Need help with Fiancé

23 posts / 0 new

Sun, 01/31/2021 - 12:30

Layla50

_{Hi everyone,}

my fiancé is really into body inflation. He wants to role play but then tells me he's uncomfortable. I've never done any of this, but I really want to make him comfortable and spice things up. I have no idea what I'm doing and could really use some advice and tips. Also not sure if this is something that can be even role played in real life or if I would have to do this all over text. Any help would be appreciated. I would really like to surprise him with something, but I also don't know if it would make him uncomfortable. Any friendly advice is welcomed.

Sun, 01/31/2021 - 13:20

Pennsylvania Ki...

Kudos to you firstly for entertaining the idea of his fetish. For a lot of people with this interest it can be really tough to open up to others about it because it's so from left-field. I imagine there's going to be a mix of advice from people beyond me and perhaps from some who are lucky enough to have a significant other participating in their fantasy. While I'm not in that position, I think we can start by ironing out the allure and realism aspects that can be imitated — but honestly there's very little of the latter.

I'd guess that by his interest and yet hesitation, he might realize that much of the fanstastical scenarios he's thinking of are really outside the realm of possibility, and that gets a little hard to imagine finding the same draw in the bedroom, outside the screen. And he's also probably concerned whether you'd find it enjoyable as well, or just strange or silly. So much of the art and stories involve the body physically expanding, but we can only really do that with costumes and props.

Also, I'm assuming it's you who he wants to be the inflatee. He probably envisions you bustier, curvier, altogether rounder. If this sounds like something you wouldn't mind "becoming" in his fantasy scenario, you're likely off to a good start! There's lots of different ways for inflatees to wind up interpreting their situation with their new proportions: helplessness (getting too big to move, and your inflator can have their way with you), fullness (talking about the "pressure" and how surreal the changes feel), confidence/appreciativeness ("look at the size of these things!") — there's probably a million more ways to play things out in a way that feels natural to you. But playing into the fascination of being larger, more stacked, more sexier is likely the biggest driver of your interactions together.

Being a writer, I think it's so true that text makes a good medium to dive deep into the imagination but it can be as clunky or awkward as trying to act things out in reality. Maybe a good place to start is to find some pillows and oversized clothes for you to wear and try stuffing them underneath. Some other users may have sophisticated ideas with inflatable suits and balloons, but I'd say the best way for you to get your feet wet and see how it feels for you to be the large one, and to gather his reactions, you start simple. :)

An important thing to understand is that no one has the exact same interpretation of their ideal inflation subject, so, while you may be browsing images and stories here to gather some understanding, these are mainly the ideal portrayals of the artists and authors and not necessarily what your fiancé has in mind for you. These are probably further conversations for you to have together.

Good luck to you both!

Check out my stories that I've written...!

Mon, 02/01/2021 - 17:36

(Reply to #2) #3

Layla50

Thank you so much for the advice. One thing I'm am worried about is being awkward. I want him to be as comfortable as possible and if I'm awkward, I know he will be. He's still very uncomfortable with his fetish too. I know I don't fully understand it, but everyone has their kinks. It's not illegally, it's not harming anyone, so why should it matter. I think he also feels like it won't turn me on. The truth is, it doesn't. But idk how to make him realize that the fact that it's not a turn on for me doesn't mean we can't have fun with it. In my eyes, if he's turned on and I can tell, that's a turn on for me. Nothing else matters. I just really need to know how to make him more comfortable. I'm willing to try anything that isn't harmful. I've done research on this and I've seen people "suck air" (sorry if that's not the right term) but that just seems dangerous. That's something I won't try. Anyways, thanks for being respectful and for the advice.

Mon, 02/01/2021 - 02:33

Succoria

Mirroring what Pennsylvania said, props for being open to experimentation with this kink for your fiance, that can mean a lot.

In terms of roleplay, I think the best place to start is to use text RP. From there, he can make it the ideal circumstance, and you can sus out how adaptable his desires our for RL roleplay. If, for example, he has a preference for breast or butt expansion, it can be fairly easy to stuff your clothes accordingly. If he imagines you as a spherical balloon girl on a string, that's going to be a bit harder (Though not impossible with some bondage and imagination).

I would personally err against surprising your fiance though. While I get the appeal, it can risk feeling like that you're taking advantage of something that's really vulnerable from him. Work at his pace.

Last two points, it's ill-advised to physically inflate yourself due to the health risks. Finally, remember to include your own boundaries. As much as he appreciates you going the extra mile, your comfort is just as important as his.

