I absolutely loved this story. The panic, uncontrollable gaseous inflation, floating, and ending were wonderful.
I swear this is one of the best helium inflation stories I've ever read.
Comments please
Hey guys, I recently had my story put up on the Story Archive, http://www.bodyinflation.org/index.php?name=Archive&op=Display&storyID=215
I'd like some good story writers to criticize the story please, tell me how I could improve and what you like/dislike etc.
Thanks :D
TheOne
Tue, 06/06/2006 - 03:17
#3
Wed, 06/07/2006 - 07:42
#4
doubleintegral
I liked it. It may have gotten down to business a little _too_ quickly for my tastes, but I prefer stories with a lot of buildup. Nonetheless, it was a good story.
Thu, 06/08/2006 - 01:28
#5
darth_clone19
I like build up too, but usually not when the inflation is like in The One's story. I like build up when theres an inflator involved, and when its a girl.
Fri, 06/09/2006 - 05:24
#6
doubleintegral
That's a fair point.
Sat, 06/10/2006 - 12:40
#7
Thanks for the comments guys. I'll bear the tips in mind and make more of a build up. Remember this isn't my first story written but it's my first posted one :)
I was a little too eager to get to the inflation whilst writing that one. I'll get writing another one when I can! :D
The One
Sat, 06/10/2006 - 12:41
#8
Thanks for the comments guys. I'll bear the tips in mind and make more of a build up. Remember this isn't my first story written but it's my first posted one :)
I was a little too eager to get to the inflation whilst writing that one. I'll get writing another one when I can! :D
The One
Sat, 06/10/2006 - 12:41
#9
Thanks for the comments guys. I'll bear the tips in mind and make more of a build up. Remember this isn't my first story written but it's my first posted one :)
I was a little too eager to get to the inflation whilst writing that one. I'll get writing another one when I can! :D
The One
Sun, 06/11/2006 - 04:56
#10
darth_clone19
Well, if the others are interesting, post them too.
Tue, 06/13/2006 - 14:59
#11
Uhh... where did my triple post come from??? LoL
I loved the descriptions, and the girl was great. I love when that type of character gets inflated, and she ven floated. I liked the pacing at the end, how there was his cincerns, her moaning, her floating. It was nice. The best in that last update.
- Read my stories: darth-clone19.deviantart.com