Balloon Chute

I had gotten a job working in the archives of Goodyear. Not too many people know this but Goodyear is all the time trying to come up with new ways of using rubber. I, unfortunately, ended up on the graveyard shift, which meant I ended up spending a lot time in stacks and stacks of reports, and what not from old experiments.

I went rummaging through them. There was this blueprint for an inflatable airplane. Then there was this pregnancy test, don't know how that would work. I also found a “DIY Blimp.” Thought that was curious. Took it to the copier and made a copy for myself. Right underneath it was something called the balloon chute. I read it over and it sounded interesting. The idea was simple enough, to use a balloon to slow your fall from an airplane. So I made a copy of that one too.

I have this girlfriend, Bridget. She is really cute and quite active. More active than me. She likes rock climbing and skydiving and anything “adventurous.” She wanted to go skydiving again. I wasn't really thrilled. I'm not afraid of it, I just don't see the point of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane while it's in the air, that's all. Still, it makes her happy and I'm sure you guys all know, it's all about making her happy. So we were supposed to go this weekend. It's only Monday, so I have time to look into this balloon chute thing and see what can be done with it.

The first part of the notes on what they did, how they did it, it seems they pretty much perfected it, or at least they think they did, but they couldn't get volunteers to try it. Don't know why, there's always someone crazy enough to try something new. Still involved mixing together some sort of pill and then the rest was straight forward, helium tank, and balloon. Well not exactly balloon.

So I get the ingredients and mix it together like it says. I get a small, really small helium tank, looks like a coffee thermos almost, and a great big jump suit. So I tell Bridget I got something new for her to try and she's all set to try it, of course.

We're at the airport and I hand her the big jump suit and tell her that's what she'll need to wear for this. Then I get her a pill and tell her to take it now so that she'll be ready when we're over the jump site. “Are you sure this is safe, you're not trying to kill me or something are you?” She asks. I smile, “Of course not. I know how you like to try new things. I found this at my job, thought it would be cool. C'mon, give it a try, you know you want to!”

She goes in the hanger and puts on the suit. The helium tank is rigged to be strapped to her back instead of the parachute. She comes back out with the suit on, big flaps of nylon flutters as she walks. She has this annoyed look on her face, “I wanted to sky dive not dress up like a clown.” she said.

I smiled, “remember balloon parachute. It's that big to accommodate the balloon. Trust me, it'll work.” She felt around the jump suit, “I don't feel any balloon in here, how's this going to work?” she asked. “Oh, don't worry the balloon is in there, trust me.” I said as we got on the plane.

We take off and in no time we're over the jump site. The rear of the plane opens up as we prepare to jump. I wore a regular jump suit and parachute. I wasn't sure how this was going to end up and I wanted to see what happened to her. She hollers in my ear, where does the hose for the tank go?” I grin, and unzip her suit. I thread the hose through a small hole in the back of the suit that was made for it, then I reach inside her suit and up with the hose and slide it in between her butt cheeks. She jumps back and lets out a holler. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” she screams. I zip her back up, turn her toward the open door. As I push her out the plane, I turn the valve of the helium tank and I yell in her ear. “I forgot to tell you, you're the balloon.”

As she falls away from the plane I can already see her expanding and filling out the jump suit. I go ahead and jump and free fall right past her. As I pass her I can see she's getting round like a big weather balloon or something. I turn around and watch her. She is already falling much slower than I am. Just before I have to pull my rip cord I see that she has gotten completely round. The once huge jump suit is now tight on her ballooned form.

I land and quickly get out of my parachute. I turn around and look for her in the sky. I finally find her, she's still maybe a thousand feet off the ground. Slowly, gently floating toward the ground. When she gets close to the ground I run toward her to try and catch her. I run up to her and try to catch her as she nears the ground. I don't get to her in time and she hits the ground and bounces over my head maybe a hundred feet in the air. When she gets close to the ground again, I manage to stay with her and grab her foot. One of the few things that didn't inflate. She hits the ground again but because I have a hold of her she only bounces just a few feet. I manage to bring her to a stop.

I spin her around so I can see her face. I ask, “You OK?” She giggles and moans all at the same time, “Now I know how Pathfinder felt when it made it to Mars! So how do I deflate?” I wince, “Yeah about that, I found out why they never tried to market this. It seems it takes it 24 hours to wear off.”

“Great, just when I was beginning to think this ain't so bad. You mean I'm going to be like this for a whole day?” She hollers. I wince again, “Well, yeah. It ain't so bad. I rented a pickup truck to take you home in. I even got a tarp so no one will know it's you. At your place you got those big double doors everywhere, you'll fit in there nicely. It'll be fun. You know how I loved it when you wore that big baggy pajamas and blew up that beachball inside it. This'll be like that!”

She grumbled something, but I wanted to get her to the truck and get going before we drew a crowd and made it any worse. I get her home and roll her into her living room. I roll her over till she's up on her feet. Sort of anyway, she's so round that I guess what would be either her genitals or maybe her belly is touching the floor more than her feet are. If she points her toes she can make herself stay in position.

She growls, “So what now?” I undo the straps for the helium tank. I pull the hose off the end of the tank hoping that would give the helium a pathway to leave, but nothing happened. So then I unzip her jump suit. It was tight on her and once I got it all way down, her pink skin spread the suit apart. It was a bit difficult to get it completely off her but I managed. As I was pulling and pushing around her, she started moaning. I looked up at her, “Am I hurting you? I'm sorry.” She smiled, “No not hurting, not in the least. My skin has come alive. Your slightest touch just sends shockwaves through me. Don't stop.” She sighs.

Once I got the suit off of her, I started fondling her all over. It wasn't long till we did it. Strange as it may seem we're still together. Although she did insist that she be allowed to blow me up, but that's another story.