Mon, 02/01/2021 - 17:42

(Reply to #3) #5

Layla50

Thanks for the advice. Because I really do not know much about this kink, I'm not sure how I would start a text role play. I'm only asking because I know he won't start it. He thinks he's weird and indersirable because of his kink. I just want him to be comfortable and show I understand. And threads I could potentially read or advice to potentially kick start and text Rp?

also, I wouldn't do anything to physically harm either of us. I've seen videos of people physically inflating themselves and honestly, that seems very dangerous. Not something I'd try myself. I'm they type of person that's willing to push my boundaries (in a healthy way) I just need to approach it in a way that won't make him feel uncomfortable. I just don't want him to think he's some "weirdo". Everyone is different and yes, this fetish was def unexpected for me, but who cares? I just want him to be able to play out his fantasy with me.

Mon, 02/01/2021 - 18:37

airtankgirl5

There's good advice up there (and there will probably be some bad advice also, such is the nature of things). Having been the chick brought into this damn silly fetish, let me share the three most important things I learned after my fiancee told me he wanted to inflate me like a balloon:

1. You will screw it up. That's ok because your threshold and his threshold for screwing up will be very different. In that respect fetish sex is exactly like non fetish sex. We get better as we go.

2. The biggest sexual organ is the brain. Of course his tastes will be whatever they are and you may be perfectly willing to play some dress up for him (or not), but you will probably be able to get a surprising amount of mileage out of a little inflation talk and some simple pantomime before you go out trying to get a gigantic inflatible suit.

3. And here is where I think the biggest hurdle will be: If he isn't comfortable with his perv, it's going to be really hard for you to be comfortable with it. It's not a shameful thing, it's a wonderfully intimate secret that only you and he know about. It's like a code, where you can tell him you want sex (or just want him teased up) by saying "Oooo, I feel so bloated" or something to that effect.

As to the brass tacks, my personal suggestion is ask him share with you the things he likes. If he likes a particular fiction, try reading them to him (most inflation fiction is pretty short unless it's mine :) ). Maybe try acting out a scene.

And throughout it all, keep that #1 in mind. You'll make mistakes, and it's not the end of the world.

Toodles,

ATG

Mon, 02/01/2021 - 19:09

(Reply to #6) #7

Layla50

Thank you. To me, it seems like the biggest thing is to have a convo about it. The only issue is he has issues opening up about it. He mentions he wants to try (and I really think he does) but if I bring it up he always says "can we e talk about this when I'm not embarrassed" and I really just don't know how to make him not embarrassed about it. To me it seems like he feels this is something to be ashamed of. I feel this is something to be embraced and shared between the two of us. It just hurts me every time he's so ashamed because I know he's also ashamed of himself. He's told me (when drunk) that he wished he didn't have this fetish. It breaks my heart hearing him say it and I just want him to know I'm all in. We've been together 8 years and I've known about his fetish for about 5. I was hoping after I found out he would accept himself. Now I'm at the point where he has brought up RP a few times, I just don't think he will act and be okay with it unless I initiate.

Tue, 02/02/2021 - 00:09

(Reply to #7) #8

PuffyMan

This may be a bit backwards, but if you know any accounts he rps on, why not make an account, rp for a bit with him to see if you are okay with it, and then reveal that it's you?

Granted that kinda sounds like stalking. Rrrgh... maybe not the best idea. But a thought.

Mon, 02/01/2021 - 20:02

doubleintegral

It's harder than it seems to make the transition from "I'm ready to tell her about my secret fetish" to "I'm ready to roleplay the secret fetish with her".

First of all... alcohol is one hell of a truth serum. If he's really told you while drunk that he wished he didn't have this fetish, it may be that anything you try will not be well received and only make him shut down even more. To help him work through that he may need a counselor instead of a fiancee. Just keep that in mind.

I would NOT attempt a text roleplay at this point. Text roleplays can be a demanding exercise and it's easy to lose interest if it's not going well. People develop very specific kinks about this stuff, and if he's had the fetish for any long period of time then he very specifically knows what he likes and doesn't like. He may be afraid that he'll get too picky and turn you off, or he may worry that roleplaying with the love of his life won't live up to his hopes and dreams. So I could see that turning into a negative experience for him, which means a negative experience for you as well. Hurt feelings all around - the opposite of what you're hoping to achieve.

I'd recommend starting small and casual. When you're just hanging out together (watching a movie, eating dinner, etc.) pick a random moment and just poke your stomach out and rub it, telling him that you like it that way and wish it were bigger. Invite him to rub it, and ask him if he likes it bigger too. Then simply return to whatever you were doing. Let him catch you studying yourself in the bathroom mirror as you stick your stomach out and hold your hands away from your belly, as if you're imagining it being larger. Maybe even walk around the house while sticking it out, if you can. Little things like that. Just don't make a big deal of it at first, or it will put extra pressure on him.

