How about a woman in her skin-tight g-suit with helemt, suddenly expanding due to that (she's outside the ship due to an emergenty evac)...
Opinions wanted for a story idea
This is just an idea i've had going on in my head for the last few days and I'd like to know if people think it's worth writing up as a story.
Essentially a female astronaut goes out onto the moon or for a spacewalk but accidently damages the regulator for her spacesuit's oxygen supply. As a result it begins expanding at an alarming rate.
She has to race back to the airlock before she's rendered totally immobile or it explodes. Or it becomes too large for her to get back inside her ship.
So, worth doing?
Also, hi and I like what i've seen on the forum so far.
Sun, 01/31/2010 - 03:22
#3
Sun, 01/31/2010 - 16:47
#4
Inflate123
First, welcome!
Second, I like your concept, but I'd be looking for some detailed descriptions of the pressure to make it worthwhile. There aren't a ton of stories like yours, taking that approach.
Also, I find if you have a fully-formed idea that you like, it's better to just write it and solicit feedback later than to ask the community for input before you even start. Don't let someone talk you out of what makes sense to you or makes you happy; it's too easy for someone's subjective personal preference to derail you. Write for yourself then see who else is on board. :)
Tue, 02/02/2010 - 02:54
#5
RenegadeKamui
I LOVE this idea! This is exactly the sort of inflation story I like; the slowly building suspense of growing gradually and inexorably larger, and the tension of working toward a goal that gets farther away by the second. Setting it in space is a huge innovation; normally, the threat of bursting is reserved for actual bodily inflation, but the added issue of vaporlock translates it seamlessly to clothing inflation.
I do have a few suggestions, though. First of all, you specify that her space suit (I assume some sort of futuristic skin-tight rubber number, since real space suits don't really stretch) inflates "at an alarming rate". If that's the case, the story will be over almost as soon as it begins. Instead, it should be so gradual that she doesn't even notice it at first. Maybe she was even issued a faulty tank at the base, but she doesn't notice the problem until she bends over to pick something off the ground and springs 30 feet straight up. But since she's so far from base at this point, even this extremely gradual inflation is a threat.
Also, there only so much you can expound upon the point of "doggedly she waddled toward the airlock as her limbs grew stiffer and stiffer". Don't forget to add additional obstacles. Maybe she tries to drive back in her moon buggy, but her inflating leg jams down on the gas pedal, causing her to accelerate out of control; as she tries to steer, her midsection gets wedged against the steering wheel. She could fall into a deep crater, despairing of being able to climb back out -- only to find she's big enough to bounce now. She could develop a pinhole leak in one of her feet, causing her to skid around erratically just as the airlock is in sight. When she does end up wedged in the door, maybe another astronaut tries to force her through. Heck, if you were really ambitious, you could give your victim a crewwoman companion from the start; since the regulator can't be repaired in the field, they have to get back together through all these adventures.
I don't know how much story-writing experience you have, but I'm an experienced (if not particularly skilled) writer, so drop me a PM if you need any tips.
Tue, 02/02/2010 - 20:33
#6
"Inflate123" = Alright, i'll keep that in mind from now on. I only asked for thoughts ahead of time as all of the stories her (and on DA) focus upon the characters filling with air rather than their outfits, and there didn't seem much point in writing something people were going to hate.
But thanks for the suggestion on the pressure, i'll probably use that as the first signs of things going wrong for the character :)
"notsosupersaiyan" = Damn that's a lot of suggestions, and not one I don't like the sound of :D
As you said, i'm going to use a 'anime-suit' (skin tight) but give the idea that it's also a lot more basic I.E. have the air quite literally being 'pumped' in and out, and a few other ideas.
Do you mind if I ask what you meant by "she bends over to pick something off the ground and springs 30 feet straight up" though?
Mon, 02/27/2012 - 14:13
#7
I like her idea but try this her ticket has an unlimited air supply so she is hooked up to it with 2 miles worth of hose. Do the inflation keeps goin and goin. And how is she gona to have a little hole in her suit if she can't reach her feet. And also try this her suit is really stretchy and indestructible because of space debre so she doesn have to worry about popping
Thu, 02/04/2010 - 05:02
#8
RenegadeKamui
Yull wrote:
"notsosupersaiyan" = Damn that's a lot of suggestions, and not one I don't like the sound of :DAs you said, i'm going to use a 'anime-suit' (skin tight) but give the idea that it's also a lot more basic I.E. have the air quite literally being 'pumped' in and out, and a few other ideas.
