Female Inflation

"Danny boy... sweetie pie..."

Danny, chewing on a shoot of grass, nervously squinted at Darlene through the bright studio lights.

"...I slept with Sue."

Danny's eyes grew wide and his jaw slackened as the audience began hooting. Tears began to well up in Darlene's eyes. "But I still love you, Danny boy!" she said in her thick southern drawl. "All three of us can be happy together!"

Danny rose out of his chair, adjusted his overalls, and pointed an angry yokel finger at Darlene. "Why you [BEEP]! [BEEP][BEEP]---"

The Hubbell Research Group had been a frantic hive of activity for several weeks.  Five years was a long time to be idle, and the staff was straining to handle the volume of leads that Barney was producing.  But even with so much work to be done, nobody commented when Jack came in on Friday morning with his usual stack of tabloids.

"Hey Barney."

"Hey Jack."

"The Dog Boy got engaged to the Turtle Girl," he said, flipping through The Snoop.

"I'm certain that will be a fascinating wedding registry.  Anything in the headlines jump out at you?"

The inn was nice and quaint. It was made completely of wood, a little stone path leading up to the door through a white picket fence. Behind the inn was a pool and behind that was a large garden and orchid filled with sweet, naturally grown treats. It seemed like a wonderfully normal place.

“What’s your name miss?”

“Jackie Hills.” She answered.

“Ah yes! Miss Hills! I have your room key. Shall we go?”

It was my first day at Gremlin's toy shop. I had always wanted to work with children, so this was a big thing, and even though I was going to have to start at the bottom doing menial and probably humiliating tasks I was really looking forward to it.

I was now sitting in an ancient-looking, clean but dimly-lit wood-panelled room with an antique looking oak desk behind which sat an antique looking oak gentleman in a tweed suit. This contrasted with the public part of the shop, which was trendy and modern, all chrome and glass with the latest gadgets for children everywhere.