http://banzure.deviantart.com/art/Squeak-happens-469482685
Give it a read, tell me what you think. Be honest. Unless you hate it, then please lie to me :-P
Why did you write this in the present tense? I can see what you were going for but it got distracting. I liked how you kept the pace flowing. Nice descriptions of both girls.
Why did you write this in the present tense? I can see what you were going for but it got distracting. I liked how you kept the pace flowing. Nice descriptions of both girls.