Odd Bodies

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Daren was wealthy.

Very wealthy. 

And he was also curious. So, he put out an ad, saying that if people would allow him to perform experiments on them, he would give them a hefty allowance for the rest of their life, an allowance so large that they need not ever work again. 

Three people were foolish enough to reply to the add.

Chris, Hamlet, and John were their names. Chris seemes rather proud of himself. Hamlet looked cautious about the ordeal but hopeful that he may earn some money. John was visibly nervous and rather short for his age.

"I'm glad you all agreed to my little test. I'm hoping that this will be fun for both of us, but if not then I can assure you that you will be set for life. I am going to hand you these contracts and I need you to understand that once you sign, you cannot back out at any time."

Daren handed out the papers. Chris snatched it and eagerly signed. Hamlet began to slowly read. John began to skim the document but ended up nervously glancing towards the other two participants instead.

"It says we cannot know the experiment until after we have signed?" Hamlet asked. 

"That is correct."

"I don't know if I can commit to that."

"Then feel free to leave."

"You really scared of a little clinical study?" Chris asked. "What is he gonna do? Put some makeup on us? Have us try and edible acme cream or something? It can't be that bad."

"I can't do this," John said, gripping onto his hair in stress. 

"May I remind you what you get in return?" Daren raised an eyebrow and eyed each of them. 

"You'd be an idiot not to," Chris commented. 

Hamlet closed his eyes, fiddling with the ring that hung on a chain around his neck. "I'll do it." He bit his tongue and signed. 

When he was done, he and Chris turned and stared at John, who was wide eyed and sweating. 

"I can't-"

"Hurry up already, I want my money!" Chris shouted. 

"Alright!" John shakily signed his contract. "If you two do it, I guess I can stomach it." 



Daren lead them into a large open room with three chairs spaced out a few yards away from each other. The ceiling was heigh and the walls were mostly bare.

"I have three options for you all. You will chose in the order in which you have signed."

"Yes!" Chris cheered.

"You each will do a similar but very separate experiment. You have a choice between a pear, a soda, and a hose." 

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?" Chris asked, feeling cheated. 

"You will see what they mean once you choose." 

"Fine, I'll choose the soda. Seems easy enough." 

Daren walked out of the room, returning with a large, unlabeled bottle of clear soda, and a tin. 

"Consume the contents of the tin."

Chris, determined not to appear weak, opened the tin to find dozens of tiny white candies. He smiled competitively and shoved a fistful into his mouth. 

"Now you," Daren said to Hamlet. 

Hamlet stared at Chris as he gobbled down the sweets. "The hose," he said.

"Very well." Daren went to the back wall and pressed on a seemingly random patch. It gave in to his touch and popped out, opening a hidden compartment. He reached inside and pulled, unraveling a long, black hose with a strange looking nozzle. 

"You won't be able to talk for the rest of the experiment," Daren said as he grabbed Hamlet's cheeks, forcing his jaw open. Hamlet made a startled noise but Daren shoved the hose into his mouth and down his throat before he could protest. Then, he took an attachment and used it to fasten the hose to Hamlet's face so it wouldn't move. 

Hamlet already looked like he was regretting his decision.

"And you, John?"

The small man gulped. But he didn't have to choose.

"You get the pear." Daren simply pulled the pear out of his pocket and gently handed it to John. 


"The experiment begins. Chris, drink your soda - all of it. Hamlet, you just relax as I turn on the hose. And John, please eat your pear." 

Chris immediately gulped down his drink, chugging the soda with all his might. 

John hesitant took a gentle bite out of his pear and was pleasantly surprised by the sweet taste. 

Hamlet waited, until he felt something cool rush into his stomach. 

"Mmf!" Hamlet complained, shifting uncomfortably. He felt full very quickly and looked down as his belly puffed out as if he'd eaten a whole turkey. 

"Woah!" Chris said with a burp. "Glad I didn't choose the hose, ha!" 

Hamlet glared at Chris but kept a brave face. His shirt was riding up and his pants folded over as his belly distended. His belt was cutting into his gut so he stood, the chair scraping against the floor as he did so. He hastily unbuttoned his pants and his belly rounded. 

"What are you doing to him?" John asked, staring in shock.

"Keep eating!" Daren shouted at him.

John whimpered and took another bite out of his pear.

Hamlet's thighs began to widen as his belly grew. His butt and back also slowly started to fill in as well. 

Chris was sitting back and enjoying the show, letting out the occasional burp as he sipped his soda. 

"Drink faster."

He complied. 

John began to feel sick. Nausea was settling in his stomach. "I don't want to do this anymore."


John took a big bite out of his pear to get it over with. But he was already feeling changes. His thighs were thicker than they used to be and his pants felt very snug. "Is it permanent?" He asked.

"That's what the experiment is for." 

John groaned as his butt grew bigger. His hips widened and he felt the bottom of his belly pudge out. He stood and looked worriedly down at his body.

