hose

“You look great, Kerry, don’t be so hard on yours,” I tell my friend Kerry who is eight months pregnant.

“I’m a fucking cow! That’s why he ignores me. All he sees is how I used to be thin and I blew up into this,” Kerry says wiping tears that are running her makeup.

Lindsay Lohan comes storming in to Hilary Duff's apartment. It's midnight, in the middle of the summer, and Hilary is startled since she finished filming her next movie, trying to get some sleep, and is loudly interrupted while trying to fall asleep.

"...huh...wha...who are you? what are you doing?" Hilary asks groggily.

"Oh don't play dumb with me," Lindsay says irritated.

"Lindsay? Lindsay Lohan? What the hell are you doing here? In my apartment? In the middle of the night?"

Ally had the idea when she was talking to one of her friends during lunch. They had been talking about some piece of gossip or another and the thought had suddenly sprung into her head. Now, in the middle of July, she finally had the means and the courage to try it. Dressed in her new pink bikini, she stepped out of her enormous house onto her back deck. She was lucky to have run into so much money. Now she had the house of her dreams on the outskirts of town with the only neighbors being over an eighth of a mile away.