Floating for Real?

I'm listening skunk, I like the idea

Dream all you want, there is no way to make this real.  This is not "technically" impossible, but it is effectively impossible.  Helium doesn't have a good lift/volume ratio.  The math isn't there to support this.  So far I see neither evidence of feasibility, nor an actual plan, so I'm calling hijinks.

I'm probably going to bore you all senseless, but anyway:

Internal inflation followed by floating in the open air on this planet is impossible regardless of the gas used.  Cuddling up to a sufficiently large helium or hydrogen balloon, or for that matter ammonia or methane, and then floating is possible, but at the scale required it's more an unusual method of transport to me than a fetishistic activity, but then i always have a problem with scale and suspension of disbelief.  Many of us here would probably be more than fine with it.

Buoyancy in the usual atmospheric density that stands any chance of a non-exploding victim would need the gravitational pull to be about a hundred times weaker, and of course i've worked out the largest body on which is possible is Enceladus, which is a moon of Saturn.  Given that it has practically no atmosphere, it doesn't really help anyway.

The other way to go is to increase the density of the atmosphere around the inflatee, for instance with sulphur hexafluoride or xenon if you want something harmless, or with real nasties like uranium hexafluoride or radon if you don't care, or putting ordinary air under pressure and filling the person with a lighter gas.  As far as i know though, even the maximum atmospheric densities anyone has survived wouldn't be enough to make buoyancy possible with any feasible amount of lighter-than-air gas inside someone.  The scale of inflation would be completely unfeasible again.

However, most or all people are already lighter than water, so floating on water is completely feasible but also just a matter of course.  Self-inflation in water, which i've tried, leads to an odd effect where one is floating further up, on top of the water rather than in it, and in fact used to be employed by East German Olympic swimming teams to cheat.  Real life inflation in other words!

The other thing is, although it doesn't lead to your whole body floating, i think it probably would lead to internal organs doing so, which i think probably means greater distension in some positions.

One thing that I think some people here are confused about, zero G, and simulated zero G effects through aerobatic manuevers are NOT weightlessness.  They are free fall.  Totally different experiences. 

Jump off, or out, of something really tall.  That thrilling and sickening feeling as you plummet to the ground, the sensation of falling...that's zero G.  Its a lot of things but what it certainly isnt is the tranquil, relaxed feeling of floating (like being underwater and neutrally bouyant).

Indoor skydiving is a little closer except instead of feeling "floaty" you feel pushed up from below. 

Toodles :)

It's possible to create the illusion of levitation in various ways though. For instance, you can use a board with a weight at one end balanced on a pivot or a frame under the body with a pole sticking out, and there's a weird group lifting trick where several people lift someone using only a couple of fingers each. So conjuring trick style floating of an inflatee is feasible even if genuine floating isn't.