"Ha!" Chris laughed. "You suckers. Should have signed the contract faster! This soda is a peice of cake and tastes great!" 

"That is good to hear."

"Mm hmm! And I ain't grown an inch! I'm fit as ever!" Chris stood and began to run in place to show off. 

"Why don't you do some jumping jacks?" Daren suggested. "That will really show them." 

"I don't think that's-"

Chris didn't wait to hear what John had to say. He started jumping up and down and up and down and up and down until he felt a disturbance in his belly. He stopped suddenly and held his gut in pain, then looked angrily up at Daren. 

"Oh not me too!"

"What did you expect? It's like mentos and coke, but much more potent."

"What on earth?" Chris's belly trembled before suddenly surging forward. He could feel thousands of tiny bubbles rolling around in his body. His stomach shot out in front of him, tearing through his shorts and sending his button flying. His thighs filled with bubbles too as he quickly caught up to Hamlet, who was having trouble balancing as his thighs pressed against each other and his arms got propped up by their own mass. 

John began to cry as he watched the other participants expand. He was still growing, only much slower and much more bottom heavy. His thighs were larger than Hamlet's now, but he was still easily able to stand since his hips had widened so severely. His butt was wide too, giving his whole body and extreme pear shape. 

Chris cursed off Daren as his ass billowed up behind him. He fell back onto it as his thighs pushed his legs apart and the shutter that ran through his body made him expand even quicker. He presses his hands into the sides of his huge,  shaking belly, but all he did was cause discomfort. His belly pooled onto the floor in front of him as his butt and thighs squished against the floor. 

Hamlet looked as though he were concentrating as his legs and arms began to widen so preposterously that he could not longer move them. His brow was furrowed and his eyes stared at the ceiling. His belly was round and firm, indistinguishable from his back and sides. It eventually pressed against the ground and lifted his feet up to the sides. 

John's thighs were still going, but his arms and upper torso were nearly unchanged. His stomach did swell, but not nearly as much as the others', seemingly only to accommodate his ginormous hips. He felt his thighs push against each other and sink into his knees. His halves were widening, getting stubby and making his feet appear very small. He widened his stance to stay upright.

Chris was a mess of flobby lumps. His stomach covered his legs so that only his thighs were seen, and they were nearly indistinguishable from his butt. His arms were flabby now as well, and his face had bloated around his cheeks and neck. He looked sick.

Hamlet's legs and arms were sinking into his body, feet and hands stiffening up with air until, all at once, he wasn't touching the ground anymore. Chris and John's eyes followed him as he rose up to the ceiling, stopping just short of touching it as he reached the end of the hose, now suspended upside down.

John sighed in despair as his thighs kept growing. His knees were straining under the weight so he gently lowered himself back into his chair. His butt didn't fit in it anymore and pressed over the sides, and his thighs shoved his belly up against his chest. He grabbed his thighs with his hands and whimpered. He didn't like this. 

Chris was slowing down. His arms were still mobile but very heavy. He burped pitifully and his skin rippled, a muffled fizzing sound coming from within. His back had rolls upon rolls in it, and his chest sloped into his big, sagging belly. 

Hamlet seemed to have stopped at some point. Perhaps the helium - or whatever was being pumped into him - had run out.

John was still growing, evident by the creaking of his chair before it broke beneath him. He cried out, the peices of the chair poking into him, and his giant butt and thighs growing still. He tried to get up but he was just too bottom heavy. His thighs pushed his legs apart and he just sat there as they swelled. 

"This was very entertaining." 

Chris and Hamlet groaned in annoyance and John let out a sob. 

"I will return in twenty four hours to see if effects last."

"And what if they do?" Chris demanded.

Daren shrugged as he pulled Hamlet down from the ceiling to remove his hose. "You'll get your money either way."

The hose popped out of Hamlet's mouth and slithered back into the wall. Hamlet looked Daren in the eyes and said "fuck you," as he floated back up to the ceiling with a dull thud. 

Hamlet woke up from a horrible dream, finding his stomach resting gently against the floor. He gasped and looked to the other two. He couldn't see John behind him, but Chris was sleeping in a pile of his own flesh. "Wake up! I'm deflating!"

Chris startled awake with a smirk and gave Hamlet a sour look. "So what?" 

"That's good," John said nervously.

"How are you looking back there?" Hamlet asked. 

"Mmm," John said, "not good." 

"It's okay. We will probably go back to normal in no time."

"I better!" Chris shouted. "Look at this!" He slapped his belly and it wiggled. "What am I supposed to do!?"

"It looks like the bubbles have gone down," Hamlet noted. 

"Not down enough!" 

The big double doors opened then and Daren strolled in with a smile on his face. "My! Seems you two have already begun to regress!" 

"Two?" Hamlet asked.

Chris scoffed. "Crybaby over there got bigger." 

John hummed sadly to himself. 