Do you mind if I ask what you meant by "she bends over to pick something off the ground and springs 30 feet straight up" though?
I'm glad you like my ideas. Sometimes I think I'm like a fountain of ideas who just sucks at putting them on paper.
What I meant is that as the suit inflates, the limbs stiffen up and become resistant to bending from the air pressure within. So when she bends her legs, it's like compressing a spring. Like the proverbial frog in boiling water, the pressure increase is so gradual that she doesn't even notice it's getting harder to move, until she tries to stand up too quickly, and the built-up tension makes her jump.
Is there any particular reason for there to be an actual pump in the suit? Real air tanks rely on internal pressure to power the flow of air. I don't know what they do when the user exhales, but I assume there's some sort of outlet valve. If this valve were stuck or partially blocked, that should be sufficient to cause inflation, since the astronaut can't very well stop breathing. Keep things simple, is what I say.
Wed, 02/10/2010 - 08:28
#9
Inflate123
Yull wrote:
there didn't seem much point in writing something people were going to hate.
Like I said, write for yourself. Don't worry about what other people will or will not like. You are getting some good feedback but often, people will not comment on a story. The ratio of reads to comments is in the hundreds and I'm not exaggerating. If you are writing to hear what other people think, it's really only a matter of time until you get discouraged. Better to write to make yourself happy and then see if people like, hate, or don't care about your story.
Sun, 02/28/2010 - 11:28
#10
Inflate123 wrote:
You are getting some good feedback but often, people will not comment on a story. The ratio of reads to comments is in the hundreds and I'm not exaggerating.
Yeah, I have noticed that in the vast bulk of inflation related stories and others. I'll keep that in mind from now on.
Anyway, here's the first part. It's the first real attempt i've had at writing something life this so any feedback for improvements would be welcome.
---------------------------------------
Edit: Story removed.
Mon, 02/27/2012 - 14:16
#11
What's the title of the storie because that storie u r making will make a hit. And where is the part of the storie u wrote your thing says edit: story removed did it get removed ?
Mon, 03/01/2010 - 01:08
#12
RenegadeKamui
Wow, your writing style is really professional. Is this your first time writing a story, or just your first time writing one on body inflation?
One thing I don't quite understand is Sarah's panic near the end. You mention possible issues with her "life support systems", but if her air tanks stop working, can't she just go back to the buggy's hose? And if she's that worried for her safety, why doesn't she head back to base immediately instead of continuing on the mission?
Other than these issues, you're doing good so far. Keep it up!
Mon, 03/01/2010 - 01:54
#13
I'm loving this so far Yull, I cannot wait to see the completed story! :)
Sun, 08/29/2010 - 03:49
#14
i also love the idea do it DO IT NOW!!
Sun, 08/29/2010 - 03:57
#15
i also love the idea do it DO IT NOW!!
Sun, 08/29/2010 - 04:03
#16
lol sorry got a bit carried away i personally think there should be WAY more stories like this!
Onwards and upwards!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDEeSrHOi1M
Mon, 02/27/2012 - 14:09
#17
Yes it is but no explosion and if u do make the storie what will the title be. I like it she doesn't make it her suit keeps inflating and to make it worse she has an unlimited air supply from her rocket so the air will just keep coming That was an idea for your storie. I'm sticky site lover I love suit inflations
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 08:16
#18
Inflate123 is right. Write just what you like, then the story will be good. Don't bother what other people think or what they want.
And why care so much what other thinks anyway? If you like the result of your creation, thats all that matters
Sun, 03/25/2012 - 13:58
#19
I guess he's right but please no explosion no popping and have her have unlimited air supply. And make the suit very very very stretchy. And indestructible
Thu, 03/29/2012 - 00:05
#20
RenegadeKamui
It's a shame, but I think Yull never ended up finishing his story. Too bad, I was looking forward to reading it. I may actually poach his idea for myself.
Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:04
#21
Ok.
Thu, 03/29/2012 - 15:30
#22
Would be fun to see this concept realized! If you do write it though, will it be titled (Not So) Minimum Wage?
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:30
#23
RenegadeKamui
Heh, I'm surprised someone actually remembers those old stories. Probably not, but I could probably come up with some sort of punny title rhyming "moon" and "balloon".
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:20
#24
Oh I got it! How about "Absolute Balloonacy"?
Sat, 03/31/2012 - 04:07
#25
I like that title you should use it
I was excited until it was clear it was a clothing inflation.
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