I dont think too much about this stuff. Im more concerned on what aspect of the description can I exploit to make each story interesting.
Exposition
Do you give much thought to exposition in stories? For me, that's always a key technique I try to work on and improve with every story and I always take note of how other authors use it. As a reader, how do you like to experience it and, if you write, do you find your motivations and expectations differ from that perspective? Do you think the kind of writing here warrants a different treatment of exposition or do you think that, generally, even fetish stories should follow more traditional format?
Sun, 03/16/2008 - 01:42
#3
darth_clone19
Sun, 03/16/2008 - 11:54
#4
I can't say I'm a fan of long winded author narratives... but like any technique, there is a way to use it well. I don't think I'd use it well so I don't use it at all. I try to reveal all the necessary information in-plot. Usually through dialogue between the characters. Of course that raises problems of its own, you can end up with really cheesy dialogue where characters explain things to each other even though they both know to begin with. e.g.
Inflator: Now I will use my inflation spell on you,
Inflatee: Oh no, not the inflation spell you've been trying to perfect for 20 years!
Inflator: Yes indeed, the inflation spell I could never quite get right leading to all those accidents.
If the inflator having prior knowledge isn't essential to the plot then I would usually have her not know, so the Inflator can explain it to her in a realistic manner.
Personally, I think that limiting your perspective to that of the characters gets the reader much more involved in the story.
Sun, 03/30/2008 - 02:34
#5
Him: Dialogue’s the key.
Her: The key? The key to what?
Him: The key to getting a story across quickly and without a load of boring narration.
Her: What the hell are you talking about?
Him: Narration. It’s overused and can seem clumsy. I want to know what’s going on but I don’t want to waste time with endless description.
Her: You could use your eyes, doofus.
Him: Not here, this is a written sequence. Visual foreshadowing and carefully edited reveals mean nothing here. It’s all in the words.
Her: But what if you get stuck with a sequence with only one character? Where’s the dialogue there?
Him: (over her next lines) Ner ner ner, I can’t hear you. La la lala laaa.
Her: If you have one person talking to themselves it seems really contrived. Besides, there are a lot of things people just never say out loud that would make really crap dialogue. You need narrative in a non visual medium.
Him: Oh yeah. Let’s see then.
Her: Hey, what are you doing with the helium cylinder. No, don’t put that there.
SFX: Hissing.
Her: Oh. Oh no, I’m blowing up like a balloon. My breasts, they’re inflating. I’m going to…
SFX: Tearing
Her: Burst right out of my clothes. Hey, you’re cheating. Sound effects aren’t dialogue.
Him: No, but I’m the one at the keyboard and if I want to cheat I can. Bwah, ha ha ha ha ha!!!
SFX: Balloons squeaking.
Her: Ooooh, they’re getting so big. Shiny, ballooning breasts, tugging upward. Aaagh, I’m starting to float and gabble ridiculously obvious observations. Quick, grab my ankle. Help! I’m floating away.
Him: Hmm. (shouting) I suppose narrative could have revealed how much you wriggled as you rose, but that could equally have been left to the imagination of the reader.
Her: (shouting) Fuck the reader.
Him: (shouting) Now, now. Don’t be rude or I’ll write that that’s exactly what you do next.
Sun, 03/30/2008 - 07:35
#6
Inflate123
Pongo FTW. :)
I'm not sure how I feel about the topic at hand. I do like some of the elements to be clearly stated, even if they are obvious, and it's actually a turn-on to hear the characters say some stupid things sometimes. But it's a very delicate element and it can go so bad so quickly.
Sun, 03/30/2008 - 12:02
#7
Usually I have the inflatee describing how it feels to be inflated but not the basic details of her inflation, which I leave to the narrative.
Sometimes I make this dialogue a little more realistic by using the sexual tension between her and the inflator.
The inflator will ask her questions about how she feels and the inflatee will answer because the inflator has her in a delicate situation and can dominate her, and to this I add the fact the the inflatee slightly enjoys being inflated and has a hidden desire to converse with the inflator over how it feels.
I think this might be outside the realm of exposition though, this is description of what is going on at that very moment in time, where exposition is description of things that have happened in the past, which are needed in order for current events to make sense.
Sun, 03/30/2008 - 15:05
#8
darth_clone19
bravo pongo!
Sun, 03/30/2008 - 18:13
#9
Sorry Inflate123
Hoist by my own balloon. I love the ridiculously obvious phrases and those I used are my favourites. I was trying to point out how useful and limiting a dialogue only story can be.
That I failed kind of makes the exercise pointless.
Pongo
Tue, 04/15/2008 - 04:44
#10
airtankgirl5
I write junk. I rely on the "chick factor" to see me through.
Tue, 04/15/2008 - 21:06
#11
darth_clone19
airtankgirl5 wrote:
I write junk. I rely on the "chick factor" to see me through.
No you dont ;)
Wed, 04/16/2008 - 03:54
#12
Inflate123
Pongo, I liked what you wrote, but yeah, I did think you were taking the proverbial piss. It was entertaining; is that any comfort?
ATG, no, you don't. Your stories are lovingly crafted.
Exposition by the author, or exposition by the characters? Getting a lecture from the author about what's going on should be kept to a minimum. Having the characters think and speak about what is happening to them, or their victims, gives us an insight into the character.
If Dr. Depraved Meany is inflating some straight-laced superheroine and he hears her screaming with each inflationary jolt, and he thinks 'Yes, scream in terror and mortification!' While in her POV she's really getting off on the experience. It gives you clues into the psyche and motivations that a mere lecture from the author can't.
There's one other thing. If the author says something, it must be the truth. If a character says something, then they are speaking from their experience and bias, so what they say or think could be completely wrong.