Tanja Goes POP!

Tanja Schaefer was an above-average looking young girl at Centenary College. A German "international" student, and quite involved in her responsibilities on and off-campus. Like many Germans, she was into drink.

Dressed in her usual kind-of-unusual-but-stylish outfit, this time a pair of well-fitting gray jeans with a white linen shirt, shimmering jacket, tied together by a wide brown belt.

Tanja, I had to say it, was kind of flirty. She was also kind of rigid. She would usually hang out with her plain and mundane-looking friend, Patty (I've made up the name), at the Country Tavern, a casual bar/restaurant at the edge of Shreveport, Louisiana, at the opposite side of town from the college.

To save time, I'll just make the story short and sweet.--

The First Night.

At the Country Tavern. Tanja's drinking with her friend, a glass of white wine, cheap, which gets refilled. The friend sighs and looks exasperatedly at her. Little does she know she is in for an unusual sight.

An old man, bum-looking, with greasy hands, approaches Tanja from behind, to the side. Tanja drinks her drink, unawares. The old man approaches her, reaches his greasy hands out to her. And she starts inflating.

"Oh, Sorry," Tanja says, looking backwards a little at the old man. "I tend to do that to people I don't like. Get away." She is able to say this respectfully, but flippantly.

The old man sighs. He is obviously drunk and hard up. "Can't I touch just a little bit? Just a little feel?" He is desperate.

Tanja sighs. She is still inflating. It almost looks like it is beyond her control. "Patty" is looking at her, sitting at Tanja's left, with her mouth open, agape.

"Just get away from me," Tanja says. "You creep." The top of her is starting to approach the low ceiling now. A barmaid filling a glass is so captivated by the sight of the inflated Tanja that the beer that she is pouring is going everywhere. Patty drops her drink and it falls to the floor. Her hand is being nudged by Tanja's inflating form -- the seats are quite intimate, you see, at this little bar.

"Just a little--" the man's eyes widen, as he realizes now, that even if he touches her, he won't really be touching Tanja -- like with a porcupine puffer fish, he will be touching some kind of imaginary periphery. For him there would be no intimacy tonight -- not with this woman, anyway. He walks off.

"Phew", Tanja says. A moment later, she deflates. "That is so annoying." She drinks.

The barmaid says, "would you like another drink?"

Her friend hopes that it never happens again.

Fade to black.

--

Night 2 -- the Country Tavern.

Patty and Tanja, at the same positions, are in the bar. Tanja's drinking her usual glass of white wine, which she will follow with a beer later on. "Patty" is texting. Tanja sips her drink coolly.

Suddenly, she is approached by a young man from behind. He is getting his cell phone out.

Tanja feels a hint of annoyance.

Patty is getting a little excited, and looks at the boy askance -- the purpose of these trips, after all, is to get drunk, hang out, and flirt.

"Excuse me, but can I have your number?" The boy asks. He is quite the opposite of the old bum -- well-spoken, well-mannered, dressed well.

"No." Tanja says, flatly. ...Then we see a gleam of interest in her eyes. "...Why? I don't give it out to just anybody, you know."

The boy, sidling up to her, says "because you're the most beautiful girl I've seen tonight." He is looking at her. "I want to make it with you," he says. How straightforward of him!

Tanja seems pleased. "Sit down here," she says, pointing to the barstool next to her.

Inside, Patty feels a hint of rage. She wishes she could be in Tanja's seat. She had wished the boy would talk to her.

Later, Tanja loses interest. Instead of listening to the boy, who is talking excitedly, she starts to inflate. I wish you would get away from me, she thinks. But she can't really say it, the boy might be disappointed in her.

"Uhh..." the boy says, looking at her expansion and growth. "May I say something?"

Tanja sips her drink. "It's perfectly natural." She says, inflating. "I suggest you get away from me."

Inside, Patty is seething. How dare this bitch turn down this gentleman? She could have had him for herself...

"Uh, excuse me," the boy says, as his shoulder meets and is pushed back by Tanja's inflating upper torso. "Excuse me!" He says. The barmaid is amazed at Tanja's form, pouring some kind of drink all onto the floor. Tanja coolly finishes sipping down her drink, and drinks the last gulp.

"Get away from me." She says. "I don't mean to be impolite. Please."

The boy stutters, stammeringly gets up from his bar stool, and does what she says, taking one last long look at her, and leaves dejectedly.

Inside, Tanja's "friend" "Patty" is seething.

"I enjoy these nights of ours." Tanja says, her form deflating, her jacket ruffling, her belt setting back into place, her jeans re-thinning. "I do enjoy these nights of ours."

