Surfergirl Nazis Must Fly!
Kim walked along Pacificana Avenue with a confident stride, for she knew that she definitely was qualified for one of best surf teams out there, the Venusian Wave Riders. She heard that the all-girl club had sort of an elitist attitude, but she figured they were always like that towards novices. As she turned left down an alley and headed towards the end, she spotted the small wood house at the end. When she got there, she checked the address. “2345, this is it!’ she happily remarked. She knocked on the door and waited for one of the club members to open the door and welcome her in.
After a brief moment the door opened and a tall blonde-haired green eyed girl in a white Quicksilver shirt and blue Hawaiian board shorts answered.
“You’re Kim, right?” The girl calmly inquired.
“That’s me! Is everyone here?”
“They sure are! Come on in! We’re waiting for you!”
The blonde led Kim into the house and lead her towards the main meeting room of the little bungalow. It was a small house, but it was very well kept up. Just before Kim and the girl entered the meeting room, Kim noticed a large display case full of trophies. She was astonished by how many were crammed into it. The awards came from many major surfing competitions, from Hawaii to Fiji, to Huntington Beach. She also noticed that they were all first or grand prizes, so she knew that these girls were definitely top-class material in the surfing world.
Following the blonde into the meeting room, the slender dark-haired tan-skinned Chinese-American swished her short shiny jet-black hair and was almost blinded by the light coming in through the large windows of the room. The end of the large room had three large windows which gave a view of the beautiful public beach and the waves constantly creeping in and crashing on shore while tourists, swimmers, and little kids wandered around on the dry white sand.
Five girls were already seated on a large couch and discussed tactics for surfing during harsh weather; they all immediately stopped and noticed Kim and the blonde.
“Ladies, may I present to you Kim Lung, our newest recruit!”
“Hello! How are you?”
“Pretty good.” Mumbled a blue-eyed tall blonde sitting at the far end.
“So, we’ve got some fresh meat here again?” Wise-cracked the red-head sitting next to her.
“Kim, here are the members of our prestigious club.” The green-eyed blonde began to introduce the girls.
“At the end here we have Shelly Strummers, she took the gold at the Fiji International invitational back in 2000.”
The blonde Shelly nodded casually towards the girl’s introduction, obviously not to flattered with it.
“Next to her is Courtney Lakes, she won in both Maui and Australia this summer.”
“Eh, it was nothin’, I coulda’ done better.” Courtney sarcastically remarked.
“Also we have here Jenny Collins, she’s our PR girl and winner of last month’s Surf-o-Rama 2002.”
“Meh.” slurred the slumped brunette sitting at the other far end.
“Next to her…” The blonde continued. “…is Mandy Drakes, the ‘Terrific Tuber’ as the paper calls her.”
“Hey, who said you could call me that?” the raven-haired Mandy rebutted.
“And last but not least, we have our club leader, Tiffany Howland! She’s the best surfer of us all! She’s won too many competitions to discuss right now.”
“But of course.” Tiffany smiled.
“And I am Tracy Hayes! Welcome to the club Kim.”
“Ahem Tracy.” Tiffany coughed and stood up. “Remember, she isn’t a part of us yet.”
“Oh, sorry. I’m just a bit excited that we have a new member in the club.”
“Oh, no need to apologize Tracy.” Tiffany slyly grinned and looked towards Kim. “She needs to give us a display of her prowess.”
“I’ll be glad to Tiffany!” Kim chirped. “But all I brought was my wetsuit and my snorkeling gear in my bag here. I wasn’t expecting to surf today, I thought we were just having a meeting.”
“Well Kim…” Shelly stood up and walked towards Kim “Shouldn’t a surfer always be prepared to prove their worth?”
“Uh, I guess.” Kim stuttered. She felt somewhat uneasy around this imposing group.
“I guess we can lend you a board.” Jenny said.
“Now get dressed and be prepared to shred some waves, that is if you can.” Tiffany snidely demanded. All the girls except for Tracy and Kim laughed.
As Kim squeezed into her full-body black wetsuit within the dressing room, she wondered if she was really comfortable with this club.
“They seem sort of competitive and bossy, but I guess that’s what you need to be when you surf at their level!” Kim pondered
After she suited up and grabbed one of the boards in the equipment shack, Kim walked towards the beach to meet the girls.
“Well it’s about time slowpoke!” Mandy hollered. “It’s freezing out here!”
“So Kim, ready to prove yourself?” Said Tiffany.
“Am I ever!”
Kim ran towards the surf excitedly and splashed into the water with a large splash when she reached deeper depths. She swam around scouting out for some waves to catch. Finally she found a nice large one just beginning to swell up about ten meters away. Kim briskly swam alongside the expanding watery hump and right when it began to peak and crash at one end, Kim stood upon her board, balanced herself, and rode the wave. She rode it for quite a distance, skillfully weaving around and slicing alongside the churning wall of seawater. Her wet black hair swung and flapped around in the wind and her shiny black wetsuit glistened in the late-morning sun. She felt absolutely thrilled.
