I'm bored as hell at work and today marks the release of what looks like WB's latest post-Wonka deal cash grab effort. Funny enough the voice cast is stacked in the peripheries with seemingly nobodies in the lead roles. In honor of that I'd like to have a thread cheonicaling everyone's preferred joke castings of a future Wonka reboot that is sure to happen. I guess I'll start.
Wonka: Matthew McConaughey- I can't take this prospect seriously at all. Imagine Matt playing Wonka with the seriousness of a role like Interstellar but with the swag of The Lincoln Lawyer. It's absolutely fucking stupid and yet hilariously works.
Charlie: Jimmy Fallon- Imagine a movie where Jimmy Fallon as the lead plays an obnoxiously "good hearted" kid-at-heart that is ultimately annoying that everyone wants to strangle. Jimmy Fallon basically would play himself as Charlie. The movie would become completely unwatchable. The Room levels of badness. Now let's roll with it.
Grandpa Joe: Robert De Niro- RDN mercilessly cusses out Jimmy Charlie Fallon throughout the whole movie for being poor while also verbally abusing everyone in the movie. He would totally steal the fuzzy limiting drinks and throw Charlie under the bus for it.
Oompa Loompas: Danny DeVito- This just fucking writes itself. It's almost too obvious and easy but I like it. I'm just imagining multiple Danny DeVitos synchronized dancing in circles calling all the kids jackasses.
I can't think of any other particularly funny castings atm but maybe someone else will?
Nice shitpost brah.