Just that really. Don't know how to respond, it's a bit embarrassing but maybe i should just be open about why. He's 13. What do you all think?
My son found a video of me inflating myself and was curious
Wed, 01/13/2010 - 09:28
#1
My son found a video of me inflating myself and was curious
Wed, 01/13/2010 - 17:23
#3
retrobane
Yeah, probably not. Put yourself in his shoes, would you want to know the specifics and motivations of it if you saw a video of your parent(s) doing something like that?
Wed, 01/13/2010 - 17:28
#4
thepyro wrote:
No.
Because not talking to teens about sex, porn, and fetishes has worked out so well in the past.
It's a tough call because you would hope that they wouldn't go blabbing around to their friends about it. However, I think not talking about it is a lot more harmful. I know a lot of sexual confusion when I was that age was because my parents never sat me down and talked to me about anything.
Wed, 01/13/2010 - 17:48
#5
I would avoid mentioning anything sexual about it to him... I mean, maybe tell him you do it for fun, or it was only something you were trying out, but I'd avoid explaining the fetish side in any detail.
Look at it this way; if a kid of yours stumbled on a collection of sex toys (not making any assumptions, heh, only a hypothetical situation), would you really want to explain to him what they're for?
Wed, 01/13/2010 - 18:42
#6
flationable
And I thought accidentally seeing ones parents do it was weird enough.
Wed, 01/13/2010 - 21:54
#7
Honestly, while I've got no issues speaking honestly about sex with young adults, this might be a bit too much for him.
You might just be better off explaining that its something personal and letting it drop.
Wed, 01/13/2010 - 22:30
#8
OK, thanks everyone, i'll go and meditate on that lot. I suppose on the one hand i would've preferred my own parents to be less prudish about sex - i ended up learning about it from a textbook because they wouldn't tell me - but at the same time i know my father is into some really unusual stuff but have no idea what it is, and would probably not have wanted to know about it at that age.
Thu, 01/14/2010 - 03:48
#9
HMMMM, lets see... If I had seen this when I was 13, I would be even more curious as I was interested in this even at that age. If my dad had spoken to me about it, may have saved me a few thousand dollars in therapy
:-) Seriously though, I had a real tough time with this when I discovered that I was interested in it. Having my dad explain it to me would have probably eased my mind about it and I would have had a healther mindest about it earlier. Its a tough call...you didn't mention what he said or the questions he asked. That would determine if he was ready for this "content" or not. You could also leave the "sexual" portion of it out for now until he's ready for it. Good luck, I'd be interested in hearing how you finally handle it. Thanks!
Ritties
Thu, 01/14/2010 - 06:55
#10
If he somehow found this video around the web and was curious to know about it, then theres a possibility that he may be watching us. Good luck thought :)
Thu, 01/14/2010 - 07:05
#11
bosk
If he hasn't figured it out now, he eventually will in the future. You're in a tough spot, mate. Does the mother of the child know about any of this?
I don't know what I'd do. I mean, I could make something up: it was for a silly film or something I was doing with friends. I don't know. Depends what he saw and where he saw it.Like I said, though, he'll eventually be web savvy enough to figure it out.
Thu, 01/14/2010 - 09:15
#12
retrobane
For those saying so, it's not so much a matter of not talking to teens about sex. That's... that's just stupid.
It's more a matter of telling your teenage child about your kink. I guess if you have that kind of relationship with your teen, go right ahead. I just assume that most people don't.
You're already at that point, though (considering whether or not your son would want to know about the specifics of this), so... yeah. I hope you make the right choice!
Thu, 01/14/2010 - 15:12
#13
It was on a VHS tape, not on YouTube or the PC. Since we haven't used video cassettes for such a long time, i forgot about it, but it so happened that we've acquired a VCR built into an old TV, which is how this has come to pass.
The situation now is that not only does he know, but so does my daughter and several of their friends. He even asked me if he could do it, which seriously freaked me.
My wife has known since we were first together, so that's not a problem in itself. What might be a problem is her view of my carelessness.
The reason i find this difficult is that i've never been able to work out how important this fetish ought to be to me. Say i was gay. It would presumably be important to my children for them to know that at some point. But, what if i was a secret cross-dresser, or what if i was into whips and leather and kept it in the bedroom with my wife? Which one of those would be appropriate to share? I would say the S&M scenario shouldn't be shared, the cross-dressing would probably be OK and the gay thing definitely should be shared.
So where is inflation fetishism on that scale? Do you see what i mean? Do we "come out" or is that intrusive and inappropriate?
Fri, 01/15/2010 - 01:05
#14
harrisonford08 wrote:
However, I think not talking about it is a lot more harmful. I know a lot of sexual confusion when I was that age was because my parents never sat me down and talked to me about anything.
I know what you mean by saying that, but not everyone needs a lecture as I was able to figure everything out by myself as my parents never talked to me to about sex, drugs, drinking etc.
Then again I guess I just wasn't a "normal" teen growing up.
Fri, 01/15/2010 - 03:26
#15
darth_clone19
I'd kill myself if I was you.
