.  In tow she was followed by what appeared to be a five year old girl, save for the fact that she was covered with soft rabbit-like fur and had a pair of lop ears that looked like a cross between a cat’s and a bunny’s.  This was Ryo-ohki.

“Did someone say Tenchi was home?” asked Mihoshi.  Ryo-ohki rubbed her sleepy eyes and then pointed.  “Meow!”

“Hi Mihoshi,” said Tenchi, “These are for you.”  Her box contained a pair of gaudy magenta earrings with flashing LED’s in the center.  “Washu,” Tenchi handed the diminutive genius her box.

Washu beamed as she opened her box.  “A wind up crabby,” she announced gleefully, “This is just what I wanted, Tenchi, thank you.”  Ryo-ohki was just as pleased with her present, a big plush carrot.  “What about me, Tenchi?” asked Sasami.

“I saved the best one for last,” Tenchi replied.  He opened the door and brought in Sasami’s present.  It was a big tako balloon, with its long balloon tentacles bunched up underneath its bulbous looking head.  The whole thing was about three feet around.  It made Sasami giggle.

“Ohhh, neat,” said Mihoshi, “But what makes it float like that.”

“It’s a gas called helium,” Tenchi explained,  “It’s less dense than regular air so it floats up.”

“Unlike Mihoshi,” said Ryoko, “Who’s density personified.”

“What?” said Mihoshi whose bottom lip suddenly developed a pout.  “You’re mean.”

“Helium,” mused Washu, as Ryo-ohki pounced after her crabby toy.  “Why does this give me such a bad feeling?”

“Hey Sasami,” said Mihoshi, “Want to hear something neat?”  The neck of the balloon was tied in a slipknot with a bit of rigid waxed string in the loop to keep the knot from coming undone.  Mihoshi undid the knot and put the neck of the balloon between her lips to inhale a lung full of helium.  “Space Police Policeman, help me,” Mihoshi squeaked.  Sasami giggled as she took the balloon back by the neck.  “I want to try,” she said and stuck the balloon into her mouth.

“SASAMI, NO!”

Washu’s warning came too late, for a moment later Sasami’s eyes were the widest part of her, with the rest of her body competing for a close second.

“What’s happening,” the princess squealed as she floated towards the ceiling, “Somebody get me down!”  Ryoko phased out and then appeared above the bloated Sasami.  “Gotcha, princess,” Ryoko said as she grabbed Sasami out of the air.

“I thought something like this would happen,” said Washu.

“Oh my,” Mihoshi sobbed.  Tenchi looked at the swollen Sasami and bit his lip; the princess had been inflated more than three feet around her middle.  She was a little bigger than the balloon Tenchi had brought her.  “Little Washu, what just happened?” asked Tenchi.

“It has to do with the kinetic energy of helium molecules and the unique biology of the people of Jurai,” Washu explained, “Think of it as a benign allergy.  If any pure blooded Juraian person inhales helium they swell up to odd proportions.  How do you feel Sasami?”

“I feel kinda full,” Sasami replied, “It doesn’t hurt, it just feels kinda weird.”

“Don’t worry,” Washu replied, “It should wear off as your body metabolizes the helium, but in the meantime.”  Washu stretched her fingers out and started to type on the ethereal keyboard that she always kept at hand.  A moment later a hole opened up in midair causing a small silver anklet to drop to the floor.  “Bring her down here, Ryoko,” said the genius.

“Right,” said Ryoko as she floated towards the pink haired scientist.  Washu clipped the anklet around Sasami’s leg and then instructed Ryoko to let her go.  Sasami bobbed up a foot or two before she stopped to float at six feet in the air.  “I knew these little graviton anchors would come in handy one day,” said Washu.

“Hey Princess,” Ryoko said as she snatched Sasami out of the air, “You up for a game of Sasami ball?”  The space pirate gently tossed Sasami across the room towards her sister.  “Ryoko you stop that,” Ayeka hollered as she caught her inflated sister.  Sasami giggled for a bit.  “That was fun, Ayeka,” the younger princess replied.

Ayeka put Sasami’s feet to the floor and let her go.  The little girl bobbled once more up to her six-foot drifting height.  Ayeka grabbed her once more and planted Sasami’s feet firmly on the floor; but it was not good, for as soon as Ayeka released her little sister…  “Whee,” giggled Sasami,  “That’s almost as much fun as Sasami ball.”

“I give up,” Ayeka said finally.  Washu looked up from playing with her crabby.  “Sorry princess,” she replied, “The anchor will only keeps her from floating any higher, it won’t keep Sasami on the ground.”

“Now I won’t get dinner fixed,” pouted Sasami.

“It’s okay Sasami,” said Tenchi, “We can order in for one night.”

*        *        *

“What are you giggling about, Ryoko,” asked Ayeka.  They were sitting on the sofa drinking sake.  “I was thinking about what Washu said,” Ryoko replied.  She cast a sly gaze on the purple haired princess.  Ayeka’s eyes suddenly widened.  “Whatever you are thinking Ryoko, put it right out of your mind.”

