Post of the century.
Facepalm
Okay, one more time:
it's - a contraction of the phrase it is.
It's a good thing the helium tank emptied before all the buttons on her blouse popped off.
its - possessive pronoun of the personal pronoun it (like his or hers: he/his, she/hers, it/its)
As her tits ballooned with helium, her bra stretched tighter and tighter until its clasp failed.
you're - contraction of you are.
your - possessive
"Oh my God, your boobs popped the clasp on your bra and you're still inflating like a balloon!"
then - refers to time
First you drink the latexing formula and then you inflate yourself with the tank of helium.
than - refers to a comparison
As the helium swelled her, she became lighter than air.
couldn't care less - this means you cannot care any less than you already do - a more forceful way of saying "I don't care".
I couldn't care less if you're unable to reverse the balloon spell, you bitch.
could care less - huh? This would mean you have care to spare - in other words, you do care.
Sat, 02/18/2012 - 18:19
#3
doubleintegral
Sat, 02/18/2012 - 20:09
#4
LutherVKane
Alright, I'm going to pile on with a couple of my pet peeves. The errors you've covered are pretty common in writing in general, but there are a few that seem to be unusually common in inflation stories.
taut (adj): having no give or slack; tightly drawn
Molly's skin was frighteningly taut, not yielding in the slightest to Lori's touch.
taunt (v): Provoke or challenge (someone) with insulting remarks
"Gee, I thought you could get a lot bigger than that," Lisa said, hoping to taunt Karen into overinflating.
taught (v): past tense and past participle of teach
Although Becky's master had taught her the Chant of Deflation, she'd never found a reason to use it.
A few years back I was playing around with the site search function. I discovered that, in the majority of cases, when someone used the word taught or taunt in and inflation story they really meant to use taut.
So was it something in particular that set you off?
Sat, 02/18/2012 - 20:53
#5
SvenS
Nah. Just seemed to be encountering it much more, lately. Thought I'd have some fun with it.
Another:
they're/their/there
They're - contranction of the words they and are.
"Your boobs!" she cried, "they're shiny and taut like helium balloons!"
Their - plural possessive of the word they
Deep in the forest, the two would secretly meet to practice their inflation spells, just as the sorceress had taught them.
There - a place in time or space
There once was a girl who liked to taunt the boys with her pneumatic cleavage.
The helium potion is over there on the table.
Mon, 02/20/2012 - 04:59
#6
LutherVKane
This is kinda fun.
vial (n) - a small container, typically cylindrical and made of glass, used esp. for holding liquid medicines
Jodie uncorked the tiny vial of inflation elixir and took a sip of its contents.
vile (adj) - extremely unpleasant
The vile taste made Jodie gag, but the elixir's magic proved to be as potent as its flavor was foul; within moments she'd burst from her clothes and filled the room from floor to ceiling.
Sun, 02/19/2012 - 08:10
#7
BTBLL
And one more:
peak/pique
Peak - Top, pinacle, high point of something
They had just enough helium in them that they drifted over the peak of the mountain with only a few feet to spare.
Pique - to simulate or prod or irritate
Seeing him inflate as he did piqued her curiosity as to what it must feel like.
In a moment of pique she took all the helium in the bottle into herself so there would be none left for him.
Sun, 02/19/2012 - 12:16
#8
doubleintegral
We should make these required reading for all writers:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/ie
Mon, 02/20/2012 - 21:23
#9
airtankgirl5
"Please learn about proper paragraph structure," Airtankgirl moaned in despair.
"In what way?" Expandra asked.
"I mean, when you have several people engaging in dialogue, at the change of speaker, change the paragraph."
Bubbles looked over at them from the chair she was tied to, "What, so everytime someone
speaks you have to start a new line?"
"Precisely, it allows the reader to change the mental voice that they are reading the story in, and presents a clear sense of pace and action."
Expandra frowned, while opening the valve on a tank of helium, "Hmm I don't know about that, that seems like a lot of extra work, making a new paragraph every time someone new speaks. I really don't feel like I should have to go to all that trouble just because you think so. It's easier just to run several peoples dialogue and actions together into one big paragraph and just start new ones sorta like whenever I feel like."
"It's not just me," Airtankgirl said, her voice rising in pitch as the began bloating from the helium. "There isn't a single published author that writes all cramped and squished like that. It really sets your work off as amatuerish."
"Pretty big talk for someone who's starting to bulge out of her tights."
Airtankgirl shrugged, her over-inflated boobs bouncing inside her tight costume, "Just because you're turning me into a blimp doesn't make me wrong. A lot of people, myself included, won't even make it through that mess you call a first paragraph."
As Airtankgirl filled with helium and lifted off the ground, Expandra followed the heroines ascent with her eyes, "I'll take it under advisement."
Wed, 02/22/2012 - 15:21
#10
Well done! Educational, and... entertaining. A breath of fresh air- or, more likely, helium ;-)
Wed, 02/22/2012 - 22:09
#11
doubleintegral
Another one that gets me:
less - used to compare amounts of something that cannot be individually quantified. Example: Thanks to Carla's more potent dose of elixir, it took her less time than Jenny to inflate to the size of a house.
fewer - used to compare amounts of something that can be individually quantified. Example: However, since Carla possessed fewer doses of elixer than Jenny, she was soon dwarfed by Jenny's massive body.
Sun, 02/26/2012 - 11:07
#12
Inflate123
Thank you so much for this thread. You've already nailed a lot of my pet peeves. The wrong form of a word is like a speed bump on a highway -- I'm instantly thrown out of the rush at high speed, and it can ruin the entire experience for me.
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 19:42
#13
Saw an example of this in the Library some time ago and it is still driving me mad.
never - a shortened version of "not ever," showing resolution to not perform some act
"As she returned to the ground, naked aside from her socks and a few denim scraps, she vowed never to inflate in tight-fitting jeans again."
nether - in reference to something low or below, such as a world below ours (netherworld), or reproductive organs (nether regions)
"Still, she had to admit, the way her jeans had constricted and teased her nether regions had been most satisfying."
spell check - a computer and/or software manufacturer's ill-concieved attempt to make our lives easier, often rendered useless due to a computer's inability to read a sentence's context
"Annoyingly, her attempt to spell "nether" was misinterpreted by the spell check as "never." Considering this, she shuddered at the thought of being unable to use those parts of her body. Forget about pleasure; what about the inability to use the bathroom ever again?"
Tue, 06/26/2012 - 20:09
#14
SvenS
Ha! I didn't realize that was the etymology of "never".
two - the number 2
The two women floated to the ceiling after drinking the formula.
too - also; furthermore; extremely
She was getting too big for the room.
"When the inflato-ray hit her, she inflated too."
to - preposition
The expanding gas caused her boobs to inflate.