Nah, but in reality, I'd leave out the sex part. I know its important to talk to kids about sex...but shit, he didn't see you having sex. He saw something completely unexplainable, so I see no reason why you should put it in his mind its something sexual for you.
First of all, he might go around telling people.
Second, it wont do him any harm at all not to tell him its sexy for you. I mean, get used to this fact: your kid is probably now developing some fetish, maybe crazier than ours.
In his mind, there's no sex to this. So don't introduce it, cuz there's no real need to. Its not like he saw you actually having sex, or masturbating. While for us, blowing yourself up is tautologically equivalent to sex and masturbation, Im very much convinced either of those things are present in his mind regarding what he saw.
Tue, 01/19/2010 - 08:12
#16
Inflate123
I didn't watch my parents having sex while I was growing up. I see no reason why you should have to share your darkest, most intimate and awkward sexual details with your 13-year-old.
I am not even going to ask how he got access to your darkest, most intimate and awkward sexual details in the first place. Basic computer security fail.
Tue, 01/19/2010 - 19:44
#17
Inflate123 wrote:
I am not even going to ask how he got access to your darkest, most intimate and awkward sexual details in the first place. Basic computer security fail.
Hmm, I wouldn't say security fail on his part Inflate. I was thwarting my dads computer security measures at about the same age. My father is an electrical engineer who designs circuit boards for the military & other such high profile organizations, plus he has a working knowledge of all existing programming languages. So it wasn't exactly easy. Point being, I found my dads deepest, darkest, most intimate and awkward sexual details...and I needed lots of therapy after that.
Fri, 01/22/2010 - 14:42
#18
What happened was nothing to do with computers. It was about a forgotten video cassette and the unexpected arrival of a VCR in the house. Obsolete technology meaning that i forgot the recording was even on there and if i'd remembered, lacking the capacity to play it or the expectation that it would get played.
In any case, i'm semi-open about this. I deliberately use the same username here as elsewhere because i think it's a grey area. It's not quite the same as being out of the closet, but also not quite the same as being intrusively open about one's proclivity for whips and leather, but somewhere in between, so i've deliberately allowed a possible discovery route for anyone who Googles my username.
In any case, my daughter now knows the score, which i did tactfully, but my son doesn't.
Tue, 07/20/2010 - 00:56
#19
You should tell him that it was just some crazy project you did way back in college if he ever brings it up.
Tue, 07/20/2010 - 09:41
#20
Well being British this really makes me want to die. Now Ive got over the shock I would just sit him down and say that ..... nope die of embarrasment seems to be he only option. The very best of British to you. I'm still blushing just thinking about this.
Wed, 07/21/2010 - 07:36
#21
I think that is our English legacy to the world - embarrasment. :P
Wed, 07/21/2010 - 10:53
#22
Don't forget the stiff upper lip, afternoon tea and cricket.
Wed, 07/21/2010 - 21:19
#23
Drake
Thu, 07/22/2010 - 12:42
#24
LOL! Not an exact likeness.
You see, the thing is we Brits keep everything inside until we think we're going to burst!
His immediate reaction was to ask me if everyone in our family had a secret superhero-type power to inflate ourselves and if he was able to do it too.
Fri, 07/23/2010 - 09:50
#25
Oddly enough, the phrase "keep a stiff upper lip" is an Americanism!
Fri, 07/23/2010 - 10:25
#26
Cailean wrote:
Oddly enough, the phrase "keep a stiff upper lip" is an Americanism!
Well I'll be. You learn something new every day.
Even afternoon tea isn't entirely English as we stole Scones from the Scots. At least Cricket is ours. Anyone want it?
Sat, 07/24/2010 - 14:14
#27
rjp101 wrote:
At least Cricket is ours. Anyone want it?
No thanks, us Yanks already have baseball- which is sort of like cricket, except that it doesn't take a month to play a single game.
Sat, 07/24/2010 - 20:02
#28
Inflate123
nineteenthly wrote:
His immediate reaction was to ask me if everyone in our family had a secret superhero-type power to inflate ourselves and if he was able to do it too.
I like the cut of your son's jib. He made it make sense.
Perhaps this is the genesis of a story about a family with inflatable superpowers...
Sun, 07/25/2010 - 07:25
#29
Murphy wrote:
rjp101 wrote:
At least Cricket is ours. Anyone want it?No thanks, us Yanks already have baseball- which is sort of like cricket, except that it doesn't take a month to play a single game.
That's only 5 day test matches. You also have 1 day games which are a similar length to a Baseball game and Twenty20 which is over before you can blink.
Sun, 07/25/2010 - 09:55
#30
Inflate123 wrote:
nineteenthly wrote:
His immediate reaction was to ask me if everyone in our family had a secret superhero-type power to inflate ourselves and if he was able to do it too.I like the cut of your son's jib. He made it make sense.
Perhaps this is the genesis of a story about a family with inflatable superpowers...
Yes, but i don't think i could do that without there at least being a sexual element in it for me, and that would freak me out. I can see an 'Incredibles'-type storyline certainly, but i don't want to think of children sexually, which seems to be the flaw in that idea.
No.