*REMOVE OR LET ME EDIT IF NOT ALLOWED*
I've only finally started accepting this fetish a few years ago after some *trauma*, as it helped me cope with TW: years of coercion. When I want to make myself feel good, it was difficult avoiding flashes of negative memories, or putting myself back in those situations. I'd have to open my eyes and look around my room and ground myself and remind myself I was safe and not there anymore. Finally, as a way to cope, I started replacing those memories with far more distracting mental images instead. Why think about the horrible things that happened, when I can think about a girl growing unfathomably huge? I've always felt funny witnessing inflation in the media I watched as a child, and finally got curious about it and even found this website and read a few of the stories posted here. While I hate popping, have to tolerate the interesting ways men write about women, and still barely consume visual media or audios, the stories help me come up with my own. It's allowed me to create a safe space in my mind I can go to, where I'm completely in control. Where bullies can taste revenge, where couples can playfully dare each other, and wishes can go wrong. It's been really fun and I switch between my favorites, and maybe I'll write a few of my own stories here someday. Most importantly, it's given me a safe space where I cannot be harmed. Logically, body inflation is simply impossible. NO ONE can coerce or force someone to grow larger than a house no matter how much they could beg, or guilt, or try. You could probably have health complications from air or water, but whatever lol. Now, I always figured if I needed so much control, I'd be the inflator, because I've loved pleasing people and granting their desires in the past so much. I didn't realize this til much later, but my ex boyfriend got upset at me because I kept rubbing his tummy and admiring it when he got a lil chubby, and I loved how it looked, but didn't know why. He didn't, he was embarrassed and self conscious. Though I never commented on his body of course. Just would give him tummy rubs when we'd cuddle. Oops XD. When I go to my safe space, I imagine blowing someone up and rubbing their tummy and admiring how big they've gotten, and teasing them.
When I'd think if I'd ever want blown up, I was scared of losing that kind of control. However, recently I keep dreaming about it and it sticks with me. One dream, I got blown up not round but squishy and soft, and a man and woman used ME as their bed, and mattress basically, and I couldn't move and just had to let them use me for comfort. They just slept on me and snuggled. I was like, "huh. Okay." And last night, I had a dream that was normal, until I was showing my family new special work pants I got for some important mission I was on, and showed them they're features, and how the pants could inflate. They kept inflating and I didn't know how to make them stop, and then I guess I was actually wearing a suit, cause other parts of me expanded too. I wasn't distressed at all, I just was laughing. I've been thinking about it all day. I've honestly NEVER seen real people performing emulations of it before, in suits or anything, because I don't ever watch porn to begin with. I only read stories or use my own imagination. But it got me thinking about how amazing it would be to just go into something like that completely open minded without any expectations. To be put in someone's suit and blown up by them. Or to wear a shirt over the suit and watch the buttons fly! To try to walk around their house and function until I couldn't anymore, they'd tilt me over, watch me fail to get back up, and be admired by them. (I don't know anything about real suits at all, so pardon me.) And to do the same thing for them too. To give them games to fail and blow them up and maybe even use them as my mattress too! Then I tried looking for posts of people in my area asking for IRL meetups too, and no luck. I don't think I can safely make my own post and be like "HEY I'M A GIRL I LIVE IN THIS AREA LET'S DO WEIRD STUFF AND HANG OUT! Cause like, I'd get murdered or something. AND I've found TONS of posts here about how uncommon and rare this fetish even is. Yikes. XD I also live in a low populated state which is fun. I do want to try commonly requested social sites. If I did ever go to conventions, as if theyd ever have one in my state, I'd definitely wear a mask or hide my face, but itd be so overwhelming. I don't care for long term relationships with understanding, people here say its bad to establish relationships based on fetishes alone, so it would just be nice to experience with someone else at least once. Especially someone who also has the fetish, who knows exactly how it feels, the beauty of it, and isn't just a normie "doing something they don't understand to make me happy". I'm actually in the process of going through all my journals and cutting/ripping out any mention of the fetish, cause when I die I don't want anyone to learn of it at all. It's so private to me, it's the only secret I have that absolutely no one else knows. Not my mom, not my bestest friend, no one. Forgive my naivety. XD How do others today feel? Some of these kinds of vent posts on here are from like 2007... Who's here in 2026? Lmao
Hey I'm here if you don't mind I'm gonna shoot you a dm