Understandable. I'll use brackets next time.
Emma Puffs Up
Date Written:
05/21/2013
Lying on her back in the bright summer sun on the seat of a small boat out in the sea, wearing her black swimsuit was Emma's ideal day during the summer holidays.
However, Emma also the summer holidays to inflate herself for her own enjoyment. One thing that set her apart from the other Balloon Girls was that she could control how much air she used to blow up, no matter how much she inhaled.
(If she really inhaled as much as she could and expelled all of it into herself, she would grow into a huge ball taller than Big Ben)
Emma breathed deeply and felt her stomach rise up and down underneath her hands. She liked that.
Through her sunglasses, she could see a couple of young girls a bit younger than herself* looking over the side into the dark blue seawater below them.
*Emma was 17 at the time
She leant back and rubbed her stomach to soothe herself. Perhaps she could blow up just a little bit when nobody was looking at her. Nobody was, good. She took a deep breath and puffed out her cheeks. Her stomach blew out slightly, but it was not really visible to anyone else. This made Emma feel comfortable. She ran her hands through her long black hair and sighed with happiness.
Suddenly, a loud, high pitched scream made Emma sit bolt upright as if she had been electrocuted. She took off her sunglasses to see the cause of it, and gasped.
One of the girls had leant too far out, and she had fallen off the side into the water. In that same moment that she saw what had happened, and everyone rushed to the side to see if they could see the poor girl, a brilliant idea sparked at the back of Emma's head. She could just make out the splash area where the girl had fallen.
Seeing no time to lose, Emma climbed onto the edge of the raft and dived off into the sea. Everyone immediately ran over to that area where she had jumped off, thinking what in earth she was doing. Emma knew exactly what she was doing. She took a huge breath and dived underneath. Fortunately, she could hold her breath for over a minute, so she would have enough time to save the girl.
Emma swam deeper and deeper into the depths of the water, searching for her target. Her eyes turned towards a greenish light coming from below her. She looked down. and could see a teenage girl in a bright green bikini attempting to swim up to the surface, but she was so light that the force of all the water was pushing her down. Emma knew she had to get her quick.
She kicked her feet as fast as she could and pushed herself down towards the girl. Once she reached her, she gestured to her with her hand (meaning to say "I'm over here!") The girl looked up through her swirling mass of blonde hair to see her, and managed a little wave at her.
Emma reached out her hand to her, and the girl tried to reach out to it. She kicked to try and push herself up a bit more. Good luck had her that day, and she rose up just enough to reach and grab Emma's hand. Emma used her strength to pull her up to her position in the water.
She then mouthed the words "Hold on!" to the girl. The girl nodded to show she understood her, and held onto Emma's back. Emma smiled at her, and then faced towards the surface, where she could see light. She could feel all of her breath contained within her chest, and now was time to put it to use.
She thrust out her chest and puffed out her cheeks. She then felt a great feeling of lightness growing inside her as she began to bloat up and expand. The blonde girl just stared in awe as Emma swelled up in her swimsuit like a big black pufferfish. Her belly and breasts appeared to mesh together, making her body a complete sphere. She then faced straight up, and kicked. Her breath air had made her so light that one kick was all it took.
She shot straight up through the water like a round torpedo. The light of the outside grew nearer with every passing second. In a matter of seconds, Emma burst through the surface of the sea in the area right next to the boat. She could hear the sounds of applause upon the people inboard noticing that the "lost" girl as with her.
She and the girl were helped back up on to the boat by some people at the side, the younger girl was returned to her crying mother, and Emma was the hero of the hour.
"All in a days work!" she said to herself in pride.
(10 votes)
The asterisk is abrupt and weird and does not belong there. Use a parethetical phrase for asides that are not character dialogue.
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