As a first story, it is quite nice! You made some fun, believable characters and their descriptions were easy to imagine when I read them. As far as what needs to improve, you could extend the story with further describing her inflation on each step up to the point where she was filling the room. You definitely are well on the way to being a great writer here, though!
Chinese Fireworks
Chinese New Year. Traditionally a time when Chinese families around the whole world celebrate their good fortune and luck to be together. But no Chinese celebration is complete without some fireworks...
Hui looked at her watch again, adjusting the time change. It was now 10AM in the Seattle National Airport. She was drowsy and cranky after her 13 hour flight from Beijing, and she was ready to get to where she would be resting. She had never been to America before, and her first time here was going to be extra special. She had come to meet a boy who she had been talking to online. Some of her friends said this was a bad idea, but after he had paid for her ticket, Hui couldn't help but wonder how things would work out.
"Excuse me miss, is there something I could help you find?" Hui jumped as the man spoke to her. Even though she'd taken English classes and listened to a language CD for a good part of her flight, she was still not used to hearing a language other than Mandarin. "Oh... I'm okay, I just wait here," she managed to shyly answer. "First time in Seattle?" the man asked, "I know, I know, this airport is very big. Even I get lost here sometimes, and I work here!" Hui giggled politely, even though she could not understand all of what he said. "Actually," she spoke up, "Can you help me find to here?" She pointed at her flight papers, looking for where she could get her bags. "The baggage claim? Of course, it's right over there!" he pointed, sending Hui down the hall to their right. The man was cute, but she had come here for another, and she couldn't afford to be distracted.
After Hui got her bags sorted, she walked into the main part of the arrival terminal, where all kinds of people were standing with signs to help the ones they were waiting for find them easily. So many names and words she didn't recognize... "Have I made a mistake?" She thought to herself. Looking around more she finally found a sign with something she recognized: "陈慧". Her name, Chen Hui. Holding the sign was a handsome young man, who smiled as Hui quickly ran over to him. "Brad?" She asked, finally getting to meet him in person. "That's me," he smiled, "I've been waiting for a very long time to meet you, Hui." Hui smiled. No boy had ever been very interested in her before, for a few reasons. She was chubby, and she never dressed up cute. She was a hoodie and Converse kind of girl. Brad didn't mind at all. To him, she was the jewel of the far East, and exotic beauty that he finally had in his grasp.
"You must be tired after that long flight," Brad said, "Let's get you to my home so you can have a rest." That sounded amazing to Hui, who followed Brad to his car. She must have fallen asleep on the drive, because when she woke up next, she was already in a bed. She looked at the clock, it was now 6PM. "Where am I?" She wondered as she came out of her daze. "Oh! This must be Brad's home!" "Brad's home it is indeed!" He came in laughing as she jumped at his call. "I hope you like it," He said "I know it isn't much, but this is home for me, and as long as you want to stay with me, it is your home too!" Hui smiled, blushing a little. "Thank you for being so good to me already..." She smiled. He really was so romantic. She then decided that when the time was right, she would share with him an old Chinese secret... But not now.
That evening Brad cooked dinner for her. He was so sweet. He cooks, and takes care of me, Hui thought. She chuckled to herself. A Chinese girl is always the one who will take care of her man. America really was a different world. "Oh by the way, Hui," Brad said to her, "Happy Chinese New Year!" This night was the last night of the lunar year, observed in China. Hui had chosen to start her new life with a brand new year too. "I'm sorry I don't really know how to celebrate it..." He sighed. Hui then knew now was the right time. "Well..." she said, "Chinese celebrations are never complete without famous Chinese fireworks..." "In the city limits? I don't think that's going to be happen babe." he said. But Hui was smart. In her luggage she had kept a traditional Chinese medicine. "气球丸", "balloon pills". "We can use these to have our own fireworks." she said, biting her lip as she showed Brad the little bottle. "Follow me..." She took him by the hand and led him back to the bedroom.
"So uh... I can't really read any of this bottle. What are we even supposed to do with these?" Brad asked. It was cute how confused he was. "It's easy," Hui told him, "I take one of these pills, and then we make your... dragon dance..." She wasn't quite sure why she said like this. She was thinking how to keep it related to Chinese New Year, so Brad wouldn't worry too much. Hui gulped down one of the pills before slowly pushing Brad onto the bed and undressing him. Brad was surprised at how light she was, and it even felt like she was getting lighter. He noticed she had not lied before, she was chubby. Wait a minute... She was growing! Right on top of him, Hui was inflating like some sort of balloon. "Oh my God! What's happening to you!" Brad shouted with worry. "Hehe... Chinese medicine can do all sorts of good things," Hui told him, "Do you not like me this way?" Brad had to admit that he found her very sexy as she puffed outward.