Finally after a half hour of catching waves and riding them, she swam back towards shore and the girls. Tracy ran towards Kim clapping her hands.
“Wow! That was incredible Kim! You really cut through those waves like hell!”
“Thanks Tracy. I come out here when I can. I find new ways of taming the waves everyday.”
“So girls!” Tracy turned towards the five. “What do you think?”
The five girls looked at each other seriously, Jenny let a crooked smile cross her lips briefly and Tiffany spoke up.
“Well, we all discussed your ‘moves’ out there Kim. And unfortunately, we don’t think you’re fit for our club.”
“What!?” Kim gasped. “But, I didn’t wipe out once out there! And did you see that big tube that I rode?”
“You flew through a tube? Didn’t catch that one.” Courtney sarcastically snarled.
“As you can see, you might have done some moves that could have impressed us, but unfortunately, we didn’t. We were too busy talking about other things during your performance.”
“But…” Tears were beginning to well up in Kim’s eyes.
“After seeing your mediocre performance out there, we probably wouldn’t have missed much.
Kim was flabbergasted. She felt this dark blob of grief fill her heart. It almost felt like it caused it to stop pumping.
She dropped the surfboard and ran away, trying to fight back the tears filling her eyes so nobody would see her cry.
“Well, she took it better than some of the others who came this week.” chortled Shelly.
“Good riddance, we’re fine as we are right now. And with our current winning streak, we wouldn’t want her mediocrity spoiling our perfect record.” Tiffany said.
“Well, shall we go back girls? I could use some lunch.” Everyone nodded in agreement with Tiffany, except for Tracy who just stood away from the group, disgusted by their blatant snubbing of Kim.
“So Tracy, how about you? Wanna’ come by the burger joint with us?” Courtney asked.
“I’ve lost my appetite.” Tracy then turned away and walked towards the direction where Kim ran off.
“Hmph, what bit her in the ass?” Jenny remarked.
Kim lay face down on her bed, sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow. She was absolutely heartbroken by the cruel refusal by the Venusian Wave Riders.
“They never gave me a chance. Why did they have to be so heartless?” Thought Kim.
She kept crying into her pillow until she heard a knock at her door.
Kim jumped up quickly, but she sunk back down into her bed. A voice called out.
“Kim! It’s me, Tracy! Can I come in?”
“Are you going to embarrass me any more? If not, you can just leave!” Kim shouted.
“Kim! Please listen to me! Let’s talk about this! I’m totally sorry about what happened. Those girls had no right to insult you the way they did out there!”
Kim wiped her teary red face and got off her bed. She opened the door and welcomed Tracy into her little apartment room.
“Kim, I’m so sorry about what happened.” Tracy wrapped her arms around Kim and gave her a reassuring hug.
“But why? Why did they reject me?” Kim pleaded.
“Well, I guess there’s many things I can say about those girls, but I’ll choose a simple explanation here, they’re bitches.”
“No duh.” Kim grumbled.
“By the way Kim, you’re still in your wetsuit.” Tracy pointed out.
“I know. I was so sad that I just rushed here and immediately started crying in bed.”
“I can understand, I’d cry too if I were you. Mind if I sit down Kim?”
“Sure.” Kim pointed out a beanbag chair near her bed and Tracy sat down.
“Kim, as you can tell, the girls in my club aren’t exactly the most open group on this beach, in fact they’ve turned down a bunch of great surfers like you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, they were all good, but I think you were the best one yet! Compared to the skills of the girls, you could easily match those sluts.”
“I still can’t believe they turned me down.”
“They’re really paranoid about losing their winning streak, and they really want to keep it going.”
“Hmmph, well I bet they’re actually crappy surfers themselves!”
“Well, they are good, but I’ve never seen any of them do that perfect run you did out there.”
“Can you do something to let me in?”
“Why? They’ll just make you feel horrible, plus they’ll never accept you.”
“I see.”
Tracy and Kim sat silent for a minute, until Tracy spoke up with a bright look her face.
“Hee hee, I’d love to see those jerks get humiliated big time at one of those ‘high and mighty’ meets they show off at.”
“Me too.” Kim concurred.
“Hey! We should pull a prank on them! Something that will really screw them over!”
“I don’t want to hurt them.” Kim said.
“Oh we won’t hurt them, but we will ruffle their feathers though! But what can we do to embarrass in front of everyone here?”
“Well, maybe we can, uh, wait.” Kim wrinkled her nose a bit and started sniffling.
“Gotta sneeze?”
“Yeah, it’s a bi… i…. Ah… ah.. ahhhhhh!”
Just before Kim could sneeze, she lifted up her wetsuit’s neckline and put her mouth towards the opening.