Her friend is seething inside. Tanja looks satisfied.

"Bottoms up!"

--

Night 3-- Final Night, at the Country Tavern.

Tanja and "Patty" are sitting at the bar again. They are in their usual left-to-right positions on their chairs.

Patty is texting furiously, hopelessly frustrated, but we have no idea whom she is texting to. Tanja, to her right, as usual, is coolly sipping a drink.

To Patty's surprise and Tanja's interest, two boys approach them this time. With perfect bodies. And perfect smiles. They're the perfect men.

Oh my god, a God! Patty thinks, her heart in her mouth. She sets her sights on the man on her left. And to her pleasure, she catches him.

"I'm Troy," he says, introducing himself. "And you?" Patty is in wonder.

The other guy starts talking to Tanja, even brushing her hand and hair from time to time. She doesn't seem to notice. She looks at him with flirtation in her eyes -- she's going to catch him!

Her guy (let's call him "Arnold") looks at and talks with her with interest. A seemingly nice guy.

Meanwhile, Patty and "Troy" get to their talking.

It's looking to be a successful night. Out of the three criteria -- getting drunk, hanging out, and having sex -- all three are accomplished, but one. Will it be a successful night?

Someone spills a drink.

"Oh God," Tanja says, starting to inflate. It has spilled all over her boobs. And all over her nice linen shirt. And all over her belt. And all over her jeans. "Oh God," she said. "I'm ruined!"

"I'm sorry," the man says. "I can clean it up for you, here, it will be okay," he says, extending a napkin towards her, him the representation of understanding.

"No, uh," Tanja's inflating, facing towards the guy on the barstool, looking herself down with horror. "Ah," she fumbles, snatching his napkin from him, scrubbing her shirt with it. The stain gets bigger, it gets worse. She gets bigger.

"Ah," the guy stares at her in surprise.

She fumbles with her shirt, the whole ensemble -- this would take her a whole night to fix! Oh God! She puts both of her hands in her hair! She's bigger than both! Both college athletes!

The barmaid looks up at Tanja. She tut-tut-tuts. Three nights in a row? Geezus gosh.

Meanwhile, she drops her glass.

Patty is holding the hand and talking like a childhood friend to the "Troy" guy who is across from her. She looks like she really might make it!

Tanja, in frustration, scrubs at her shirt, and tidies her clothes, in frustration, pointlessness. She waves her hand in an away gesture towards Arnold. "Sorry," Tanja says. "It'll have to wait until another time!"

"But what --?" The guy whimpers.

"No!" says Tanja, waving at him. She's growing larger, and getting to her feet now. The barstool area won't be enough to accomodate her growing form. "Go!" She says to him. Her back is to the back of Patty now. Patty's guy is now looking at Tanja with concern, but he fixes his eyes back on Patty and smiles. He wouldn't want to concern Patty.

"Oh God!" Tanja says flustered. "Why, on this night!" She furiously scrubs her shirt.

"Let me help you--" "Arnold" says but she hurriedly brushes him away. She's growing even more now, and the ensemble is growing with her. But what's the use? It'll all go back to normal and be ruined still once she deflates anyway, she thinks.

Tanja mewls now, she is getting hopelessly frustrated. Her head is approaching the ceiling and the Arnold extends a helping hand to her.

"Let me help you --"

"GO!" says Tanja, trying to fix herself. (By the way, I should tell you, it's not going to work).

"The Arnold" leaves the scene, rushing out of the Country Tavern's doors. "See you later, Troy!"

"Huh?" Troy says, glancing at him. "Okay!" he says absent-mindedly.

Patty was in a state of wonder but it was disrupted by the elbows on the side of her face nudging into her from the frantic Tanja, still trying to help herself.

"Can I do something about that? says the barmaid. Not helping at all.

"Oh God, what's the use, this is never going to work!" Tanja complains, she's still growing at quite a rate and approaching her full size . For perspective, it's like putting an elephant in a cage. Her back is pushing Patty, Patty having to literally bend her body over forwards to accomodate the expanded Tanja, who doesn't seem at all to notice Patty or care about her plight. She only seems concerned about herself.

"Why tonight!" Tanja wails to herself.

ARRRGH!! Patty thinks, still holding the hands of Troy, still attempting to smile at him. She is now bent over almost 90 degrees, uncomfortable, putting on a brave face for Troy. The shadow of Tanja is now covering her and her love-partner.

