Minimum Wage, part 3: Celebrity Babysitter

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Cassandra couldn't deny that she was obsessed. When she first saw Scarlett Johansson in "Lost in Translation", she bought a DVD of every other movie she had been in. She even bought the SpongeBob SquarePants movie just to hear her voice. She had subscribed to Internet fansites, and even started one of her own. And now her obsession had driven her to move to Hollywood, join a babysitting agency specializing in celebrities, and screw her way into her supervisor's favor until he assigned Cassie her dream job. She didn't even care that he was taking more than his usual share of her pay.

Her friends didn't understand, but Miss Johansson had... changed Cassandra. She had been a normal girl with normal sexual drives before her fixation, but since then, she had lost all desire for boys. She was now only attracted to girls who resembled Scarlett. Cassie was too ashamed of this to go to a psychiatrist; the only outlet she saw was to get as close to Scarlett as she could. She felt like she'd literally explode if she couldn't be near her.

The entertainment world was shocked when Miss Johansson, a single woman, had become pregnant by sperm from an unknown donor. She denied she was a man-hater, stating that she was waiting for the one she would spend her life with, and didn't want to wait to have a child. Nevertheless, the prevailing gossip was that Scarlett was a lesbian. Although this was Cassandra's only hope of ever having a relationship with Scarlett, it still made her livid to read some of what those gossip magazines and opinion columnists had to say.

Scarlett was there when the agency introduced Cassandra to her daughter, Cheyenne, age 3. Cheyenne had immediately taken to Cassie, who for her part could do little but stand there and gawp at Miss Johansson's beauty. Fortunately, Scarlett had put this down to standard celebrity infatuation, and just blew her off. Since then, to her dismay, Cassie had barely seen Scarlett, dealing mostly with her agent.

One day, Cassandra was called over to take care of Cheyenne while Miss Johansson was attending a charity event. Since it was so hot, Cassie decided to take her swimming in Scarlett's private pool. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to swim, and while water wings were fine for Cheyenne, they weren't a graceful option for an adult. Searching the area for a floatation device of some sort, she only came up with a black rubber inner tube which looked like a relic from the fifties. Still, it would do to keep her from drowning.

She would have to inflate it first, though. It took only a minute of trying to force air into the tiny valve for her to realize that there was no way she could blow it up herself. She didn't own a bicycle, and hence she didn't have a hand pump. Pondering the situation for a moment, Cassie remembered that Miss Johansson had recently hosted a pool party catered with lots of balloons. In the clutter of the party's aftermath, the caterers had accidentally left behind one of their helium tanks. It was a cylindrical model, almost as tall as she was, with a large vertical nozzle on top for balloons, and a long hose ending in a smaller nozzle for inflatable toys of various types. The company would come by later in the week to pick it up, but they'd never miss a little extra helium, would they?

The tank rested in a wheeled hand cart, so Cassie was easily able to move it poolside. The tube's valve was so small that the hose's nozzle barely fit, but she forced it in, and with a turn of the valve handle inflation slowly commenced. To make sure the inner tube didn't float away, Cassandra stepped into it, and sat at the pool's edge, dangling her legs in the water, and listening to the hiss of the tank as she waited for the floater to come up to size.

As she sat there, Cassandra considered her relationship with Miss Johansson. Scarlett had been cold and distant at first, but she seemed to be warming to her somewhat recently. Cassie was grateful she was a girl; she had the opportunity to do things no man would have the chance to. Just before leaving for today's event, Scarlett had asked her to zip up the back of her dress. Maybe this meant she'd be asked to unzip it when she got back...

Cassie was so busy daydreaming that she didn't notice Cheyenne getting bored and looking for something to play with. Zeroing in on the helium tank, she noticed the brightly-colored handle on top. Cheyenne was an active toddler, and had little difficulty climbing to the top of the hand cart. But when she reached for the tank, she lost her footing and fell, pulling the handle fully open before her weight snapped it off.

Cassandra's reverie was suddenly interrupted by bawling behind her. "Cheyenne, are you okay?!" Quickly getting to her feet, she ran to where the child was laying on the ground. After a quick inspection, she turned out to just have a scraped knee, nothing serious. More troubling was the damage to the helium tank; Cassie groaned inwardly as she examined the broken handle. That would be coming out of Miss Johansson's deposit. And with no way to shut off the tank, all the helium would escape, which would be even MORE expensive... Cassie knew she was responsible for any damage Cheyenne inflicted while under her care, but she was barely making ends meet as it was!

