Alec's Misadventures in Wonderland

Alec's Misadventures in Wonderland

It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and he heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where -can- I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alec wondered if the Rabbit was referring to the fan and white kid gloves he had seen earlier, but he decided he wouldn't bother trying to look for them, as everything else had already disappeared.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed the young man, as he wandered aimlessly by, and called out to him in an angry tone, `Why, lad, what -are- you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' Alec ran off at once in the direction the Rabbit pointed before realizing what he was doing.

`I've let him take me for his servant!' he said to himself as he ran. `Oh well, I guess I'd better take him his fan and gloves, since he appears to be in quite the hurry--that is, if I can find them.' As he said this, he came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT' engraved upon it. He went in without knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear that the Rabbit would scold him for being too slow with his delivery.

`How queer it seems,' Alec said to himself, `to be going messages for a talking rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And he began mocking in a high voice the sort of thing that would happen: `"O Mister Alec! Come here directly, and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alec went on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if she began ordering people about like that!'

By this time he had found his way into a tidy little room with a table in the window, and on it a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: he took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when his eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,' but nevertheless he uncorked it and put it to his lips. `I know something interesting is sure to happen,' he said to himself, `whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this bottle does. I do hope it will make me a little larger. I don't want to be that rabbit's servant for the rest of my life!'

Alec took a little sip, yet nothing seemed to happen, so he decided to down half of the bottle.

He quickly regretted this course of action, as his stomach felt like it was bloating up. `My do I feel very queer!' said Alec aloud. This queer sensation wasn't precisely painful, but it was indeed quite intense and made him feel a little uncomfortable. He even felt as if he was getting heavier around the middle.

He put his hand on his belly, looked down, and then realized it was starting to swell up into his waistcoat! His belly, previously very flat, was starting to protrude like he had just finished off such a large dinner, and his waistcoat was getting quite tight, the buttons pulling taut!

`O, no,' said Alec, `I'm starting to get fat! If this goes on any further my buttons might break!' His buttons were straining at their threads, now, his waistcoat stretching to the point where one could see the white of his shirt in between the buttons.

Alec gingerly pressed on his belly, hoping that the swelling up would stop, but it had only just begun, his belly wasn't even fully round yet!

He didn't realize that he was still holding the bottle in his hand, however, and accidentally spilled the last of its contents all over his front (which, being a clear liquid, thankfully didn't stain), which rapidly seeped into as much of his clothes as it could.

While trying to wipe the liquid out, Alec realized that the waistcoat wasn't getting any tighter, but was in fact expanding itself to accommodate his girth, maintaining the same tightness it had when he spilled the bottle. `How queer,' he thought, `This growing beverage seems to serve multiple purposes! Should I find more, I could use it to fix my clothes at home should I ever outgrow them--which will be very soon!'

In addition to his belly, there was a fullness also developing in both of his buttocks, causing his pants to fill up and stretch a little, as well as in his breast, which was restricted by the tight vest.

Alec took a look at himself in the looking glass, and turned this way and that to examine his changing body--by this point his belly had achieved full roundness and was quite a bit heavy, and his two buttocks were also quite plump and getting larger. His thighs and hips were starting to widen up, too. `I'm beginning to look increasingly like that horrid fat boy who swims at the lake with us, perhaps even a bit bigger,' he thought aloud, and then he wondered would be like if his friends saw him, `O, if they see me they will start calling me names, too!'

In the time he spent staring and thinking, his waist had already doubled in size. His butt had grown to monstrous proportions (each cheek was now larger than his head), and his belly was becoming quite heavy for his back to support. To top it all off, he felt as though he had eaten a three-course dinner for a whole family!

Alec realized the urgency of the situation--he had to find a way to stop getting bigger! Then he remembered the first bottle he drank and thought, `How curious, the first time this happened there was a bottle that made me smaller and a cake that made me larger. The bottle I drank just now is making me rounder, so of course there must be a cake here somewhere that will make me thinner.'

Alec set off to test this theory at once, and walked around the little room opening every drawer and cupboard in sight (walking with the new mass felt very curious indeed, as his massive belly bobbed with every step so strongly that he required a hand to stabilize it and keep himself from falling over. His buttocks did the same thing, one after the other, at a lesser degree.) in search of such a cake, or any consumable item for that matter. He found more kid gloves, various pairs of tweezers, rolls of cloth, pens, and paper, but alas, no comestible was to be found.

He decided to try his hand in the next room (another little dressing room, as a matter of fact), trying to make his search quickly as he could (but dared not to run), and noted how dangerously close he was to being as wide as the doorway itself. Trying hard not to think too much of it, Alec proceeded to ransack the same room, opening drawers from his side as it was getting too hard to reach over the front of his belly. All he was able to find so far was another bottle saying "DRINK ME", which he put in his pocket as a last resort. Alec then proceeded to go to the sitting room.

Problem! Alec was stuck in the door way! Indeed, he was wedged right between each side of the doorway, right at the hip, under his belly and above his buttocks, the two widest points of his body. `No!' he said, panicking, `I mustn't get stuck now!' He pushed and shoved at the door frame desperately to get free, but to no avail. He was fixed at that doorway, which was now starting to cut into his skin, it was so tight!

Alec sighed, and wiped sweat off his forehead. He gave the door frame one last shove, this time with his foot, and out he shot like a bar of wet soap from under someone's foot, and flopped onto his belly with a little bounce.

`I'm definitely too big to walk through doorways now,' Alec muttered to himself. He pushed at the floor in an attempt to get back onto his feet, but his belly was too heavy. He slumped on the floor in defeat.