Celebrity Inflation Contest

“Hello, and welcome to this special edition of ‘Celebrity face off’. Tonight, we are proud to present some of the finest female singers the world has to offer – competing tonight will be: Anastacia (cheer from audience), Britney Spears (cheer), Christina Aguilera (cheer), Jennifer Lopez (cheer), Shakira (cheer) and Pink (cheer). The six ladies will face off against each other in several rounds, as usual, but tonight’s edition will focus on balloons and inflation, so we’ve added some special surprises. But before we get into that, let’s bring out our contestants…”

The audience goes wild as the six ladies step up onto the stage, some of them clearly worried about what surprises may be in store for them, others just smiling and waving as usual.

“Without further ado, let’s start round one (cheer): Now ladies, with every round, one of you will be eliminated from the contest until we have a winner (cheer). But, considering tonight’s special motto – ‘balloons and inflation’ – everyone who loses will be, in some form or another, inflated. (cheer)” The women look at each other, not sure what to think of the rules – surely, the part about the inflation cannot be serious…

ROUND 1

“In the first round, every one of you should give a short comment on why she wants to win this contest.”

Anastacia laughs and says she hopes she has a good time here at the show and that she wants to win it for all her fans (cheer). Britney Spears giggles and says that this is so crazy, but that she hopes that she will win because her fans are the greatest (cheer). Christina Aguilera says she doesn’t want to be blown up like a balloon ‘cause she has such a great, slim figure. Oh, and she thanks her fans too (cheer). Jennifer Lopez says she hopes to win because she is the sexiest of the bunch… and her fans are great too (cheer). Shakira says she always liked balloons, so she hopes she’ll do well in the game… and her fans are great too (cheer). Finally, Pink says she is the toughest of all and she thinks it will pay off… and she thanks her fans (cheer).

“Well, I think it is quite obvious who the first one out will be… (drumroll) One of the contestants seems to believe that being extremely skinny is good-looking… well, not in our show, I’m afraid: Christina Aguilera, we’ll make you look right!” Christina screams a high-pitched scream, but begins to blow up. She doesn’t grow any breasts… it’s only her belly that is becoming bigger and bigger. “This isn’t what a girl wants,” she cries as two beautiful assistants roll her off the stage.

ROUND 2

The other women stare at the large balloon that used to be Christina Aguilera, some amused, some in shock. But there is no time to think about that anymore. It’s time for round two and the rules are being announced right now:

“In this round, you’ve got to squirt water over here into the clown’s mouth, thereby filling this balloon with water. The last one to pop her balloon loses!”

The ladies take the squirt-guns and start firing away. Britney Spears quickly pops her balloon, Jennifer Lopez comes in second. The race is on between Shakira, Pink and Anastacia. Suddenly, Pink begins squirting her two opponents. “I’ll take you two out of this contest right away!” The two are momentarily distracted as Pink turns back to filling the balloon with water. Suddenly, she realizes that she has made a big mistake: There is no more water in her pistol! She can only watch in shock as Anastacia pops the balloon seconds after Shakira does.

Pink looks around in panic, at the audience and the other contestants. Then she hears a bubbling sound inside of her followed by the voice of the showmaster: “Pink, you’re becoming a water-balloon now yourself!” Pink is now at the same time shrinking and blowing up. Her body is becoming very round and as she begins to move from side to side a bit, you can hear the water in her. “I’m blowing up…” Pink screams. “…so you’d better get this party started,” the audience roars back, just as Pink completes her transformation into a water-balloon. Shakira picks up Pink and, as a revenge for squirting her with water, smashes her against the floor, popping Pink.

ROUND 3

“In round 3, you must all try to make the funniest, most creative balloon animal – if the balloon bursts, you’ve lost automatically, if none bursts, the audience will vote for the best balloon animal.” The four women were given balloons and they immediately began twisting and shaping them: Quickly, they all had a small figure finished and none of the balloons had popped. “This means we must vote…”

Jennifer Lopez holds up her version of a monkey climbing a tree. (big cheer) Britney Spears managed a nice flower – which would normally mean a disqualification because it’s not an animal, but as it’s only Britney, we’ll let it pass. (big cheer) Anastacia made a standard doggie (cheer) and finally, Shakira made a mouse (cheering… and booing!). Shakira is shocked… why?

“Oh dear, it seems you’ve made yourself quite unpopular in the audience by popping Pink… we’ll too bad, Shakira, that’s the end for you…” Shakira can feel her body taking on a new, strange form… Shakira is turning into a balloon-animal! Before becoming a cute balloon-doggie, Shakira shrugs and gives in to her fate: “…and that’s the deal my dear.”

ROUND 4

“We are now down to the final three… Anastacia, Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez! (big cheers for all of them) In this round, you must all give us your best impression of what ‘balloon-cleavage’ might be!” The three women thought about the freshly coined term a bit and then each one proceeded to give the audience a look.

Anastacia went first. As always, she had her breasts squeezed up and pressed together in her tight top. She presented her cleavage to the cameras and explained: “My breasts look so round and tight: perfect balloons… a perfect balloon cleavage.” She rubbed her breasts a bit, laughed and listened to the audience cheer for her.

Britney Spears simply stated that her breasts were already blown up like balloons… but then she excused herself and said she meant that her hormones had simply done their job. The audience was a bit confused and anxious to see J-Lo.

She was up next and had a special surprise for the audience: She had taken two balloons, blown them up and stuck them beneath her top: She really could reveal a balloon-cleavage now! The audience roared at the spectacle.

“Sorry, Britney, but you just didn’t do well enough in this round. Time for you to fly away!” Britney stared down at her boobs as they began to inflate (some more). “Oh my, what’s happening to me,” she said in a (even more) helium-like voice as she began to rise up into the air. “My boobs are inflated ‘stronger than yesterday…’,” was the last that could be heard as she drifted out of the studio, pulled upwards by her huge inflating breasts.

FINALS:

“So here are the two women who have made it to the finals: Anastacia and Jennifer Lopez. Here is the final contest: both of you will take a deep breath and then blow up a balloon – with just one breath.” Both quickly grabbed a balloon, took a deep breath and blew as long as they could. In the end, it was Anastacia that outlasted Jennifer in a shocking upset win!

Anastacia, you have the honor of eliminating Jennifer Lopez from the contest: You get to blow her up with air! “Ain’t it funny,” was all J-Lo could say before Anastacia took her lips into her mouth and then blew her up like a balloon. Then she tied a knot in her and threw her into the audience, where a lucky fan grabbed the inflated Jennifer Lopez-balloon.

“We have a winner,” the showmaster announced and Anastacia asked what her prize was. “You saw what happened to all the other girls… well, you’re the best balloon-girl of them all, so you will be the biggest balloon of them all!”

Anastacia called out in joy as her breasts began to blow up immensely, along with her belly and her butt. She was quickly a big ball with arms, legs and a head. She looked just like a balloon and happily waved to her fans as the show came to an end.