Distraught over her situation, Cassie didn't notice that the tank's hissing had increased in volume until she felt a pressure around her waist. Glancing downward, she discovered that in her distracted state, she had let the inner tube overinflate, and its inward expansion had encircled her in a solid grip. She reached behind her to the valve on the tube's underside, but the nozzle was jammed in tight, and at this awkward angle she didn't have enough leverage to pull it out. Getting worried now, she pressed down on the tube as hard as she could -- and her arms slipped down the inside of the ring, getting pinned to her sides. She struggled to free them, but to no avail; she was trapped in a rubber prison which was getting tighter by the second.

Cheyenne had forgotten her fall a few moments ago, and found Cassandra's situation hilarious.

"Hehehehehe! Cassie you stuck!"

"This is *NOT* funny, Cheyenne!" And indeed it wasn't: the old inner tube had thick walls, and she was worried that she'd be deafened when it finally popped, or even cut in half if the pressure continued to mount. In desperation, she ran to the end of her slack, but the nozzle wedged in the valve stopped her short. She strained to take another step, but couldn't break free of her tether. In a fit of impatience, she tried leaping forward -- and shrieked in fright as her buoyant bondage carried her a dozen feet into the air! With the hose still firmly attached, Cassie was drawn into a backward arc before landing hard on her butt.

*RIP* "OoF!" Cassie grunted as she came down. As she shook off her disorientation, she noticed that she was experiencing a certain sensation she hadn't felt since her supervisor had assigned her this job, and also one that she had never experienced at all: the pressure from outside was being answered from within. She suddenly realized that she had landed right smack on the helium tank, and the nozzle had ripped through her bikini bottom -- and kept going. It was now pumping that damned helium directly into her!

With the top nozzle active, the flow from the hose seemed to have ceased, so one of her problems was temporarily on hold. But if she didn't stop inflating quickly, she would burst something more precious to her than an old inner tube. Yet no matter what she tried, she couldn't get loose. Her arms were still bound and useless. She scrabbled against the tank with her legs, but her wet feet found no purchase on the smooth metal. She leaned backwards, but the buoyant inner tube counterbalanced enough of her weight to keep her from falling off. She wiggled her hips, trying to give the gas a way to escape, but the rubber nozzle's surface was designed to grip a balloon's neck, and now it had a tenacious hold on her burgeoning backside.

"Cassie, your butt get big!"

"Grrrr, I know, I KNOW!" As her lower body approached its capacity for expansion, her growth began to slow, and the tension mounted. Cassie winced in fear at the groans and creaks emanating from her ass and thighs. Just when she thought she couldn't take any more, the pressure of her rear against the top of the tank finally popped the nozzle out of her. But Cassie's momentary relief quickly turned to fright as she pitched backwards. Scrunching her eyes shut, she prepared for the mother of all headaches -- but when it didn't come, she opened them, and saw to her horror that instead of falling to the deck, she was slowly rising into the air!

"YAAAAAAAAAY! Cassie, you a balloon!"

"HEEEEEEEEELP ME CHEYENNE!" Her ascent was lethargic at first, but with the inner tube once again inflating, she slowly began to accelerate. When she reached the end of her fifteen-foot tether, the sudden jolt pulled the nozzle loose with a sickening *pop*.

Cassandra never figured out exactly how it happened. As she swung around, she had gasped in fear, and somehow she must have sucked the free end of the hose down her throat. When the disorientation passed, she found herself biting down on it for dear life, the only thing keeping her from being lost to the sky. But her lifeline came with a price; for the maddening flow of helium continued unabated, blowing up her lithe body like a rubber inner tube. Her belly swelled, rising up on her torso as its downward expansion was checked by her restraint. Her burgeoning breasts overflowed the cups of her bikini top, their protruding nipples tenting the fabric until it snapped open in front. Cassie was at least grateful that Cheyenne was distracted chasing a butterfly around the pool deck, saving her the indignity of exposing herself in front of (or above) a child.

But her gratitude turned to terror, as she saw the helium tank wobble in its cart! As the cylinder slowly began to rise, Cheyenne noticed what was going on and ran over. "I hold you down, Cassie!" There were carrying handles on the end of the tank, and she grabbed hold of them as it lost contact with the ground. Cassandra tried to scream at her to let go, save herself, but only muffled grunts emerged from her obstructed throat and clenched teeth. And as the last of the helium trickled into Cassie, Cheyenne's feet lost contact with the ground, and she was carried away, giggling and squealing with delight, on a lazy afternoon breeze.