“WACHOOOO!”
Kim’s wetsuit swelled up a bit from the sneeze that entered it.
“Bless you!” Tracy excused.
Kim felt funny with the air that she blew into her suit.
“Huh, that was weird. Good thing I didn’t sneeze harder, or I might have blown myself up like a balloon! Hah!”
“That’s it!” Tracy shouted!
“What’s what?”
“The suits! Blow them up like balloons! We can blow their wetsuits up!”
“Whose wetsuits?” Suddenly Kim realized what Tracy was talking about.
“Ohhhh, I see! Now that would be funny!”
“Just think how freaked out they’d get when their suits started inflating like rubber party balloons!”
“They wouldn’t be able to move! It’d just be like a cartoon!”
“Or even better yet, fill them up with helium!”
“Oh yeah! Then they’d float away! That’d be a hoot!”
“And you know what Kim? We can do it! With this upcoming surf meet on Saturday, the brats are going to be modeling these new neoprene/latex hybrid suits for this company. They are supposed to be ultra-flexible and stretchy!”
“Oo! Even better! Also my father works on these special compressed gas pellets for these companies! I’ll see if he’s got some that release helium!”
“How much can they let out?”
“A lot! These girls are gonna’ be really big if we stuck them inside their suits.”
“Excellent Kim! You think we can do this by Saturday? We’ve got only two days?”
“I’m sure I can nab the pellets tonight!”
“And I can sneak them into their wetsuits before they slip them on! How big are they?”
“They are really small, which is quite amazing for the amount of gas they hold. They are the size of a tiny pebble and can hold about 20 psi. I don’t think they’ll notice them.”
“So, you wanna’ do it?”
“You bet I do!”
“All right then! These brats will be flying over the waves higher than they ever could hope for. Heh heh.”
It was a sunny Saturday morning at Pacificana Beach. A large crowd had gathered for the big surfing event. People from all over the state had come to compete and strut their stuff on the waves. Courtney, Shelly, Mandy, Jenny, and Tiffany were standing around under their tarp, being interviewed by a news crew.
“So Tiffany, what do you think of these state-of-the-art Soothex Wetsuits?”
A reporter questioned the group of girls whom were clad from toe to neck in the glossy black rubber suits. The suits even had mitts and booties on them, and there were no seams whatsoever to be seen on them. They had the sleek dark-blue Soothex logo spread along the side of the right thigh.
“We love them Rick! We think any serious surfer should definitely consider these suits, especially since they show off our wonderful figures so well!”
“And that’s one of the main reason’s we’re selling them! Plus they are designed for maximum comfort and flexibility. They are air-tight too, so that no water can seep in and hinder your movement!”
“We the Venusian Wave Riders support these news suits 100% Rick! And we’re happy you chose us to test them out.”
“We’re glad that you stepped up to the challenge! Plus since you’re all such fine surfers, we’ll get a lot of attention!”
“Well, its time for us to shred those waves in half. Ready girls?”
“Uh Tiffany? I feel something in my suit. Something really tiny, but round.” Shelly spoke out.
“Don’t worry, some sand probably got into your suit while you were changing. I feel a little something too. Besides, we don’t want to delay our electrifying performancy any more.”
The girls picked up their boards and walked towards the surf. People in the audience took notice of the five girls all dressed in the shiny wetsuits. Some of the wilder guys in the crowd wolf-whistled and hooted at them.
Meanwhile, behind a lifeguard tower, Kim and Tracy watched the action.
“Well, this is it! Shall you do the honors Kim?”
“With pleasure.” Kim smiled as she picked up a control device with an antenna and clicked the single button on it. She giggled with glee as she pushed the button.”
Suddenly all the girls stopped dead in their tracks just as a loud hissing sound began to emit from their suits. All but Tiffany dropped their board and started feeling themselves.
“Wha, what’s goin’ on!?” Jenny panicked
“There’s something filling my suit! It feels like, gas!” Mandy yelled.
The suits began to noticeably bulge out. The feminine curvy figures began to plump out like hot dogs in a microwave. All the girls could do was gawk and gasp at their expanding wetsuits.
“Holy crap! Our suits are blowing up like balloons!” Jenny screamed.
“Noooo! My figure!” The vain Shelly yelped.
“How’s this happening? Somebody please stop it! Stoooooop!” Courtney yelled out in futility.
All Tiffany could do was stare down at the ever-expanding mass of black rubber that was her wetsuit. She was sweating bullets and thinking…
“And to think, they’re getting all this on TV.”
The TV cameras near the crowd were catching every second of the wetsuits inflating. All people in the stands could do was gawk at the spectacle. Most people thought this was some wacky PR stunt, most of the surfer dudes and beach bums just said ‘Woah’ ad infinitum.