Getting some positive responses from that will help lay the groundwork for taking the next step. If he hasn't already, have him show you some of his favorite stories, artwork, and videos. Ask him why they're his favorites. That will help you hone in on his specific kinks, and maybe give you some material to use here and there in the bedroom, even if it's just words or phrases from his favorite stories.

Only when y'all are having some success with this should you consider the "surprise", whatever form that takes.

Stories I have written

Mon, 02/01/2021 - 21:20

#10

airtankgirl5

Hmm, come to think of it, I think he needs a therapist more than an roleplay.

Tue, 02/02/2021 - 09:17

(Reply to #9) #11

Themarkoftheslayer

What makes you say that?

Tue, 02/02/2021 - 10:11

(Reply to #11) #12

doubleintegral

Apparently OP's fiance has said before that he wished he didn't have the fetish, and he is clearly some combination of embarrassed and ashamed about it. OP's intentions are good, but if her fiance truly feels that way then he may not need the encouraging of a willfull significant other. He may need a therapist to help him work through his feelings about the fetish. If he can come to terms with it and learn to enjoy sharing the fetish with his future wife without being ashamed, great. If he can't and they simply have to enjoy their life together without the fetish, that's fine too. The important thing is that the two of them, and their relationship, are healthy.

Of course, it's hard to say without knowing him or his relationship with the OP, and I'm hardly qualified to offer any advice. I just don't think it should be ignored, that's all.

Stories I have written

Tue, 02/02/2021 - 13:52

(Reply to #12) #13

Layla50

I agree. He's talked about therapy before and feels he needs to go for other issues he has. Maybe I'm doing this wrong and we should do therapy first. I think he has mixed feelings. Seems like he wants to RP, then he's too embarrassed. Then he tells me he's ashamed. Then talks about it. I mostly came here looking for friendly advice from people with a better understanding. I really do appreciate all the advice I'm getting from this community. The most important thing for me is I want him to be happy with himself and my thought was "maybe if I show I can have fun with this, he won't feel embarrassed" maybe that's the wrong thought process.

Tue, 02/02/2021 - 14:09

(Reply to #13) #14

doubleintegral

As someone who's gone to therapy to sort some things out myself, I definitely think it's a good idea regardless. But knowing that he wants to roleplay with you is something. I think dipping your toe in with some low-pressure stuff like I suggested above couldn't hurt.

And as others have said, I really can't say enough about how cool it is that you're being so supportive of him. Not everyone is so lucky. Hopefully he's just as supportive with you about whatever your kinks are.

Stories I have written

Tue, 02/23/2021 - 08:48

#15

datot

I think you have to be careful about his comment that he wished he didn't have the fetish.

I was exactly the same; I have a lot of fetishes and there have been days where I've wished I didn't, but I do.

I'm sure most of us have thought "why me?" at some point. It takes a while for people to accept their fetishes and most studies say you can't get rid of them.

Put it this way, I wouldn't necessarily interpret "I wish I didn't have this fetish" for "I don't want this fetish and I want to see a therapist to rid myself of it", if that is how you are interpreting it.

It may be that he has suggested seeing a therapist almost as a defence mechanism in case you were put off by his fetish, then he knows that he's already promised to 'get himself sorted out' by seeking professional help.

Obviously it's difficult for me to suggest 'maybe it's this, maybe it's that' without knowing you both personally, so I hope this is useful.

I can only really speak from personal experience, so one thing I would say, is that my fetishes leave me feeling incredibly insecure with my fiancée and I almost need constant reassurance from her that she is okay with them.

My fiancée is vanilla and I am very kinky; she has been really accepting of all my fetishes and we do roleplay/act out fetishes, even though she is not into them.

Nevertheless, ten years into our relationship, I am still a bit uncomfortable with them and still embarrassed about some of them when I'm around her.

It sounds to me like your fiancé is in a similar position and I would imagine some serious reassurance from you that you're okay with it and aren't going run 100 miles from him will help him.

I think a lot of us struggle to talk about it with a significant other. After all, getting your kicks off blowing up with air until you're a huge giant ball (or insert similar inflation-related scenario above) is a bit of an intimidating thing to admit to someone!

Massive credit to you for coming on here and discussing it – that's an amazing thing to do.

