Smart Girls

Or, “Brainy Beauties Blow the Biggest Balloons”

Professor Beth Maiden could have been a model, with her long legs, slender body, and pert, golden breasts. Yet instead she chose the fields of biochemistry and psychology. Along the way, she met many a man who was intimidated by her vast intellect, and it instilled in her a contempt for the male gender, which she usually suppressed well.

She stood behind the plexiglass in her long, white labcoat, her gorgeous brown eyes covered by her large, prominent glasses, and her hair tied in a ponytail behind her, which did nothing to disguise her obvious sexuality, so it defies explanation as to why women even try this.

Behind her were several young med students, all female, all inexplicably intelligent for their young college-aged years. A petite blonde snapped her bubble gum, a gorgeous redhead twirled her pen in her fingers, and a dutiful brunette took notes as Professor Maiden continued.

“As you can see in our experiment chamber, we have a subject tied to a chair in front of the large movie screen.”

Indeed, a man of indeterminate age sat as Beth described him: Tied to a chair, sitting in front of a large, blank screen. He was dressed only in a white jumpsuit, the purpose of which was unclear to him. But when a hot young professor asks you to participate in an experiment that involves her tying him up, he couldn’t refuse.

“Now,” Beth began again, “after we’ve injected him with the formula I described to you--and by the way, there will be a test on that--watch what happens when we show him these pictures.”

Suddenly, in the test chamber, the male subject looked up at the movie screen, which had just become filled with the image of Jessica Simpson in her Daisy Duke shorts.

“Mmmm,” the subject grunted, who fixed his eyes closely on the screen. And then his eyes widened as he heard a hissing sound. He looked down to see his body plumping up.

The collection of intelligent females looked on from the observation booth. The young blonde giggled. “Tee hee! He’s getting fatter!”

“Shhh,” Beth gently reprimanded, and they continued to watch.

The subject looked down at his bloating body, his arms and legs all plumped up, his chest expanded, his white jumpsuit stretched out in front of him as he seemed to be getting fatter, just as the blonde had pointed out. He squirmed in his chair a little, the cloth ropes pressing tighter into his wrists as his arms inflated. His chair got increasingly snug as his torso and backside took up more space in the chair. But soon, the hissing died down and the subject stopped growing, yet sitting full and fat in his chair.

Beth turned to her attractive students. “As you can see, the inflation was triggered by the sexually stimulating image. Watch again, please.” She pressed a button on the console in front of her. And in front of the subject, the movie screen changed from Jessica Simpson’s shorts to the back of Jennifer Lopez’s tight leather pants.

“Mmmm!” the subject mumbled, his pleasurable groan mixing in with the hissing sound, which had begun again in earnest. His body plumped up further, as if gaining weight in every part of his body, yet he seemed lighter, like an inflatable doll. He squirmed a little more, but seldom did he take his eyes off J. Lo’s ass, even as he inflated larger and larger. But, as it did before, the hissing and the bloating eventually faded, and he sighed as he watched the screen.

“Note that the initial shock of the subject’s expansion has faded,” Beth pointed out to her hot rookie scientists. “Even as he struggles to accept that his body is inflating against his will, he continues to view the sexually stimulating image. Watch again, please.” She pressed another button.

J. Lo’s ass was immediately replaced by a giant shot of Heidi Klum’s bounteous cleavage. The subject sighed again, and his body once again swelled, creaking as it struggled against his bonds, until--SNAP! His pudgy arms broke free of the flimsy cloth shackles. CRACKLE! The chair creaked under him as it was pushed apart by his expanding figure. POP! Like a cork, he popped out of his chair, pushed out by his expansion, until he bounced gently on the floor in front of the giant screen. He was free of his confines, but now he was so ball-shaped that he could no longer move. However, as he stared at those magnificent German breasts, he didn’t seem to want to leave. Eventually, the subject’s inflation slowed, and the hissing stopped.

The blonde giggled again. “Look! He’s a balloon ball!”

“Shhh!” Beth reminded her. “Note that the subject is still apparently more concerned with the sexual images than his inflation. Watch his reaction as we continue.”

So Beth pressed the button again, and on the screen was Eva Longoria in a bikini. The subject sighed, the hissing re-commenced, and his inflation began anew. The white jumpsuit hugged his body as he blew up like a balloon, stretching the suit tighter and tighter, his own skin getting equally taut as he filled up more and more. This time, he didn’t even look at his growing, globular body. The hissing was only background noise as he stared at that fun-sized Latina beauty. He swelled for several more seconds, before slowly, ever so slowly, coming to a stop.

The blonde couldn’t hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing. “Oh, Gawd! He’s so big! Can we go in there and bounce him?”

The redhead looked at her, rolled her eyes, and blew another bubble.

Beth ignored the remark. “We shall continue. Please keep note of the subject’s reaction.” She pressed another button.

Next on screen was Kate Beckinsale in her tight leather Underworld outfit. Then came a shot of Jessica Biel’s butt in the tight jeans she wore in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Then came Marion Raven in her revealing, low-cut leather jacket.

