Your post is excellent. Can we use something like AltaVista to bridge the remaining gaps in grammar? Or you can send me the broken English version and I can do a developmental edit on it. (I'm a magazine editor by day.)
Not in english :(
I've writen some interesting stories (long time ago, before I've found this comunity).
Good thing is that I wasn't influenced by other writings here, so there are ideas and plot completely different from what u ever read about inflation universe.
Bad thing is language. It's in russian. Well, I can chat on forums like that, though I'm not native english-speaker and my english is still insufficient to write pieces of real literature.
However, if any one good enough in both english and russian would apear on horizon...
And atleast I can share what I have as it is now.
Well, I can translate ... and, I guess, result will be clear enough to understand. But it surely will loose any literature value. Writing is harder than just posting on forums.
However, if there are voluntary editors I'll try :).
May be even in this topic.
well, INflate is a good bet. He is a magazine editor after all.
Ok. First piece is ready on zero edition state.
First the source in russian:
ßõÑÂþú ÿþô ýþóðüø Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ ÿþÑÂúрøÿыòðû: õщõ ýõ ýðñрðÃȄÂѠòûðóþù ÿþÑÂûõ øÑÂтþüýþóþ üðùÑÂúþóþ ÑÂþûýцð. ÃÂð ôушõ тþöõ ñыûþ ÑÂúрøÿучõ.
ÃÂтð ýþчýðѠÿрþóуûúð ÿþ ÿÃȄÂöу ýõ òхþôøûð ò õõ ÿûðýы, þôýðúþ ø þÑÂтðòðтьÑÂѠÿþô þôýþù úрышõù Ñ Ãâ€Ã‘€ÑŽ þýð рõшøтõûьýþ ýõ öõûðûð.
áúð÷ðть ÿþ ÿрðòôõ, ýþчь ñыûð чуôþ úðú хþрþшð. èõûõÑÂтõû ÿрøñþù, ÿþûýðѠûуýð ÷ðûøòðûð ÑÂòþøü ÑÂòõтþü уóûуñûõýøÑÂ, þÑÂтðòûõýýыõ туфõûьúðüø Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½. áуüрðú, ú тþüу öõ, ÑÂúрыòðû ýõÿрøóÃȄÂôýыõ ÑÂûõôы чõûþòõчõÑÂúþóþ ÿрõñыòðýøÑÂ. Ûøшь þóýø úþттõôöýых ôþüøúþò ýðÿþüøýðûø þ ÑÂущõÑÂтòþòðýøø ûюôõù.
âðú уö ÿþûучøûþÑÂÑŒ, чтþ úðú рð÷ ÑÂõóþôýѠþцõýøть òÑÂõù ÑÂтþù ÿрõûõÑÂтø ÿþ ôþÑÂтþøýÑÂтòу ýõ ôðòðûø ýõÿрøÑÂтýыõ üыÑÂûø ÿþôþñýыõ: "Ãâ€Ã° чтþñ тõñÑÂ, ôð чтþñ òðѠòÑÂõх". Ãâ€Ã‘€ÑŽ, òÑÂõ ÿрþчøõ ÑÂòþûþчø üуöÑÂúþù ÿþрþôы ø, ÑÂþñÑÂтòõýýþ, "òøýþòýøцð" ýõôðòýõù ÑÂÑÂþры, ÿрþòþôøòшõù ýð Ûð÷урýþü ñõрõóу ÑÂòþù üõôþòыù üõÑÂÑÂцÿðры, üõшðûøÑÂÑŒ ò óþûþòõ Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ ò þôýу ÿрõýõÿрøÑÂтýую úучу.
ÃÂþ ú òøýþòýøцõ üы òõрýõüÑÂѠÿþ÷öõ, ÿþÑÂúþûьúу, þÿðÑÂðюÑÂÑŒ, чøтðтõûь уöõ ÿþрÑÂôúþü утþüøÃȄÂѠþт þÿøÑÂðýøѠôушõòýых ÿõрõöøòðýøù Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½.
âõü ñþûõõ, ò÷óÃȄÂô ýðшõù óõрþøýø уÿðû ýð ÃÂõ÷ýðúþüцð. Ãœþöýþ ñыûþ ÿþúÃȄÂÑÂÑ‚ÑŒÑÂѠчõÑÂтью ñðñушúø Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½: ÿþûüøýуты ýð÷ðô õóþ ÷ôõÑÂÑŒ ýõ ñыûþ. áтуÿðû þý ýð рõôúþÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ ñõÑÂшуüýþ, ÿþ úрðùýõù üõрõ, ÿõÑÂþú ø ýõ ôуüðû ÑÂúрøÿõть ø òþ÷üущðтьÑÂѠÿþ ÿþòþôу ýõÿþчтøтõûьýþóþ ú ÑÂõñõ þтýþшõýøÑÂ.
áтðтýðѠфøóурð ÃÂõ÷ýðúþüцð ñыûð ÷ðôрðÿøрþòðýð ò ýõчтþ ýðÿþüøýðющõõ тþ ûø хðûðт, тþ ûø туýøúу. ßþ úрðùýõù üõрõ тðúøх хðûðтþò, õÑÂûø ÑÂтþ, úþýõчýþ, ñыû хðûðт, Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ рðýьшõ ýõ òøôõûð. çõûþòõú ò хðûðтõ ñыû ýõÑÂтõрÿøüþ ýðÑÂыщõýýþ, Ѡñы ôðöõ ÑÂúð÷ðû, þóýõýýþ рыöøü, ôðöõ ÿрø ÑÂúуôýþü ÑÂòõтõ ûуýы ÑÂтþ ñыûþ хþрþшþ ÷ðüõтýþ. ÃÂõ÷ýðúþüõцуûыñðÃȄÂÑÂ, ýþ ýõ уûыñúþù ôþñрþôушýþóþ чõûþòõúð, ð тðú, úðú ухüыÃȄÂÑŽÑ‚ÑÂѠ÷ûыõ шутýøúø, þÑÂтрыõ ýð ÑÂ÷ыú ûюñøтõûø ÿþóûуüøтьÑÂѠýðô ñûøöýøü.
àтõü òрõüõýõü, ÿþúð üы õóþ þÿøÑÂыòðõü, þý ÿþ÷ôþрþòðÃȄÂÑÂ:
- ßрøÑÂтýþ òøôõть ÑÂтþûь øýтõрõÑÂýую ûõôø ò ÑÂтþûь ÿþ÷ôýøù чðÑÂ, ÿрø÷ýðтьÑÂÑÂ, ýõ рðÑÂÑÂчøтыòðû òÑÂтрõтøть úþóþ-ýøñуôь, ýþ ÿþÑÂúþûьúу ÑÂûучðù ÿрõôÑÂтðòøÃȄÂÑÂ, ýõ ÑÂþÑÂтðòøтõ ûø òы üýõ úþüÿðýøю?
- ÃÂÑÂÑÂ, üýõ тþöõ þчõýь ÿрøÑÂтýþ. Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½. ÃœõýѠ÷þòут Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½.
- Ã¥þрþшõõ øüÑÂ. Ãœþõ üýõ ýрðòøтÑÂѠüýþóþ üõýьшõ, ÿþÑÂтþüу ôру÷ьѠýð÷ыòðют üõýѠèутýøú (âðú úðú рð÷óþòþр ÿрþøÑÂхþôøû ýð ðýóûøùÑÂúþü, тþ ÿþýÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ øüõÃȄÂѠûø òòøôу шутýøú øûø úðртþчýыù ôöþúõр ñыûþ рõшøтõûьýþ ýõûь÷ÑÂ, ð Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ утþчýÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ ýõ ÑÂтðûð)
- Ãâ€Ã¾Ã»Ã¶Ã½Ã¾ ñыть òы, úðú ø ÑÂ, ÷ôõÑÂÑŒ ýõ üõÑÂтýыù? ßутõшõÑÂтòуõтõ?
- áõùчðѠÑÂúþрõõ ýõт, чõü ôð. Ãœýõ ÿрøхþôøûþÑÂÑŒ ÿþñыòðть ÿрðúтøчõÑÂúø òþ òÑÂõх ôþÑÂтþùýых üþõóþ òýøüðýøѠüõÑÂтðх, тðú чтþ ÑÂõùчðѠñõóðть ÿþ турøÑÂÑ‚ÑÂúøü ôþÑÂтþÿрøüõчðтõûьýþÑÂÑ‚ÑÂü Ѡфþтþðÿÿðрðтþü üýõ ðñÑÂþûютýþ ýõøýтõрõÑÂýþ.
- àчтþ òðѠÿрøòõûþ ò тðúþù чðѠÑÂюôð?
- Òõрøтõ ûø, ÑÂúуúð. Ãœýõ ÿрþÑÂтþ ÑÂúучýþ. ÃËœ ñûðóþôðрѠýõù, ѠóуÃȄÂÑŽ ÑÂõùчðѠø
÷ôõÑÂÑŒ. Øщу ýþòыõ òÿõчðтûõýøÑÂ.
- Ã’Ñ‹ хуôþöýøú, ÿøÑÂðтõûь?
