penis

Play Time

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Popping:
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    "Look what I swiped from work, Jordan!" Abe cheered. He held up a spray bottle.
    "Oh, nice, glass cleaner," I replied. "Are you a kleptomaniac now?"
    I was lying in bed, wearing nothing but briefs, and reading a book. My lightly muscle toned hairy body was on top of the covers. Abe, my handsome Latino boyfriend, was in a wife beater and boxers, his thin, wiry body next to mine.
    "It's the stuff!" he exclaimed.
    "Sanitizer?" I asked, putting my book aside.

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Average: 2.8 (10 votes)

Blueberry?

It had been an agonising wait for both of them, but now the time was at hand. They'd been eagerly following news of Michael Gibbs' latest creation, the three course meal gum as seen in the movie 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' (There was also a book, but who gives two shits about books?) and now the confection had finally been released to the braying masses.

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Average: 3.6 (9 votes)

Safe as Houses

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Inflation Types:
Popping:
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"...are you sure this is safe?" Nathan asked, tapping the plastic nozzle. "Safe" being a relative term, he thought, considering the dubious hobbies of his girlfriend Maria, one of which apparently involved a nozzle inserted into the tip of his manhood that connected to an industrial-gauge tire pump. And standing naked in the middle of her living room, no less.

"Safe as houses," Maria chirped, fiddling with some gauges on the pump.

"Have you done this before?"

"Technically."

"...technically?"

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Average: 4.4 (21 votes)

who needs mace

Inflation Types:
who needs mace
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Average: 3.7 (15 votes)

who needs mace pt 2

who needs mace  pt 2
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Average: 3.8 (25 votes)
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