Balloon Assassin

Cassandra looked at her employer’s lush curves, kept a wave of carnal lust to herself.

“Remember, no survivors.”

“No problem. Cash in my account?”

“It’s being wired in as we speak. Matter of fact, it should be there right about now.”

“Time I was going, then,” Cassie said. On an impulse, she leaned forward and kissed the woman full on the lips. As she drew back, both women were smiling.

“If you have any more contracts, keep me in mind. Oh, and keep your eyes open during the Fourth of July.”

Milo, Hal and Craig, lawyers all and all in desperate need of a dietician, were packing food into their bellies as fast as they could, laughing over the departure of the woman who owned this house just three days ago. It had been a simple matter of adjusting the property laws to have her evicted for them to move in, an even simpler matter to have the law cause her to leave all her valuables in the house.

“Urp. More beer, Milo?”

“Sure.”

Cassie showed up in her black skintight rubber cat suit. It more than amply displayed her 42-28-38 curves. She waited for the servants to bring back the empty plates and stopped them in the kitchen. Handing each of them a twenty, she took up new food trays and carafes of wine.

“Allow me,” she said, and, hips swaying, sauntered out into the hall.

The three men were stunned at first. A gorgeous blonde had shown up to feed, them, and, if appearances and carriage did not deceive them (they did), service them in other areas as well. The first man ran an admiring hand over her ass, while the others made comments about her boobs and ran their hands over them.

“More wine, sirs?”

“God yes! More wine indeed,” said the fattest as he took a carafe of wine and upended down his throat. The others quickly followed suit, and in less then five minutes two entire gallons of wine disappeared.

“Hey girly, how do you manage to look some damn fine,” asked, Milo, the oldest and fattest merchant there. Cassie smiled. She knew what was going to happen.

“Simple. I take these diet pills that make the fat disappear.”

“Except in all the right places,” Hal noted.

“Would this body lie? I have some with me. Want to try some?”

“Huh. Ask a stupid question, girl--hand’em over.”

Cassie wondered to herself if all her contracts were going to be this easy. In no time flat, three or four pills disappeared down the gullets of these men.

“How long does it take for these pills to work?” asked Milo. Cassie answered, “Not long, lord,” and paused. “Not long at all.”

Five, four, three, two, one, she counted down to herself.

Suddenly a loud belch rang out from Milo. “Something seems to disagree with me; perhaps I ate too much fruit.” Similar sounds came from the other two, and then obnoxious sounds of farting. They laughed for a few more seconds when suddenly Milo (who took the most pills) stopped laughing.

“Listen, do you hear something?” They did. From each of their bellies came a loud hissing sound. They all looked down at themselves in unison.

Their bellies were expanding! Their guts pushed and pushed at fine silk shirts until they ripped away with loud tearing sounds.

“BITCH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US?” they yelled in unison.

“Why, what you wanted. The pills are making your fat go away. I just didn’t mention that every pound of fat gets converted into a pound of methane.”

“Huh?”

“Methane is a highly explosive light-than-air gas. Did you guys ever light farts before?” she sweetly asked. “You see, I used to—until I graduated to something better.” She thought. “The former lady of the house sends her regards and hopes you’re enjoying her hospitality.”

The bellies were quite well l inflated now, and Cassie not wanting to let the entertainment go to waste, produced a syringe. The men’s bodies, arms and legs were swollen to the point of being useless, so she injected each of them at their (as yet) uninflated hands.

“This will keep your bodies from bursting under the strain of the gas.” She smiled sweetly as the men breathed a sigh of relief in unison.

“What it DOESN’T do is keep you from exploding.”

“There’s a difference?” one asked.

“Yes. You see, as pressure rises, internal body temperature also goes up. I imagine you are all getting quite hot by now, and methane has quite a nice flashpoint. So, since the former lady of the house specifically told me not to damage it…” She rolled them out of the room. “…into the solarium with you.”

Once in there, she opened the skylight and waited. Over the city, fireworks just opened up.

“Hear that, boys? Looks like you will be joining them real soon. Hope you enjoy the show—I certainly will,” she said.

Milo, who had taken the most pills, suddenly expanded with a loud hissing sound. He rose into the air quiet suddenly and disappeared through the skylight. “Last one to the stratosphere is a rotten egg,” Cassie yelled.

With loud pops, the buttons on his long johns came off, his clothes burst at the seams, and soon his naked body was exposed, with bright terrible red stretch marks everywhere. Three hundred feet later, his body suddenly turned pink, then rose, then red, then a very dark red…

A blinding flash of light and a thunderous boom shook the air. Cassie was frantically fingering herself as she looked at Hal. If only I could at least stroke my own belly, he thought…Cassie heard his moans, read his mind, and stroked his belly clockwise in a decreasing spiral. Hal thrust his belly towards her as she took him in both hands, when Hal took to the air.

“You know, maybe you should see a doctor about that,” she said as he disappeared. She counted…

Fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven…

BOOOOOMMM!

She looked at Craig, his body swelling but not yet rising, stretch marks everywhere.

“Feels good, doesn’t it, even though you know that you’re going to die,” she cooed. “Your body feels so tight and good like the middle and aftermath of an orgasm. Well, just to show that I’m not a complete bitch…” She started to run her hands over his belly and licked him all over as she reveled in his great warmth as he moaned in ecstasy.

“See, it’s not so bad—oh! Looks like it’s time for you to go,” she said as a final sudden swelling sound came from him. “I hope you enjoyed out time together.” She stopped as he too rose and disappeared through the skylight.

Craig reveled in the taut feel of his body as floated up. He loved the way he kept feeling hotter and hotter, tried to ignore the stretching rubber sounds coming from his body, when he noticed that the winds were carrying him towards the fireworks mortars…

“Whump!” said a mortar…

“Whoosh!” said the rocket as it sped into the air towards Craig’s belly…

“KA-WHAMMMM!” said Craig’s body as it detonated.

“YES! YES! YES!” cried Cassandra as his light filled up the sky while her fingers brought her off…

…and across the street, in another building, a woman silently toasted the demise of her enemies…and got ready for a red-hot date with an assassin.