IRL inflation?

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throwaway420
IRL inflation?

So, I've tried inflating myself with a buke pump orally, but it just doesn't work. I've tried anally, it hurts after the 2nd press and after i remove the pump the air just comes out with a long and loud fart. Are there any more ways i can inflate myself(except for cola and mentos, I don't like Cola)? Thx in advance!