So my girlfriend is aware of my fetish and in the beginning she was alright with it and even played along... but now she is not so cooperative. Lately she has been abrasive every time I bring the subject up and I asked her why and she said its because I don't find her attractive. This is untrue, she is beautiful and I love her body, she is 5 ft. tall and 90 pounds with a cup boobs but I love every bit of her, but she feels like I would rather her be huge all over. I keep explaining to her its just a sexual pleasure and I find more arousal out of the temporary-ness of the inflation, and that having control over her size for a limited amount of time before she returns to her small self would be amazing, but she stays steadfast to believing I want some giant girl... she keeps telling me to go get some fat girl but that's not what I want. Did I make a mistake in telling her?
my problem...
No you did not make a mistake. Girls are just difficult. :P
Maybe play with her sometimes without your fetish, and tell her in detail how attractive she is to you.
Hmmm... to salvage the situation have her tell you some of her fetishes or preferences and play the quid pro quo game.
I had the opposite problem, my girlfriend was concerned about her weight and kept insisting that she was fat. When she discovered my fetish (I like inflation but I'm not an FA) she presumed I was drawn to fat women and therefore she must be fat.
I can't offer much advice but I know it's tough trying to walk the line between the sensitive feelings of your SO and getting people to understand your fetish when most people just presume it's a fat fetish.
Your mistake was not necessarily telling her about your fetish, but rather telling her about it all the time. I would lay off bringing up the subject for a while, and by "a while" I mean weeks, not days. The more you mention it to her, the more she will feel threatened if she thinks you are trying to drop any hints about her physical inadequacy (real or inferred) as it relates to your fetish, and you may end up talking yourself into getting dumped.
For instance, what if the fetish in question was a big boob fetish (which is certainly not uncommon), and you repeatedly talked to your A-cup-equipped girlfriend about how great you think big boobs are? Even if you always insisted that you were still attracted to her, don't you think that would be at least a little harmful to her?
I agree that it is a very fine line to walk, but it must be walked all the same. I think too many of us have gotten a non-negative response from our SO's when revealing our fetishes, and we get all excited and take that as a license to talk about it all the time. You have to remember that women, even though they sometimes don't admit it, have a tendency to be self-conscious about their bodies, and if you express a preference for something they don't have, they might just (understandably) take that the wrong way.
I agree with double integral n bloatingtilexploding but think I should combine th advice given by both. I couldn't have said it better if I tried. Have her share her fantasy/fetish with u n be patient cuz it may take some gentle prodding for her to reveal hers. Then be supportive n play hers out with her even if it takes a lil research to understand on ur part. As always, if u dont understand it, ask questions n let her know thatur doing so to understand it. Believe it or not it does help lol.
I agree with double integral n bloatingtilexploding but think I should combine th advice given by both. I couldn't have said it better if I tried. Have her share her fantasy/fetish with u n be patient cuz it may take some gentle prodding for her to reveal hers. Then be supportive n play hers out with her even if it takes a lil research to understand on ur part. As always, if u dont understand it, ask questions n let her know thatur doing so to understand it. Believe it or not it does help lol.
There's a time and place in the relationship to start sharing fetishes, but I disagree that now is a good time. Besides, given the recent history, she is going to see right through the gesture and think that he's only doing it for his ultimate benefit (her acceptance of his fetish).
Let the fetish strife blow over, lay low for a while, and THEN begin making overtures into any fetishes she has.
U gota good point doubleintegral. Still when it is th right time th advice given can still be taken n used hopefully for th betterment of th relationship.
You just have to tell her to get over herself, that this has NOTHING to do with how we want women to look like (at least it doesnt for me).
You just have to tell her to get over herself
And then some advice is just not helpful at all.
It's one thing to be supportive of someone who is insecure about their body, but there's only so much you can do. Maybe tell her that you think self-confidence is sexy. If you both do roleplaying, maybe even get her to talk sexy about how hot she is, see if she can get herself worked up about it and build self-confidence that way.
But I would say definitely don't bring up the inflation stuff at all for a while. In fact, you might even need to wait until she initiates it, which might never happen, but if she becomes confident with her looks and the fact that you're attracted to her, she might surprise you with some inflation play one day.
I might be totally wrong...no idea. Women are complicated. This was the first idea that came to mind.
Well I did what you guys suggested and layed low and suprisingly Wren, she caught me off guard with initiating it again last night. I will continue to lay low, I don't wanna get into the same situation as last time. I will continue to let her initiate it until she gets comfortable enough for me to start. I think she is understanding where I am coming from. Thanks guys and gals, big help from everyone!
Sweet! I was late joining this thread but I think doubleintegral had the best advice. I'm glad things worked out for you.
I will continue to lay low, I don't wanna get into the same situation as last time. I will continue to let her initiate it until she gets comfortable enough for me to start.
A wise course of action. Glad I could be of some help.
You're gonna have to tell her that it's other qualities that draw you to her, or she'll think you lust after every chubby girl (and there's lots here in the US) you see. Tell her it's a fantasy; she's already self-conscious about her body as it is, you gotta support her/reinforce her.