The wetsuits’ midsections were now bulging out into well-rounded spheres with a circumference of at least three feet. The legs and the arms were also swelling into plump weenie-balloon shapes. All the girls could do now was waddle around helplessly and cry out for help that wouldn’t come.
“For cryin’ out loud! Why won’t those damn idiots do anything!? We’re inflating dammit!” Screamed Tiffany as she finally dropped her surfboard.
By now their had expanded to at least seven feet in diameter, by now the arms and legs of the suits were so plumped up or absorbed into the expanding sphere of the suit that mobility was impossible.
Finally, before the girls could lose their balance, they started to float up into the air.
“Oh shoot! We’re filling up with HELIUM!” Cried Jenny.
The sound of hissing gas began to quiet down, the gas within the pellets inside the suits were almost depleted, but by now the suits had inflated from a human shape into a comical ball shape, with little puffy dents for arms and legs, and puffed up feet and hands and their tips. The girls now looked like human balloons, floating away from the warm sand of the beach.
“I don’t wanna’ float away!” screamed Shelly.
“We’re never going to get down!” added Mandy.
“For gods sake! Somebody grab us!” Tiffany pleaded to the crowd.
Some people, once they saw the ballooned girls lift off the ground, tried to run towards them and grasp any part of their spherical bodies, but even the people closest to them couldn’t grab them. The ones under them tried jumping up and nabbing the pneumatic females, but their efforts were futile.
Tiffany, Jenny, Mandy, Shelly, and Courtney kept screaming and yelling for help as they floated higher and higher into the beautiful cloudless Saturday day over the beach. As Tiffany floated away, she caught sight of two girls hiding out behind a lifeguard tower on the beach. They were both on the ground in stitches, laughing at the embarrassing predicament of her and the team.
“Bye bye girls! Send us a postcard! Via airmail of course! Ha ha ha!” giggled Tracy.
“Remember to send us some nice aerial shots of your vacation spots too!” added Kim.
“So where do you think they’ll fly off to Kim?”
“Hopefully somewhere far. I don’t want to see those jerks anytime soon. But I hope they don’t get hurt.”
“Don’t worry Kim. They all have rich mommies and daddies. They’ll probably pay the Coast Guard top dollar to fish them out of the clouds.”
All Tiffany could do was stare at the two figures in the background and furiously glare at their enjoyment of her suffering. But for now, all she and the other girls could do was float helplessly, without any knowledge as to when they’d come back to terra firma.
The five girl-balloons were now at least one hundred feet from the shore, and three hundred feet in the air. Ten minutes later, they were nothing but dark dots sailing around within the blue sky.
Kim and Tracy sat in the Venusian Wave Rider clubhouse, watching the evening news on the 50” wide screen HDTV in the club’s living room.
“In other locals news today, a Pacificana Beach girl’s surf club found themselves going above and beyond the waves like they never expected before when their cutting edge Soothex wetsuits inflated for no reason and caused them to float helplessly offshore. The president of Soothex Beachwear Inc. in an interview today was dumbfounded by the inflation of the girls’ suits since he said that was not a feature that his R&R team had implemented into them.”
“Yeah, you could say a willing third party added that in.” Kim wisecracked.
“As for the girls themselves, their parents immediately have called the Coast Guard to comb the skies with radar and helicopters and rescue the girls. Unfortunately the sudden change in wind conditions midday have caused the group of girls to disperse, and the search has become a much more trying effort. One girl by the name of Courtney Lakes was rescued right before sundown.
The TV switched to a shot of the hapless Courtney being dragged via helicopter to the Coast Guard airbase, tethered behind a string that a man was holding within the copter. However, right when the helicopter touched down, the force of the landing caused the tension on the rope to reverse direction, and pulled Courtney right into the small spinning blade on the tail of the copter. All Courtney could do was scream as the rotating blade punctured her inflated suit. It exploded in a shower of jagged rubber ribbons, and Courtney fell to the ground butt first. She sat up, shook her head, and screamed when she realized she was completely nude. Courtney scrambled around on the ground to pick pieces of torn rubber from her popped suit to cover herself with.
“Heh heh, as you can see, she didn’t have a very comfortable landing.” The TV reporter laughed a bit and went on with the rest of the news for the night.
“Poor Courtney, just think how all the guys around here will think once she gets back.” Said Kim.
“Yeah, she has a lot of admirers.” Replied Tracy.
Finally, the Coast Guard and Navy finally recovered all the girls from the sky after a week of intense searching. Tiffany herself floated almost halfway to Hawaii before she was rescued.
Since the rescue effort drained the bank accounts of the girls’ parents, they had to sell the clubhouse and all the equipment inside. Soon after the clubhouse was sold, the Venusian Wave Riders disbanded.
Kim and Tracy were able to save up enough money shortly after the clubhouse went up for lease, and they started their own club. Nobody had to worry about winning awards, and anybody could join.
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