My first story

Ok, so my first ever story submission is posted.

New Technology - Experiment A
http://www.bodyinflation.org/index.php?name=Archive&op=Display&storyID=338

I kind of rushed it, so I know several things that I should have done better, not the least of which being that I didn't spend much time on the actual inflation.

I would like some feedback as to how it came out. I'm anxious and excited at the same time. Let me know, good or bad, and please be specific with any comments, criticism, etc.
Thanks!

bbwhite

Such an overwhelming response in a week. Ok, I know, I'm impatient. Perhaps I should post this in the feedback section instead. I thought it would get more attention here. Maybe I'll just talk to myself for another week first. :D

Bbwhite wanted to be a balloon,

Filled up like one, and popped like one too.