Tanja starts nearing her full size. Starts approaching it like a train, but gradually slowing down, like a train into its station. Tanja's mood slows with it. "Ahh", she says. "Another unsuccessful night," she says, plopping back down onto the barstool to take a drink. Her body pushing Patty all the way it can now, Patty is fully extended into Troy's face.

"Uh, do you want to call it a night?" Troy says. "This is getting to be... awkward."

Patty slowly starts looking at Tanja.

"Yeah," Tanja says. She finishes sipping her drink. She looks at Patty. "Let's go."

Patty is now furious.

Patty is now starting to think dark thoughts about Tanja.

"Tanja?" she says sweetly, slowly craning her neck, as far as it is able, towards her "wing-girl." "Precious?"

"Yes?" Tanja says, and her belt abruptly SNAPS in two.

The flying buckle of it hits Patty square in the face.

She waives it off emotionally, as if it had been a fly dancing into her field of view.

"Tanja... sweetie? Would you mind staying inflated...? Please?"

"Why?" Tanja says, haughtily, deflating, clothes going back to normal. "I only do it in emergencies? Can't you see what it has done to my clothes?"

Patty grinds her teeth and smiles as sweetly as she can. Troy looks at her, starting to get really worried.

"I'm slowly deflating," Tanja says. "We'll talk about it later. She was about to reach her half-size size. Her clothes were gradually starting to put themselves in place. She seemed satisfied with herself.

GRRRRRR! Patty thinks to herself, smiles as sweetly as she possibly can, even further than her last grin. You can now see the edge of her smiling brushing the edge of her face. A big toothy grin.

"Tanja...? Please?"

"Only in emergencies," Tanja says, looking at the bar. "Can I have another drink?"

SPLASH!

In the meantime, Patty had turned about clockwise, grabbed a tray full of liquor, and dumped it all onto Tanja.

"You Bitch!" Tanja says.

"Takes one to know one," Patty says haughtily.

The barmaid only tsk-tsks. "It looks like you all'll be paying for all this."

"I'll pay for it," helpfully Troy reaches into his jacket pocket. "Check please!" Now back to Tanja.

Turning the attention back to Tanja,

"Gasp!" Tanja exclaims, as her inflation doubles forward. "I'm growing too fast to get into my belt!" She says, having retrieved it from the floor. She is trying to put it on. "Patty help me! We've got to get home!" She pulls it down around her but is unsuccessful. "Patty, this is a very expensive belt! Please help me put it on!" Patty smiles and clasps the belt shut with one finger. "Thank God! Tonight, of all nights!"

Then the belt pops off again.

"Oh God DAMN it!"

"Last belt for you tonight, Tanja!" and Patty throws a drink at Tanja, getting some wine into Tanja's face and splashing some RED wine onto her torso. RED. That would leave a mark.

"Gasp!" Tanja exlaims, getting bigger by the moment! "Patty! Patty! What should I do?! What should we do?! We need to get home!"

Patty merely puts a smug look on her face and hooks her arm through Troy's. Admiring her handiwork, she stands back to look at Tanja. Nervous, Troy is picking his lip.

"At ease, Troy," Patty says to him, expecting him to walk out. "Good dog."

Tanja's past 3/4's of her full size. She's getting positively voluminous now. The barmaid, in the background, annoyed, is wondering how in the hell she is going to clean all this up tonight. Doesn't anybody help her out?

Meanwhile, Patty, strollin' towards Tanja, says: "Happy now?"

Tanja's getting close to full size..."Happy?"

Patty smirks and gets even closer. "You haven't got a clue." Within a pinprick's distance of her (that's a clue).

Tanja says: "...About what?"

"That I hate you," Patty says flippantly, and... slowly pulling a toothpicked olive from a cocktail glass... sliding the olive off the toothpick, with her teeth... poking it right up next to Tanja... Tanja is rapidly approaching her full size.

"Troy, stay, watch," as Tanja stands agape. Troy is trying to get away like a punished dog. "Watch." She pushes the toothpick into Tanja.

"Wait!" Tanja says. "Patty! Please! I'm full! What are you doing?! What the hell?! PATTY! Please let me

POP!

Tanja hadn't noticed. She had been at her full size.

"Goodnight Troy," said Patty, flicking the toothpick away. "Goodnight barmaid." She strolled out.

"Goodnight," said the barmaid.

"Goodnight", says Tanja, a piece of her face floating to the floor.

The barmaid knew it would take a hell of a lot of time to clean this up... just what would she do with the mess? What would it take to piece back together an overinflated German girl? What the heck? Whine whine whine... People didn't understand her job!

Tanja's mouth formed into a frown. She would have to wait out the moaning of the serving-girl. Sheesh.

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