Soon Hui had stopped growing, and she was now six feet wide, and perfectly round. She noticed the bulge in Brad's pants. "What's stopping you?" She asked him. "I'm so helpless now... You could just roll me over and..." That was all encouragement Brad needed. He rolled her onto her stomach, her head now resting on her beach ball chest, and began to work his way inside of her. Her balloon body had also made the walls of her vagina puffy and warm, and as soon as he was in, Brad felt ecstasy. He had to have more. "Hey babe..." He started. "What would happen if you took another of those pills?" Hui wasn't sure. She had never heard of anyone taking more than one. She was scared about what could possibly happen, but for him, she was willing to try anything. "Put one into my mouth" she told him. Once she swallowed the second pill, with Brad inside of her, he felt the change instantly. Her vagina tightened up exponentially around his erection, and he couldn't help but moan a little at the sudden change. Then he couldn't take it anymore, he had to fuck her. He started pounding Hui, shaking her whole gigantic body like a bowl of jelly. Everytime he thrusted, she puffed even more, as if he was pumping her up.
Hui was in Heaven. Her whole body tingled as she grew, and she couldn't help but cry out in ecstasy as she quivered and still inflated from the pumping she was getting. Before too long however, her body started to slow its inflation. Her skin was drum tight, and the pressure inside her kept growing. "Brad..." she managed to gasp, "It's going to happen soon..." He figured she meant her climax, so he knew then he had to keep going. As he began to near his orgasm, he noticed how big Hui really had gotten. She touched all the walls of the room, as well as the ceiling. From how tight her skin was, you would think he had gotten a skin colored wall put in.
Then it happened. Brad grabbed as much of Hui's ass as he could fit into his hands, tensed up, and let go. He came into Hui. She knew what had happened, and squealed as he filled her to her bursting point. With one final squeal of ecstasy as she climaxed, and with a boom that shook the whole house, Hui exploded, like a cum filled firework.
As Brad sat on the floor trying to figure out just what had happened, he couldn't help but laugh.
"Chinese fireworks, huh? Guess she wasn't lying!"
Same thing I tell practically everyone else: Couldn't finish it because your structure sucks.
Thank you for reading my story, and thank you people who comment. English is not my first language. I only learn some in college. Maybe it's not good for write story. Thank you for be honest to me about this. I don't want a bad story be here. I hope somebody can help remove. Again sorry !
Don't worry. Your English is fine. Everything appears to be spelt right, and your sentence structure is good. Just keep in mind that when another person starts talking, you start a new paragraph. For instance:
"Excuse me miss, is there something I could help you find?" Hui jumped as the man spoke to her. Even though she'd taken English classes and listened to a language CD for a good part of her flight, she was still not used to hearing a language other than Mandarin. "Oh... I'm okay, I just wait here," she managed to shyly answer. "First time in Seattle?" the man asked, "I know, I know, this airport is very big. Even I get lost here sometimes, and I work here!" Hui giggled politely, even though she could not understand all of what he said. "Actually," she spoke up, "Can you help me find to here?" She pointed at her flight papers, looking for where she could get her bags. "The baggage claim? Of course, it's right over there!" he pointed, sending Hui down the hall to their right. The man was cute, but she had come here for another, and she couldn't afford to be distracted.
Should instead look like this:
"Excuse me miss, is there something I could help you find?"
Hui jumped as the man spoke to her. Even though she'd taken English classes and listened to a language CD for a good part of her flight, she was still not used to hearing a language other than Mandarin. "Oh... I'm okay, I just wait here," she managed to shyly answer.
"First time in Seattle?" the man asked, "I know, I know, this airport is very big. Even I get lost here sometimes, and I work here!"
Hui giggled politely, even though she could not understand all of what he said. "Actually," she spoke up, "Can you help me find to here?" She pointed at her flight papers, looking for where she could get her bags.
"The baggage claim? Of course, it's right over there!" he pointed, sending Hui down the hall to their right. The man was cute, but she had come here for another, and she couldn't afford to be distracted.
Don't mind Airtankgirl. She may seem overly harsh, but it's only because she has a love for the written word. She likes it when the proper care is taken in writing a story. I wouldn't bother asking Luther to remove the story, but if you want to, fix your paragraph structure and send Luther the revised copy.
Looking forward to new stories from you, even if I'm not a fan of popping. Just remember: one speaker per paragraph, and if another person talks, start a new paragraph.
I selefishly request you write more.
Can't tell if it was the pills or his cum that made her burst. Can't be the cum, he'd have had onyl a normal load...needs work, needs to be longer and a bit more descriptive.