Fri, 02/26/2021 - 13:33

#16

Layla50

Hello everyone! I appreciate all of the advice. He says he wants to RP over texts but wants me to initiate it. Is there any shorter stories anyone can recommend I read? I really have no clue what I'm doing and would be completely lost without doing more research. Any shorter story would help me grasp the concept more. Obviously I will slowly learn what he likes and doesn't over time. Just need a starting point.

Sat, 02/27/2021 - 05:23

(Reply to #16) #17

Pennsylvania Ki...

I'm one of those people who like to read and write longer stories, though if I had to suggest a starting point it'd be one of Redsnake's works: The Visitation. He's one of the better authors at capturing a heck of a lot of detail in a short timeframe, but as a disclaimer, the one I've linked and a majority of others involve popping, which is an ending to inflation scenes that the community is always 33/33/33 on — you either enjoy it/are indifferent to it/hate it. You can always mouse over the Popping: line in the story specs to make sure, or do what a friend's always done and just stop at the last few lines...!

If you're looking for really short works to model after, I've found this piece by Mono Be: Five Gallons, and a writing contest competitor focused on clothing destruction that's a little over 1,000 words — Blowing Her Socks Off by blank.

These sort of the model the process/sensations in slightly different ways; let us know if you need some more advice about specific aspects of writing inflation.

Check out my stories that I've written...!

Sat, 02/27/2021 - 08:06

(Reply to #19) #18

Layla50

Thanks! I read these and I am curious. Is there ever sex involved in this? Or does it always end in popping/deflating/ staying inflated.

Sat, 02/27/2021 - 08:16

(Reply to #20) #19

Succoria

There can be, yeah! We have a tag on our stories for Sexual Content on stories that have them based on the genders involved, as well as if it's implied or explicit. If you use the search function, then click the Site tab, you can filter the results based on those an other relevant tags. Hope it helps!

Sun, 02/28/2021 - 03:40

(Reply to #20) #20

Redsnake

Since I've been mentioned by name already, the perfectionist in me would love to direct you to Witching Hour as a much more polished rewrite of one of the stories recommended above, which is probably less important than the fact that it also at least partially answers that question; there is sex in inflation literature, though not nearly as much as you'd expect, and often not treated as the main course, so to speak.

The exact reasons for that are as difficult to pin down for the community itself as for outside observers, but since you're looking to get a grasp on the why's and how's of it, I'll indulge in a bit of hypothesizing. Part of it, I'm sure, is cultural - this site in particular was a huge influence in the earlier days of the internet, and used to not even feature explicit sexual content. That rule has been gone quite a while though, and there's no shortage of literature that I expect comes across as, "I'm pretty sure this is porn, but I'm not quite sure how," even in spaces that have been permissive from the start. Or maybe inflation writers just happen to not be great at writing sex, and/or don't develop the knack for it because describing a pair of bulging cheeks ends up being both easier and more effective. The latter idea seems to mesh pretty well with the common hypothesis that expansion acts as a sort of tangible proxy for arousal, and bursting for orgasm. It's not necessary to actually feature bursting, and as mentioned above, that even turns quite a few inflation enthusiasts off, but the idea of it possibly coming into play seems to be a nigh-universal theme. And in the same way that the most exciting part of "regular" porn tends not to be the very end, it's sufficient to simply set up a situation that trips all the right wires without having to get too specific about the end results.

I'm not sure how helpful that all is, but there you go. I think the main takeaway is that just because inflation often doesn't mix with sex doesn't mean that it can't. There are endless scenarios out there, and whatever the specifics of what your partner enjoys, it's still you as the primary object of his affection.

Wed, 03/03/2021 - 12:50

(Reply to #16) #21

doubleintegral

I wrote this:

https://www.deviantart.com/doubleintegral/art/Enjoy-the-Show-651324426

which could be read as one side of a roleplay.

Stories I have written

Fri, 02/26/2021 - 18:53

#22

airtankgirl5

Regretably, I wouldnt know a short story if it bit me. Mine are all rather long.

Try to find a story he likes and use that to your advantage ;)

Fri, 02/26/2021 - 20:50

#23

biff977

What ATG said is key about finding out some of the aspects of what he likes. Everyone who is into this kink has slightly different interests, and some details that trigger one person may not necessarily do it for another. If he is able to identify what first turned him on to inflation, that should give you a start on figuring out what he likes.

Also, to reiterate one point, there are subtle but distinct differences between a fetish and a kink. From what you've written, it sounds like your fiancé has a simple kink and likes the fantasy of inflation, but he doesn't necessarily need it to have a happy, healthy relationship. That being said, if he can get comfortable enough to share that aspect of himself, it can only serve to strengthen your relationship in terms of trust and communications.

Need help with Fiancé

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