story feedback post. [untitled story]

Let me know what you guys think, please. English is not my first language, but I try hard. Criticism is okay too. Just nothing like 'you suck', please. If it's corrective critism, that's fine. Just don't be too harsh. If people like what I write, then I will post more. This is unedited, mind. Also keep in mind that I don't really hate clowns, because I did used to have a friend that did clowning. He was a bit strange.

Give my story a title too!
Thanks!
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[untitled]

Dez stared hard at the book on the table, not quite understanding the title nor the content of its pages.
He blinked and turned the book over to read the synopsis on the back, but there was none. Just the outer cover with two words and a simple circle acting as the logo.

Inflation Guide.

He turned it over again and shook his head. He knew his mate had strange novel interests, but was just pushing the limit. Of course, Dez hadn't really opened the book yet, either.

He flipped the book over and shrugged, then he opened the first couple pages onto the table of contents. Canting his head, he simply fell into the information, nursing his sixth drink of the night.

"Oh don't tell me," Alek started to say as the door slammed behind him, "You just forgot where the freezer was and you had to resort drinking from the bottle again so's not to waste the alcohol..." he unshouldered his duffel bag and let it drop to the floor. Dez looked up from the Guide and started in his chair, his mouth slightly open. He was obviously drunk. The entire flat smelled like different types of alcohol and soda; the usual aftermath of one of Dez's long nights spent alone.

"Alek," Dez said, "Didn't hear you come in."

Alek sat down at the table, across from his mate, "How far gone are you?"

"Not very."

Alek rolled his eyes, "How many fingers am I holding up?" he held up his hand, open-palmed. Dez's blurry, unfocused eyes trailed the hand for a moment before he sighed and said, "I. Can I answer later?"

Alek stood, nearly knocking his chair into the wall behind him, "I am disgusted with you! Is there a night you don't drink? And further more---..." his green eyes darted down to the book on the table, "...what are you doing with that?"

Dez blinked, swaying on his chair slightly, "...oh. It's interesting. Didn't know you read sci-fi novels."

Alek burned with slight embarrassment, "I. I don't."

"Then what is this? Is this a guide? For real?" Dez laughed, "You're kidding, right?"

"I don't joke." he said flatly. His tone suggested that this conversation was indeed, over, but Dez continued to laugh, "You're kidding, right? This is a load of bullocks! I mean, look at this---" Dez flipped open to the page he was reading and he said aloud, "If you're lucky enough to have access to it, helium works the best for fast inflation. Bicycle pumps are suggested for a more close, intimate serious of pumps-- hehe that both you and your lover can enjoy. This is hilarious. Is this why you became a professional clown? So you could make balloon animals or something? Haha!" he closed the book and was taken aback but the hurt, ashamed look in his lover's eyes. Then he started to laugh again, in turn snorting some vodka up into his nose.

"Stop laughing, Dez!"

"Ahaha, hhsssouch, why does it buurrn!?" but he couldn't stop laughing, even though he saw the anger in Alek's eyes. He couldn't take anything seriously at this point, he was too far gone to care. Alek stared at Dez, pain and embarrassment welling in his eyes, and he said, "Look. I might enjoy clowning, but no that is not the reason I became one. It runs in the family...and..."

"Did your daddy 'pump himself up' before work so he could fit into his baggy pants? HA!"

Alek scowled, "Look. I'm trying to talk to you about this, and you keep mocking me..."

"C'mon, Alek! You're a clown---and you're into this----crap!" he pushed the book aside, reaching for his bottle of alcohol, "I don't know which is more embarrassing. If you're a party clown, or if you," he made quotation marks around his words, "Inflate yourself."

"The fact that I'm a professional clown never bothered you before! At least I'm not a worthless ex-cop drunkard who stills relives the glory days of pounding crackheads and giving whores fines!"

An uncomfortable silence prevailed the kitchen where they both were. Alek stared at the floor as Dez simply pulled the bottle to his lips again.

"Dez. You're an asshole." and Alek turned to leave the room, "I'm going to bed. Don't wake me up when you come stumbling in at four a.m. And don't try to be cute with me, either. Put my book back and just, drink yourself asleep." he started for the bedroom, grabbing the duffel bag that held his work-uniform in it and slinging it over his shoulder.

