"Now I shall have my revenge!" wailed Dr. Stuffenpumper, a devilish rogue with roguish looks and the heart of a devil, as he engaged every synapse in his twisted, genius brain and quietly, decisively, and ruthlessly turned the pump on.
It was a dark and stormy night...
I thought this might be a fun little exercise: in the same vein as the annual Bulwer-Lytton contest (where entrants are encouraged to submit "the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels"), try to come up with the worst opening line to an inflation story.
If not that, try your hand at writing a really, really bad simile.
"Sally was a college student with large, DD breasts who enjoyed wearing latex jumpsuits on campus, until..."
Rebecca was 5 feet 10 inches tall weighing 120 pounds with blonde hair and blue eyes and blue jeans and a white T-shirt.
"There's no way this could be dangerous.", Tiffany thought as she guzzled down the contents of some strange container she just recently found.
"I know its mad Doctor, which is precisely why I must do it!" Said Cindy, the beautiful supermodel lab assistant who loves men who resemble the author- right before she shoved the hose into her mouth.
"I know its mad Doctor, which is precisely why I must do it!" Said Cindy, the beautiful supermodel lab assistant who loves men who resemble the author- right before she shoved the hose into her mouth.
Thats actually awesome *drools*
"I know its mad Doctor, which is precisely why I must do it!" Said Cindy, the beautiful supermodel lab assistant who loves men who resemble the author- right before she shoved the hose into her mouth.
Hehee, that one is so bad, it's gone around the other side and become awesome :-D
So it has to be a really dreadful opening line eh....
How about...
'Suddenly and without warning Zoe did something that mean that she would eat something else that caused her to spontaneously inflate for no apparently explainable reason, yet enables her to stay alive and enjoy it so much while it was happening that she had multiple orgasms.'
Oh, no, that's a whole story... feel free to 'Expand' on it... hahaah
Her boobs were like basketballs--big, round, firm, and palmed every night by teams of men who were prone to dribbling.
Her boobs were like basketballs--big, round, firm, and palmed every night by teams of men who were prone to dribbling.
Now, THAT is funny!
"Of those who survived, some would say it began with an eerie breeze while others would recall the sudden and inexplicable tightening of waistbands, but none would ever forget the day that The Blimping began and took the members of the Amhearst High cheerleading squad as its first victims."
I've been seeing a lot of commercials for "The Happening", and I wondered what an inflation story would look like if it were done by M. Night Shyamalan.
It would probably suck.
There would be a massive twist, in that...I don't know, it was actually a computer simulation, and when you inflated, you were leaveing the simulation, or something...
"As Georgia Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, she found herself transformed into an enormous balloon."
5 points to whoever geusses which classic short story I took this from. :p
"As Georgia Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found herself transformed into an enormous balloon."5 points to whoever geusses which classic short story I took this from. :p
Metamorphosis. C'mon, you made it too easy. :P
Edit: Although, the prospect of someone just suddenly waking up one morning and finding themselves ballooned up is rather intriguing...
Kafka's "Metamorphosis."
Hmm...Worse opening line ever eh? lets see..
"Bunny giggled as she opened up the bottle of "Bust-eze" pills and swallowed the whole bottle."
As for the simile, that's a bit harder...
"Her boobs squeaked like balloons"
No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith.