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This just in, a new disease is sweeping the world, more details at eleven.

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“Now for our top story. Reports have been poring into hospitals around the world about a strange new affliction affecting females. It has been labeled as “Violet’s Disease’ by the CDC, and has no known cause. It seems to strike without warning, and runs it’s course in mere minutes. The method of infection is unknown as well, as one girl could have the symptoms, but people standing next to her will be unaffected. There are a series of symptoms that do effect all females who have been affected, and the end result is always the same. We now go to Tanya, live from the quarantine zone, the City Stadium.”

“Thank you Maya. I’m here with Sarah, who was effected a few days ago. As you can see, her size is remarkable. According to measurements, her body is almost 25 feet around. She is not able to talk, as she is a bit distracted by some of the side effects, but she is in no pain, and when I interviewed her earlier today she said, ‘It feels better than almost anything I’ve ever felt.’ Sarah was lucky enough to be inside when she was began to show symptoms, so she did not float away like many other girls. Back to you Maya.”

“Thank you Tayna. And to reiterate, while the response teams have managed to recover all the unlucky girls who have floated into the air, if you begin to show signs of Violet’s Disease, get inside as soon as you can, and if no buildings are nearby, try to attach yourself to a stationary object. Remember to watch for WASPS. That’s Warmth, Arousal…*cough*…Excuse me…Um…Arousal, Shortness of Breath, Pressure, and finally…Oh my…Swelling.”

“Pressure is starting to build up in my midsection…It feels warm, like I had a lot of hot tea. I feel a little drunk, to be honest. Hehee…My clothes are getting tight too. Ohh, I feel bouncy…Like I’m a balloon or something. Shirt is getting really tight…whoops! Looks like that blouse isn’t as strong as I thought! Mmmm…No wonder those girls were always in such a good mood. My skirt is getting tighter too, ohh…Anywhere I touch, it feels amazing. It’s spreading through my whole body now, it’s better than anything I’ve ever felt in my life!”

“It’s getting very difficult to move my arms and legs now, I can see my body swelling around me…It feels really good! Anne, you’ve gotta try this, I mean, wow! Oh my! We have liftoff! In more ways than one, believe me…This feels so strange, but so good, just floating up, getting bigger…Mm…Can’t move my arms now…looks like my hands are just what’s left. I guess this is gonna be my last broadcast for a while, until next time, goodnight everyone! Ohh, bounce me against the ceiling again! Wow…”

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