"Want to see?" Daren grabbed Hamlet's stubby hand and spun him around. 

There, before him, was poor John. His thighs were about three feet tall on their own, swallowing his legs and butt. His chest and arms were still the same, maybe a bit bloated. His feet stuck out at wide angles, looking puny compared to his big, obtuse legs. 

"My god."

"Impressive, isn't it? I really left prematurely yesterday. Should have stayed to watch."

"You're sick."

"I've just come to fetch Chris. I'm sure he needs the bathroom."

"Yeah and how to you expect to get me there!?"

"Oh, I don't." Daren grinned. "I've just come to hook up the catheter."


Two days passed. For how quickly the three men's bodies change, it was a very slow process to get back to normal. Chris was loosing mass the fastest. He would burp or pee or anything really, and go down in size. He was already able to leverage himself back into his chair. Only his skin was still long and flabby, shrinkage not able to keep up with how much volume was leaving him.

Hamlet was getting smaller. The air inside of him had nothing to do with his lungs or stomach so no amount of burping would have helped. The gas just had to slowly leak out on it's own. His arms and legs were back to being done shaped. He dreaded to think what may happen to his skin since he was so round. 

Luckily, John finally stopped growing, but he didn't shrink much. He was still stuck on his ass, but his thighs were looking a little more reasonable. Not much though. 

On the fifth day, Hamlet had another rude awakening. He has been getting smaller. He could move his arms and legs around slightly, but where his round body rested against the floor, his skin sagged like a flat tire. This morning he woke because he couldn't seem to breathe. He gasped for air and not enough was getting into his lungs. 

"Hamlet?" John asked, concerned. He was still sitting on the ground. It looked like maybe he could get up now, but what was the point?

Hamlet didn't know what to say, or if he even could say anything. He statyed to hyperventilate. 

"Hey, Hamlet! Hey!"

"Hey!" Chris joined in the shouting. "Hey Hamlet's dying in here!"

Daren calmly strolled into the door and tutted. "I was afraid this would happen."

Hamlet's eyes were wide and watering in panic as Daren walked past him to the wall. His vision started going dark until suddenly something was shoved into his mouth again.

No, not again. 

He inflated and suddenly he could breathe! He grasped at the house with his hands and practically gulped down the air, huffing and puffing until his breathing leveled out. 

Daren tore the hose out of his mouth then and looked disappointed. "That's as small as you'll get, then."

"What?" Hamlet gasped.

"The pressure inside your body was getting too low. Deflate you anymore and you're a goner." 


"Maybe. You'll have enough money to figure something out."

"Oi, can we leave yet, or what?" Chris shouted.

"You? Yes."

"And what about all this?" He lifted his loose skin into the air and let it flap back down. 

"Like I said. You'll have the money to deal with that. People have access skin removed all the time."

"Finally! See you suckers! Shoulda gotten the soda! I'm outta here! And I'll see you in court!" He poked Daren in the chest before wobbling out of the room in a buff. 

"Yeah but there isn't any surgery for this!" Hamlet scolded. 

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Perhaps you can find another experiment to participate in." Daren sighed wistfully. Well, I've gotten pretty much all I can out of you. You can leave whenever you're able."

"Able? How am I meant to keep inflated?"

"I don't know! Feel free to use the hose. Otherwise, you'll have to visit the party store."



. . .


John looked up at Hamlet.

"Can you try to stand?"

John just stared back at him, looking depressed. 

"Do you think we could get out of here?"

John shrugged and looked back into his expansive lap.

"Listen buddy, I know this isn't ideal, but we've got the money. I can't get out of here by myself, not like this. But it looks like you can stand!"

John shook his head. 

"You can! Listen . . . If we get outta here, you and me, we can stick together. Alright? We can go get a nice house with double doors and a big king sized bed so you'll fit, yeah?"

John looked up again. "Yeah?"

"Yeah! And I'll just bob along. We can do whatever we want!" 

"You'd want that?"

"It's not the best outcome, but it's what we've got!" 

"I don't know."

"It's the best option. We can do this, okay?"

John sighed, but allowed himself a small smile. "Okay."


John got them out. He was a little unsteady on his feet, but he was able to get the hang of his new hips. 

They actually did do as Hamlet promised. They got a nice, big secluded house with no tiny doorways. After they settled in. They looked into treatment. There weren't many options, but Hamlet was able to get a surgery to remove some of his excess skin. It wasn't enough to get him back to normal, but it did mean he needed less air to maintain the pressure within to breathe. John couldn't be helped. Whatever made his thighs and butt so large wasn't fat or air. It was firm and odd. Surgeons said it smelled sweet when they tried to operate on him, and was too fragile to reconstruct.

So, they stayed in their big, happy home, eventually forgetting about their odd bodies. Hamlet would usually just fill up with compressed air but would switch to pure helium on occasion for party tricks. John would carry him around on a length of ribbon and their guests would take pictures. They even ended up on the cover of a few magazines. 


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