Dez stared at the floor. He didn't even feel the bottle in his hand.
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So this is why he has helium tanks, he thought dumbly as he stared at the row of tanks against the far eastern wall of the basement, I wonder if any of his stupid clown buddies know about it. If he'd really be funny then, or if they're into it too... the world was spinning thickly now, slowly. It almost made sense to him, in this drunken state. Maybe if I show him...what's it like. Or something. And then, he'll know. Yeah. This makes sense. only it didn't, at least to anyone outside his own head. He stood, swaying, glaring at the tanks as if they've done him a personal wrong. And in his mind, they had. He wondered if Alek thought of being inflated when they were intimate. Maybe that's why he hisses 'bigger' in my ear sometimes... he considered it and grew bitter. The night was over and it was rounding on four in the morning. He had heard the streetsweeper go by when he had gotten up out of the kitchen chair to stagger down to the basement to curse the helium tanks in his native tongue. The streetsweeper went by at three a.m.. So he had been standing in the basement for an hour, glaring at the tanks with a hate he used to know on the force. The tanks themselves ranged in size and weight. Most were empty anyway. He didn't know where this hate came from. He glared at a small one, used by Alek for travelling shows and parades to make balloon animals for kids and his fellow, (stupid) Dez thought, clowns.

I'll show him. he thought as he grabbed for the smallest tank. It was the rough size of a professional photographer's camera-bag. It was a conveient size for using in the truck or (clown car jalopy). Dez hooked it under his arm and staggered up the stairs, humming drunkenly as he went. He almost fell down (wouldn't that be hilarious) as he lurched up the stairs; he slammed the door behind him when he re-entered the kitchen, then he lurched right into the bedroom where Alek still slept. Dez paused, then staggered back out to the kitchen to grab his bottle of Stoli, and went back into the bedroom. The red light from the snaketank sent everything in a red glow; it gave the room a hellish apperance. Dez studied his lover's sleeping form for a moment's time before he stepped closer and made sure the man was sleeping. Then he grabbed the hose from the helium tank and prodded Alek's mouth with it. It was no secret that his body was being invaded, but Alek's jaws relaxed and Dez was able to get him to chomp onto the hose. Almost willingly, Dez smirked humourlessly.

He sat down next to the tank and leaned on it, sipping his vodka stoically as he turned the valve. The faint hiss pervaded the room, sounding all the world like one of the snakes in the far corner. He watched his lover's body, just clad in a pair of boxers, as it began to change right before his very eyes. First, Alek's cheeks puffed out slightly, then they relaxed after he started to swallow the air and he looked relatively normal. Dez scowled and watched, playing a perverse sentinel to this little sideshow. He watched as the man's chest pumped with each breath, each one the slow and steady pump of one sleeping.

Inhale, pause, exhale.
Inhale, pause, exhale.

Then, much to Dez's wonder, he watched as Alek's chest rose to inhale, then he paused to exhale, and it continued to rise. Dez stared in amazement as Alek's chest expanded only slightly, then his belly, which had started out rather taunt and well-muscled, started to round out and fill with air.

Look at that! he thought triumphantly, Joke's on you, clown-boy!

Dez was tempted to wake his lover up just so the other man could be horrified at the outcome, but he thought better of it as he watched the man's belly loom up larger and large. First it was just vollyball sized, then beachball sized. Now he looked like he had swallowed a medicine ball, and he was still growing. Dez turned the valve off and considered putting the tank back in the basement, but it was when he reached for the hose that Alek opened his eyes.

He spoke around the hose quietly, "You're going to stop?"

Dez stared, horrified, "You're awake?"

Alek smirked around the hose, "You're a loud drunk, hon. Now. Unless you want me to pump you up, you'd better make me pop."

Dez blinked, "Pop you? Like a balloon? Won't you die?"

"Pop me. Like a balloon. And no. Popping is harmless. The body heals itself. It's like..." he spat the hose out of his mouth, "It's like we deflate, only rapidly. And the only side effect is a slight headache. Not unlike the one you'll be feeling later..." he grinned a bit, "Now pump me up, Dez, or you're going to get it instead."

Dez put the hose back into his mate's mouth and turned the valve again, watching, fascinated, as his lover filled his air. He reached forward and put a hand on the man's side, feeling the taunt texture to the man's skin, the only-slight give it had, and the warmth it had. He liked it. He wondered what it was like. He'd have to ask Alek in the morning.

Alek was enjoying himself completely. He felt the rush of air down his throat and he knew what was coming next as he felt his right side press against the wall and his other side rose up to meet his lover's hand. He gave Dez a look that simply said, Pop me. and Dez couldn't help but smile back at the smart-ass stare. Alek was as big as the pallet they slept on, and he looked like he didn't have much more to go. His skin was quivering as the hissing grew more intense. Alek had a look of supreme joy on his face as he thought Yes. Yes. Bigger. Oh Dez, I can't wait to show you this... and the world exploded.

When Dez woke up in the morning, he was surprised to find himself alone. He frowned, but noticed that the night previous wasn't just an odd dream. The helium tank was still in the bedroom, but Alek was nowhere to be seen. Dez stumbled from the bedroom, went into the bathroom, and then staggered to the kitchen, where Alek sat nursing a cup of tea and flipping through the pages of his guide. He mused at his lover before he said, "Mornin' Sunshine. How's the head?"
Dez grunted to show that it hurt.

Alek smirked a bit, "I was just reading up on some techniques."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Tonight it's your turn."