Ryoko just smiled.

*        *        *

Late at night Ayeka dozed peacefully in her bed while Sasami drifted overhead.  It was a bit chilly, so Washu made her a quilted robe to sleep in until the helium left her system.  Ryo-ohki had taken over Sasami’s bed until then.

Early in the morning the moon came out from behind the clouds and shined on the elder princess’s face.  A heartbeat later, a spiky haired shadow blotted out that very same moonlight.

*        *        *

The breeze blew a wisp of Ayeka’s hair onto the tip of her nose.  The princess gave a puff and blew the wisp away.  “Sasami,” Ayeka said “The window’s open, would you please close it?”

“Prinnnnnceeess,” said a voice through the haze of sleep.  Ayeka knew who it was almost immediately.  “Ryoko,” the princess replied as she rolled over in her sleep, “What do you wan-wha?”

Ayeka’s eyes shot open to find that she was at least fifty feet in the air.  “Where am I?” she asked frantically, “How did I get up here?”  Ayeka suddenly rolled back over to see her body had been inflated to radical proportions.  In her nose was a tube like the ones used on an oxygen tank, however Ayeka suspected that the tank she was hooked up to didn’t contain oxygen.  At the moment, there was only one thing Ayeka could do.  “RYOKO!”

“You called, Princess?” Ryoko replied as she phased into existence.  The space pirate folded her legs to sit Indian style on Ayeka’s now immense belly.  “Something wrong, Princess?”

“What have you done to me, Ryoko,” Ayeka said short of shrieking, “I, I, I’m huge.”

“I just didn’t want Sasami to have all the fun,” Ryoko explained, “I simply filled you up with a whole tank’s worth of helium and anchored you up here.  Oh, before I forget.”  From her pocket, Ryoko took a bottle with a yellow pill the size of a gumball inside.  “Say ahh, Princess.”

As Ayeka started to respond, Ryoko popped the pill into her open mouth.  The princess swallowed the pill with a cough.  “What was that?”

“A scrubber,” Ryoko replied, “Just a little something to prevent further embarrassment.  Your gonna be up here a while Princess.”

“Ryoko you get me down from here before you get into bigger trouble,” Ayeka shouted.

“You shouldn’t have said that, Ayeka,” Ryoko smiled.  Ayeka then heard three sharp beeps and then started to feel a soft trickle flow up the tube in her nose.  The change wasn’t instant; Ayeka really didn’t notice anything until she saw Ryoko rising up from her belly, then the princess realized that it was her belly that was rising.  “I’m inflating,” Ayeka gasped.  The princess tried to pull the tube out of her nose, but her arms had swollen to a point that they wouldn’t reach.  “Please stop this.”

Beep.

Suddenly the trickle of gas from Ayeka’s nasal tube stopped.  “I was going to tell you about the voice activated switch on the regulator,” said Ryoko, “It’s keyed to your voice, if you want to grow some more all you have to do is say so.”

“Why would I want to grow some more,” Ayeka asked in return, “And why did you bring me up here anyway?”

“I wanted you to see something,” Ryoko replied in her slightly nastier tone, “and you’re too heavy to carry.”

“So you turn me into a blimp?”

“I wouldn’t have had to if Washu’s anchors worked right,” Ryoko replied, “Their distance is based on lift; the more lift you have, the greater the distance between the anchor and the ground.”

“Oh my,” said Ayeka, and her face started to blush.

“What is it with this gown of yours anyway; you’re about ten feet wide and it still fits you like a glove.  What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that I don’t want Tenchi to see me like this,” explained Ayeka, “It’s embarrassing!”

“Embarrassing?” said Ryoko, “This from the princess who calls Masaki ‘my mommy’ in a little girl’s voice when she comes to visit.”  Ayeka’s face reddened a bit more.  “I’ll let you in on a little secret princess,” said Ryoko, “Even for people like us, life is too short to worry about embarrassment.  If something strange happens to you, don’t go crawling into that shell of royal properness; make the best of it.  If you can, have fun with it, if you can’t just go ‘eh’ and move on.”

Ayeka sighed softly.  “And if your still worried about Tenchi,” Ryoko said, “I’ll make us even.”

“Now just what do you mean by that?” asked Ayeka, but Ryoko was gone.  Ayeka turned her head to see that the space pirate had just drifted off a few yards.  Ryoko chuckled a bit, then took in a deep breath and blew on her thumb.  Ayeka’s eyes widened as Ryoko’s normally trim midriff suddenly bulged out from beneath her blouse.  The princess watched as the bulge grew to the size of a beachball before Ryoko stopped blowing.  Ryoko just gave one of her mischievous smiles before taking another breath and started blowing again.

Ayeka’s mouth was agape as she watched Ryoko swelling immensely.  The space pirate slowly ballooned up bigger and bigger until she was six feet wide.  “Oh I’ve forgotten how much fun this is,” Ryoko squealed with delight.

“You think being fat with air is fun,” Ayeka asked.  Ryoko nodded.  “Don’t children play with balloons on your home planet, Ayeka,” she asked.  The princess shook her head.  “We have nothing like them really,” Ayeka replied, “I think my father would consider such a thing as a disruptive influence.”

“I used to do this all the time before Kagato got a hold of me,” Ryoko said, “Sort of a neat way to test my limits.”  She blew on her thumb once more causing her blimped body to widen another two feet.  One more deep breath and Ryoko was the same size as Ayeka.  The space pirate’s body gave a deep groan from the pneumatic stress.  “You’re not going to burst are you?” asked Ayeka.

“If I want to,” Ryoko replied, “Remember, Washu made me from the Masses in her lab.  Takes more than popping like a balloon to get rid of me.”

“That’s good,” Ayeka replied, “I don’t think Tenchi would for give me if I let you burst while you were trying to show me up.”  Ryoko started to giggle madly.  “What’s so funny?” asked Ayeka.

“Did you know that about the only thing we had in common for the past few months was how we felt for Tenchi,” explained Ryoko, “Now look at us.  We’ve fattened ourselves to the point of ridiculousness with air and helium.”

“Ahem, you fattened me up with helium,” Ayeka corrected, “I was asleep.”

“The point is we can both do it whenever we want to,” Ryoko continued, “For whatever reason.”

“Well maybe,” said Ayeka, “I feel kind of like a big pillow.  I don’t feel anything like Sasami described.”

“That has to with the pressure,” Ryoko explained, “I didn’t want to disturb you while you were sleeping; so I had the pressure on the regulator set low.”

“Oh,” Ayeka mused.

A moment the sky began to slowly brighten, as the first golden shimmer of the sun began to peek over the horizon.  “This is what I wanted to show you,” Ryoko said, “Up in the air is the best place to watch a sunrise.”

“You’re right,” Ayeka replied as she rolled over to rest her chin on her hands.  “You know just because we’re rivals for Tenchi’s affections doesn’t mean we have to be enemies.  We could even be friends.”

“Maybe,” said Ryoko, “I just know one thing.”

“And what’s that?” asked Ayeka.

“I’m going to be the biggest!” And with that, Ryoko sucked in her biggest breath and blew on her thumb.

“Not while I’m around,” replied Ayeka, “BIGGER!”

“You’ve only got a couple of tanks worth of gas left, Princess,” Ryoko replied, “But I don’t need them.”

“Then I’ll just have to hope you burst first,” Ayeka replied with a cheer.

*        *        *

A week later:

Ayeka and Ryoko were just coming in from the hot springs on the island that floated out back of the house.  Sasami was floating a few inches off of the floor watching the television; she still had a little helium in her system that let her float just a bit.  Ayeka’s own experience had left her a bit pudgy around her middle and her bust slightly fuller, but Washu said that both princesses would be back to normal by the end of the week.  Tenchi, Washu, Mihoshi, and Ryo-ohki were all on the floor watching the TV.  They had too; the couch was missing.

“Where’s the sofa?” asked Ayeka with piqued curiosity.  Tenchi looked towards the door.  “Oh hello you two,” Tenchi replied, “The sofa was looking a little threadbare, so dad sent it out to be reupholstered.”

“Well it doesn’t look like your too comfortable,” Ayeka said.

“We’re not,” said Washu, “And  there’s a glitch in the subspace field so I can’t get into my lab for my pillow.”

“I can fix this,” Ayeka replied.  She opened the door to the storage unit and pulled something out.  “What can you do about this?” asked Mihoshi.

A softly spoken request, “Bigger please,” was the only reply.

*        *        *

“You didn’t have to do this Miss Ayeka,” said Tenchi.

“Nonsense,” Ayeka replied, “There’s no sense in everyone sitting on the floor.  And I don’t mind anyway, it’s part of who I am and I like sharing it with you.”

“POPCORN!” called Mihoshi, as she emerged from the kitchen.  Mihoshi walked over and handed the bowl up, before climbing up herself.  “So how long before Ayeka gets back to normal, Washu?”

“Well, last time it took her about four days, and that was after five tanks worth,” Washu calculated in her head, “I’d say a day, maybe a day and a half.”

“By then the couch will be back,” said Sasami, “Perfect timing.”

“Well then here’s to Princess Ayeka,” said Mihoshi, “The best TV chair in the Masaki Household.”  Ayeka merely chuckled.

“Well Princess,” said Ryoko, “Over your fear of embarassment?”

“At least as far as as my friends are concerned,” the princess replied, “You were right this is kind of fun.  And the best part is…”

“Hmm…”

“I get to be closer to Tenchi than ever!”

“Wah!” The sound of Ryoko hitting the floor echoed through out the household.  Ayeka simply giggled softly to herself.