As she gained altitude and drifted from the suburbs to downtown L.A., Cassandra began to despair of ever coming back to Earth in one piece. Fortunately for her, the hot midday sun beat down on the black inner tube, heating the helium inside and causing it to expand until the rubber finally reached its limit.

The attendees of Scarlett's outdoor charity event were startled when they heard a loud *BOOM*, followed by a shower of black rubber shards. Looking up, they saw what appeared to be a large pink balloon slowly descending toward them. As it drew closer, they saw the helium tank dangling from its tether, and then the small child dangling from the tank. For a few moments, everyone was speechless at this unusual sight, but when Scarlett finally recognized Cheyenne and shrieked in fright, all hell broke loose. Fighting her way to the center of the crowd gathered under the tank, she snatched her daughter off the tank as soon as she got within reach. Photographers immediately began snapping pictures of the relieved mother and daughter.

Cassandra would have screamed if she had her mouth free. With her ballast gone, she was rising again, and she knew she would have to release the tank and deflate quickly, before she gained too much altitude. But Scarlett, sweet Scarlett, was still directly underneath her, and everyone was too wrapped up in that little brat to notice the damsel in distress right above them. If she let go now, the tank would land right on her head. She tried to grab the hose, but her inflated arms were too turgid to reach around. And the breeze that had carried her here had chosen this moment to die down, so she remained dead-centered over Scarlett even as she continued to float away. It was her or Scarlett! What to do, what to do...

In the end, the decision was made for her. The perfume wafting up from the crowd tickled Cassandra's nose until she couldn't hold back a sneeze any longer. As the hose fell out of her throat, the helium in her body finally found an exit. Cassie didn't hear the clang of the tank landing on Scarlett's head; the torrential rush of gas from her mouth sent her spiraling away into the distance.

It took hours for the fire department to reach Cassie where she was hanging from a horizontal flagpole on the side of a skyscraper. Hanging upwards, that is: her swollen backside held shut the only way the helium in her ass and thighs could escape, and though she grunted and groaned, squeezed and strained, and contorted her legs into every conceivable position, still the gas found no release. Far below her, she was certain she could make out the shapes of news vans, and cameras with telephoto lenses filming her predicament for the nightly news. Finally, she had been hauled down, and after one final indignity she was grounded and back on her feet again.

Cassandra spent a week in jail, awaiting trial on charges of child endangerment. She was relieved to learn that Cheyenne had not been hurt. Scarlett, however, had suffered a minor concussion, and would have to bow out of her current film production. At the end of the week, the district attorney's office reluctantly concluded that the case was too bizarre to try, and Cassie was released.

When she finally made it to her apartment, her last paycheck and the restraining order were waiting for her.


Scarlett retrieved a bottle of Perrier from the fridge and walked out the back door to the pool. Her doctor had ordered her not to do any work while she recovered, which meant leaving Cheyenne with a day care center. She didn't trust babysitters after her experience with that creepy girl who had taken her daughter for an airborne joyride. Now that she thought about it, the girl had clearly been infatuated with her; it was obvious from the way she had behaved whenever Scarlett was around. That would explain why her underwear drawer always seemed to have been rummaged through, and why she was always there when Scarlett needed help getting dressed or undressed. And the inflation incident -- she must have been pleasuring herself with the helium tank, and lost control of the situation! Certainly the explanation she had given the police defied all probability. At least with a restraining order, if that pervert ever showed her face in front of her again, she'd be doing hard time.

Cassandra watched through a hole in the pool fence as Scarlett lazed in the lounge chair and greedily guzzled the expensive bottled water. If that heartbreaking harlot thought she had gotten the better of her, she had another thing coming. Early that morning, Cassie had snuck into the catering company and, using a special high-pressure helium tank, had super-carbonated a bottle of water. She had then broken into Scarlett's house and dumped out the Perrier bottle in the fridge, replacing it with the doctored water. Any moment now, the fun should be starting...

Scarlett snapped to attention as she noticed that, although she had been laying perfectly still, her thighs had started to touch for some reason. As she repositioned her legs, trying to get more comfortable, she felt her bikini bottom shifting around on her backside. A gurgling sensation in her stomach brought her hands to her abdomen, where she felt a growing pressure begin to distend her flat belly. Looking down at her body, she was alarmed to see her breasts pushing against her top, peeking out at her from under the fabric.

Sneaking around to the gate, Cassie used a zip tie to bind it shut. By the time that hussy figured out what was happening, she would be too light to have enough leverage to force it open. And with the gate closed, the only way past the fence, was up...

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