- Ãœþöýþ, úþýõчýþ, ø тðú ÑÂúð÷ðть. áúþрõõ, Ñ ÑÂúð÷þчýøú. ÃՄۄÂô ûø òðü ÷ýðúþüþ üþõ øüÑÂ... àúðúøõ ÑÂúð÷úø òы ûюñøтõ ñþûõõ òÑÂõóþ?
ßþ ÿрðòôõ ÑÂúð÷ðть, Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ ÑÂúð÷úø ýõ ûюñøûð òþòÑÂõ. ÃÂþ ÑÂúð÷ðть þýð ÑÂтþóþ ýõ ÑÂúð÷ðûð, ôðñы ýõ þñøôõть ÃÂõ÷ýðúþüцð. áтрðýýþ, ýþ þý ýøчуть ýõ úð÷ðÃȄÂѠõù þÿðÑÂýыü, хþтѠûюôÑÂü ÑÂòþùÑÂтòõýýþ þÿðÑÂðтьÑÂѠòÑÂõóþ ýõø÷òõÑÂтýþóþ ø ýõ÷ýðúþüþóþ.
Ãœõöôу тõü рыöøù ÿрþôþûöøû, ýõ ôþöøôðÑÂÑÂÑŒ õõ þтòõтð:
- áúðýôøýðòÑÂúøõ, ÿрðòþ öõ, þчõýь ÷ðýÑÂтýы. Òÿрþчõü, ÑÂõùчðѠþýø ÑÂúÑÂÿûуðтøруютÑÂѠò ýþòþüþôýþü öðýрõ Ñ„ÑÂýтõ÷ø. ØýтõрõÑÂýы ÿþ-ÑÂòþõüу ÑÂúð÷úø ÑÂÿþýÑÂúøõ. ÞÑÂþñõýýþ Ѡûюñûю úòðùôðýы - ÿþòõÑÂтø þ òÑÂõòþ÷üþöýых ôухðх ø ÿрøòøôõýøÑÂÑ…. ÃÂþ, ÿþöðûуù, ðрðñÑÂúøõ ÑÂðüыõ ûюñøüыõ.
- Þ ôð. Ã’ÑÂõ ÑÂтþ þчõýь øýтõрõÑÂýþ.
- Ã’Ñ‹ ûуúðòøтõ, Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½. ÃËœ ÑÂþòÑÂõü ýõ уüõõтõ ûóðть, ýþ Ѡцõýю òðш тðúт. áûушðõтõ ÑÂтðрþóþ óûуÿþóþ фðýтð÷õрð, ÿþôôðúøòðõтõ... ÃÂõ÷ýðúþüõцуûыñýуÃȄÂÑÂ. Ø÷ õóþ òырðöõýøѠûøцð ýø úþøü þñрð÷þü ýõ ÑÂûõôþòðûþ, чтþ ÑÂтþ þý - ÑÂтðрыù óûуÿыù фðýтð÷õр.
- ÃÂу, ÑÂðüую üðûþÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ. ï ÿрþÑÂтþ уöðÑÂðющõ ñõ÷óрðüþтýð ò ÑÂтøх òþÿрþÑÂðх, Ѡýõ
øýтõрõÑÂþòðûðÑÂÑŒ ... ò þñщõü, у üõýѠýõт фðýтð÷øø, ÿþûõтð üыÑÂûø, чтþñы òÑÂõрьõ÷ ÿрõôÑÂтðòøть ÑÂõñõ ÑÂтøх ôухþò, ÑÂûьфþò, òõûøúðýþò ...
- ÞÿÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ ûуúðòøтõ. äðýтð÷øø у òðѠÿрõôþÑÂтðтþчýþ. Òþт, хþтѠñы, òðшõ ýõôðòýõõ ÿþöõûðýøõ ... üýõ ôðòýþ ýõ òÑÂтрõчðûøÑÂÑŒ ôõòøцы Ѡтðúþù ø÷þщрõýýþù фðýтð÷øõù. Ã’ÑÂõü ûюôÑÂü ÑÂòþùÑÂтòõýýþ, ýõ ýð ÑÂûþòðх, ýþ ò óûуñøýõ ôушø хþтõть òõщõù ôþÑÂтðтþчýþ ÿрøüøтøòýых: ÑÂûðòы, ñþóðтÑÂтòð, øôõðûьýþù фøóуры, òыøóрышð ò ûþтõрõю øûø чõóþ-ýøñуôь ÑÂтþûь öõ óûуÿþóþ ø ýõýуöýþóþ.
Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ ýõ ÑÂþóûðÑÂøûðÑÂÑŒ Ѡтõ÷øÑÂþü þ óûуÿþÑÂтø ø ýõýуöýþÑÂтø ÑÂûðòы ø ñþóðтÑÂтòð. ÃÂþ, þÿÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ öõ, ÿрõôÿþчûð þÑÂтðòøть ÑÂтø ÑÂûþòð ÿрø ÑÂõñõ, ð òüõÑÂтþ ýøх уÑÂõрôýþ ÷ðúøòðûð.
ÃÂõ÷ýðúþüõцуÑÂüõхýуÃȄÂѠø ÿрþôþûöðû.
- ÃÂõт чтþñы ÑÂôõûðть чтþ-ýøñуôь ÑÂтþÑÂщõõ, Ѡýõ óþòþрю, úþýõчýþ, þ ÿþóþûþòýþü
þÑÂчðÑÂтûøòûøòðýøø чõûþòõчьõóþ рþôð, уÑÂтðýþòûõýøø üøрð ýð ÷õüûõ, ûõúðрÑÂтòõ þт рðúð øûø, ÑÂúðöõü, óõрÿõÑÂð... ÃÂтþ ÑÂûøшúþü ñðýðûьýþ ø ÑÂúучýþ. Òþт ÑÂþтòþрøть, øûø хþтѠñы ÿрøôуüðть, úðúую-ýøñуôь þрøóøýðûьýую шутúу - ÑÂтþ ôð. ÃÂð ÑÂтþ фðýтð÷øѠтрõñуõтÑÂÑÂ. ÃËœ òðü õõ ýõ ÷ðýøüðть.
- ÃÂøчõóþ ýõ ÿþýøüðю, úðúðѠтðúðѠшутúð?
Þý ÑÂтþ ÷ðüõчðýøõ ÿрþøóýþрøрþòðû ø ÿрþôþûöðû:
- ï ôðòýþ ò÷ÑÂû ÷ð ÿрðòøûþ ýõ òüõшøòðтьÑÂѠò öø÷ýø ûюôõù, тõü ñþûõõ, ÑÂрð÷у ñþûьшþù óруÿÿы, ýþ рðôø òðÑÂ, ÿþöðûуù, ÑÂôõûðю øÑÂúûючõýøõ. áчøтðùтõ, чтþ òðшõ öõûðýøõ, òðшð üðûõýьúðѠüõÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ òþÿûþтøûðÑÂÑŒ ò öø÷ýь.
- ÚðúðѠüõÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ? Úðúþõ öõûðýøõ? ï ýø þ чõü тðúþü ø ýõ óþòþрøûð.
- ÃÂþ ÿþôуüðûø. ÃÂõ÷ðôþûóþ ôþ ýðшõù òÑÂтрõчø.
Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ ÿþÿрþñþòðûð òÑÂÿþüýøть ÑÂòþø ýõôðòýøõ üыÑÂûø, ýþ ñõ÷рõ÷уûьтðтýþ. Ñыûþ рð÷þчðрþòðýøõ, ø ýõúþтþрðѠ÷ûþÑÂÑ‚ÑŒ ôðöõ, ÿþ þтýþшõýøю ú Ãâ€Ã‘€ÑŽ. ÃÂу üþöõт ñыть ýõ тþûьúþ ú ýõüу, ýþ ýøúðúøх ÑÂõрьõ÷ýых ÿûðýþò üщõýøѠþýð ýõ òыýðшøòðûð ø ò ÿþüøýõ. Òþт тþûьúþ õÑÂûø ... ýõт, ÑÂтþ ÿрõôÿþûþöõýøõ üþöýþ ñыûþ þтñрþÑÂøть, úðú ÑÂòýыù ò÷ôþр.
- ÃÂõ ÿрõôÑÂтðòÃȄÂÑŽ, þ чõü òыóþòþрøтõ.
ÃÂþ Ãâ€Ã¶Ã¸Ã½ ÑÂûушðû тþûьúþ òýøüðтõûьýыù ýþчýþù ñрø÷. ÃÂøúðúþóþ ýõ÷ýðúþüцð ø ò ÿþüøýõ ýõ ñыûþ Ñ€ÑÂôþü.
Now translation.
************************Prologue***********************
Sand creaked by Jane’s steps. Beach still hasn’t got wet after whole day of burning sun at late may. It was something sqeaky in her mind too.
Jane hasn’t intended to go for a walk so late at night, but still this was better than staying with Drew.
Still… night was majestic. Slight murmur of surf, light of the full moon filling smole holes in the sand left by Jane’s heels. Traces of human existence were covered with veil of the night. Windows of distant cottages shimmered, being the only thing reminding about civilisation around.