[What do you mean, “Who’s Marion Raven?” She’s going to be huge someday, so shut up. Anyway...]

With each picture, the subject grew larger, filling out like a human balloon, becoming rounder as the last of his human shape was replaced by ever-expanding roundness, his arms and legs completely disappearing, his head, hands and feet still visible but noticeably bloated. All the while, the hissing sound accompanied the sight of the large, white balloon ball getting ever bigger and bigger and bigger...

“Is he going to pop?!” the blonde called out.

If Beth smiled at the remark, she quickly repressed it. “Just keep watching and see.”

The back of Halle Berry’s Catwoman outfit. Alyssa Milano surrounded by balloons. The underside of Anna Kournikova’s tennis skirt. Jessica Alba’s “Invisible Woman” tights.

All the while, the subject grew, and grew, and grew some more. He was rapidly filling up the experiment chamber, becoming as large as an elephant, ... a mack truck... a small house. The hissing grew louder, the white jumpsuit became increasingly taut. Squeaking noises echoed off the far walls, although it was unclear if they were coming from the suit or the subject’s body.

“Ooooh, he can’t get much bigger!” said the blonde. “It’s going to happen, I can feel it! I can feel the big bang coming!”

No one said anything. The brunette had stopped taking notes, to look amazedly at the giant balloon inflating in the chamber. The redhead stopped chewing her gum. Beth gave perhaps the faintest glimmer of a smirk.

Shakira’s hips. The subject grew. Scarlett Johansson’s perfect breasts. He grew. Stacy Keibler’s legs and ass. He grew! Lindsay Lohan, Danica Patrick, Rachel Bilson, Maria Sharapova, Jennifer Love Hewitt! He grew, and he grew and he GREW...!!

The blonde’s mouth fell open as she stared wide-eyed in ecstatic anticipation.

The squeaks came more frequently, getting louder and louder, competing with the hissing sound coming from the subject’s round, almost completely circular body, which trembled slightly as more and more air seemed to be magically packed inside it. Tighter and tighter the jumpsuit stretched to contain him. He was so large, so unbelievably huge, little more than a giant, shiny white balloon that kept stretching into space. The hissing reached a higher and higher pitch as he neared what had to be his fullest capacity...

“MMMMPHH!” The dreamy expression fell from the subject’s face, as he tore his eyes off the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Marissa Miller and looked around to see just how big he had gotten. All he could see around him was a white, curved surface, which he realized was the horizon of his planet-shaped body. He could still see the movie screen in front of him, but as if finally recognizing what was causing his inflation, he closed his eyes tightly, saving him from what could possibly have been a lethal dose of Britney Spears.

The observing beauties watched in silence as the subject’s body, so tight and gigantic, finally stopped its unprecedented growth.

The redhead shrugged, blew a bubble, and popped it on her lovely nose.

“He’s...so...BIG!” the blonde sputtered out.

“Come with me, class,” said Beth, and she led the students from the booth and into the testing chamber. There they stood in front of the only human balloon they’d ever seen, which also happened to be the biggest balloon any of them had personally witnessed.

Beth drew a remote from her pocket, and clicked it at the screen, which promptly went blank.

“It’s all right, sir,” said Beth. “The experiment is over.”

Gingerly, the subject’s left eye opened. There was no light coming from the screen in his peripheral vision, so he gingerly opened his other eye and looked around. Once again, he sighed, but this time it was in relief, and not in sexual gratification. “Thank God!” he said.

And then Beth flung open her labcoat to reveal that she wore nothing underneath. Just her perfect, lean, athletic, golden-tanned body with breasts that defied gravity.

“Mmmm!” The subject moaned, the dreamy expression coming over his face, seemingly oblivious to the returning sounds of hissing, of squeaking, of a giant balloon being inflated beyond its limits. All his attention was fixated on Beth’s beautiful, shapely, curvaceous, flawless naked body. And he got bigger... and bigger... and just ever so slightly bigger...!! When suddenly--

BOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

“Whoo-HOO!” screamed the blonde, clapping.

Beth casually brushed off pieces of white jumpsuit from the shoulder of her labcoat, which she closed up again before turning to her students. “Now, class, what have we learned from this?”

The brunette gingerly raised her hand. “That sexual gratification in males often supersedes the survival instinct?”

“No,” said Beth flatly.

The redhead raised her index finger. “That men are stupid?”

“Better,” said Beth, grinning.

The blonde raised her hand high over her head, supporting her arm with her opposite hand. “Oh! Oh! Oh! I got it!”

“Yes?” asked Beth.

The blonde beamed. “We’ve learned that girls are smarter than boys, and we should prove it again by getting dozens more to pop like balloons for us!”

“That’s correct,” said Beth, as a big smile spread across her lovely face. “That’s an ‘A’ for you, missy!”

“Misty,” the blonde corrected her, but Beth was already busy bringing in the next subject.