All this marvellous calm around was passing by Janes eyes and ears. Bitterness and nasty thoughts about “Drew, other male swines and that damned latex bitchâ€Â. These subjects messed in her not completely sane now mind.
… Jane and Andrew were celebrating their honeymoon at the Cote d’Azur, Andrew gambled a little and wasted money of Janes father … a little. Than they quarreled, she refused to share a bed with him, and he happened to have an inflatible sex doll, just to mock her…
But enough of that. Suddenly Jane has discovered she has a company. She could swear with her granny’s honor an instant before there were nobody in the vicinity. And now there was a Stranger. He walked with amazing silence: every grain of sand was mute below his feet, meekly allowing him to tread.
Stranger was dressed, or may be wraped, with a some sort of tunic or a robe, even if it was a robe, Jane has never seen such kind of one. Man was redhaired… he was extremely red, noticably even in the moonlight. He smiled, with a smile of scoffer I’d say.
In the meantime, while we were describing him, he said:
- Such a pleasure to meet a beautifull lady … so late in the night, frankly, I didn’t expected to find somebody here. However, once good fortune smiles upon us, don’t you mind my company?
- … Umm. Nice, I’m pleased too. My name is Jane.
- Good name, better than my own. Pals often call me Jocker.
- It seems you aren’t native, like myself. Are you travelling?
- Closer no, than yes. I’ve already visited all places worth my attention. Running across tourist sites with a cam – definetly this sort of activity doesn’t appeal me.
- Any reasons to come here aftredark?
- Boredom, I’d say. And thanks to it, I’m walking here and now, chatting with you. It’s a quest for something new to impress me.
- Artist or writer seeking inspirtation?
- Close to it. Not exactly writer … story-teller or bard. Which tales do you like best?
In fact, Jane didn’t like tales at all, however, she also didn’t want to offend Stranger. He looked harmless, despite some obscurity around him. He continued
- Scandinavian are fascinating. Alas they are hardly exploited by new-fangled fantasy genre. Japaneese ones are good, stories about ghosts they call “Kwaidanâ€Â. And, offcourse, amazing arabic tales.
- Very interesting.
- Oh my cunning Jane, I see, you haven’t good practice in telling lies. Listening to the old stupid dreamer, “yes, yes, very interesting“.
He didn’t seem as old stupid dreamer. Nor old, nor stupid actually.
- Well, I’m just ignorant … And never interested such things. I simply lack fantasy to imagine those dwarves, giants, elves,…
- Nonsence again. You have a perfect imagination, atleast your recent wish … meeting a girl with such an astounding ideas, such a refined imagination. People used to desire, not in bold words, but in they mind, wealth, glory, perfect shapes. They say otherwise, everybody claims he ‘s special, but still most of them are so dull, boring, monotonous. Wishing for this foolish garbage.
Jane had another point of view on wealth and fame, but prefered to, nod instead of disagreeing. Stranger grinned and than continued.
- There are worthy things, offcourse I’m not speaking about making humankind happy, ending of all warfare, cure for cancer or herpes. It’s too obvious and even banalish. But create something new… a perfect fresh joke, for example. This requires imagination. And you have one.
- What joke? I don’t understand.
He ignored her replique and continued.
- For a long time I haben’t mess in the lives of people, esspecially large groups of them, but as a personal favor for you, I’ll make an exception. Your wish, your little revenge is granted.
- What wish? What revenge? I haven’t said anything like this!
- But you thought. Just a moment before our meeting.
Jane tried to restore a bunch of thoughts, things she was thinking about recently. Fruitless. There were some frustration and irritation, maybe anger towards Drew and others. But thoughts of revenge? No! And else there was … nay impossible.
- I Don’t understand. What do you …
Night breeze listened to Jane with great attention. And Stranger vanished.
That was about 1/7 of the first chapter (everything that is completely ready for now). It wouldn't be short fetish related story, like most of stuff here. Finaly I hope to develop an epic about a specific universe (with some of its dwellers being inflatible). There is a plot and it is not focused on inflation only, but dramatic changes in lives of characters due to ... well ya know later.
Seems nobody interested in edition.
I hadnt noticed you had posted already
Seems nobody interested in edition.
I'm interested, but I've been quite busy in real life.
Same here. Sorry, deadlines on the job come first.
ok
I'm taking Russian next semester. If anyone already has better knowledge of the language (I know approximately four words and one phrase :( ), I'd like to see this guy's stories in English myself.
DeviantART!: http://baphometdisciple.deviantart.com/