Fitter or Fatter?

"Hey there, stranger." Natasha said, as I walked in. "How goes the fitness regime?"

"Boring as hell." I replied. "If she's not making me eat rabbit food, she's dragging me out of bed at 5am to go for a run."

"Why are you with her again?"

I didn't answer.

Kirsty was a great girl, I guess. I mean, she was attractive and energetic and in great shape. However, she made it clear that I wasn't and ever since we started dating she was determined to get me off the junk food and into a healthy lifestyle. Burgers, pizza, ice cream, it all had to go. What did I get instead? Salad, maybe fruit as a "treat". I don't know what she saw in me but now I was trapped and I know I could break up with her but, at the end of the day, she was kinda hot and attracted to me for some reason. Well, I say attracted but clearly she had a problem with my appearance because she's been trying to whip me into shape from day one. Why don't I break up with her? Well, the truth is, she's scary and she has a crossbow. Who the hell threatens their boyfriend with a crossbow?

But then I met Natasha. Natasha had me figured out the moment I bumped into her at the supermarket. We both grabbed the same box of doughnuts on the shelf and when she looked me up and down, she knew what I was all about. She took her hand off the box.

"You take them. You need them more." she said.

"I do?"

"You're thin, but not super-skinny. Don't take this the wrong way but you have the tiniest hint of a tummy and you're clearly not trying to lose it. Let me guess, someone doesn't want you to eat this stuff so you're sneaking in here to eat it on the sly. Am I close?"

"That's pretty much it." I said.

"I've seen this before, it's a girl isn't it?"

I nodded.

"I thought so. She's making you exercise and eat rabbit food so you can be all skinny and perfect like her, but what you really want is to eat and stuff yourself and get a belly like mine, am I right?"

Natasha was not a skinny girl, in fact she was filled out very nicely, and her belly was one that I envied. Big, round and barely covered by her red top.

"That's right." I said.

"Alright, I think I can help you out." she said, opening the box. She took out a doughnut and held it up to my mouth. "Eat up."

"I need to pay for it." I said nervously.

"I work here, it's on me." she said, shoving the doughnut into my mouth. Oh lordy, it was good. She proceeded to feed me the rest of the box and when I finished the twentieth one, I could see a difference already. I now had a small but noticeably round tummy poking out and it felt great.

"There, feel a little better?"

I nodded.

"What do I tell Kirsty?"

"You've been drinking a lot of water during your run. You're just a little bloated, right?"

"Right!"

"Now, anytime you need to get away and stuff yourself, you know where to find me. So when will I see you again?"

She saw me again the next day and the day after that. Any time I managed to sneak out alone I came straight here and Natasha would take me out the back and give me all the junk food I could want. Of course, Kirsty would always see the results and crack down on my inexplicable weightgain. Needless to say, whatever weight I put on, it didn't last long. But Natasha was always there to fatten me up again. She kept joking that we should just drop everything and eat until we explode together. I said Kirsty would still find a way to make me exercise afterwards.

However, I couldn't get away with it forever and one day Kirsty's suspicions got the better of her. She'd been asking questions and had long since stopped believing my excuses. How could I possibly still not be skinny and perfect? So she sent me out to the gym and said she'd catch up later to check up on me. That suited me just fine, I could drop in on Natasha along the way for a quick energy boost. What I didn't realise was that Kirsty would be following me the whole time.

"Hey there, Stranger." Natasha said, as I walked in. "How goes the fitness regime?"

"Boring as hell." I replied. "If she's not making me eat rabbit food, she's dragging me out of bed at 5am to go for a run."

"Why are you with her again?"

"I don't even know anymore."

"Well, I haven't seen you in a few days, we've got a lot of catching up to do!"

"I can't stay long, she's meeting me at the gym."

Natasha rolled her eyes and smiled knowingly.

"Alright, well let's give you something to burn off. Look at that stomach, all my good work undone again!"

"It's been a long few days."

"Come on, I've got just the thing for you."

She took me by the hand and led me through the double doors to the warehouse. She wasn't lying. In front of me was a table piled high with pies, cakes and other pastries, including my favourite, doughnuts.

"I hope you're hungry."

"Oh, I am."

"Good, me too. So here's what's going to happen. You're going to eat. A lot. And you're not stopping until you're as fat as me."

"Sounds good to me."

"Good! Start eating..." she said, moving opposite me. "... and when your tummy touches mine, you can stop."

"Flawless plan."

"I thought so! Now eat."

I didn't waste any time. I grabbed everything I could and started shoving it in while Natasha looked on approvingly. Before long my stomach slowly began to round out as I stuffed it. Of course, I was feeling full but I liked that feeling and didn't stop.

"Looks like someone's getting a little bloated from all their healthy water." Natasha said, smirking.

I kept on eating as my tummy got noticeably rounder and I could feel my t-shirt getting tighter around it. As more cake went in, my t-shirt slowly started to slide up and I was now feeling incredibly stuffed.

"Come on, we're nearly there." she said. She picked up the biggest doughnut on the table, reached over and fed it to be. It was just enough and after the last bite I felt my stomach gently push against hers.

"Finally, I've met my match." she said, as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. I didn't stop her.

"I knew it!" Kirsty yelled furiously, as she stepped out from behind some crates, holding a crossbow.

"Kirsty! How long have you been there?" I asked. "I mean, it's exactly what it looks like but how much did you see?"

"Everything." she said, striding up to us. "I knew you were up to something so I followed you and now it all becomes clear. You don't care about being fit and perfect at all!"

"I kinda tell you that, like, every day."

"I don't care that you kissed her. I know we're not exclusive and I've hardly been faithful."

"Is that a crossbow?" Natasha asked.

"DON'TCHANGETHESUBJECT!" she screamed, making us both jump. She cleared her throat. "But stuffing yourself behind my back? Unforgivable!"

"I think your priorities are a little mixed up." Natasha said.

"Careful, Natasha. She's pretty tough when she's angry, which is all the time. I once saw her get hit by a car when she was jogging, really dented it."

"Well, you've caught us." Natasha said. "So what are you going to do about it, shoot us?"

A sly grin spread across Kirsty's face.

"I'm going to give you a choice." she said. "Either the two of you can start running right now and not stop until you've lost all that weight..."

"Sounds like a lot of work..." Natasha said.

"...or you can keep eating until you explode."

Natasha's eyes lit up and she smiled at me.

"So, what's it going to be?" Kirsty asked. "Fitter or fatter?"

"Fatter!" Natasha squealed.

"Really?" I said. "You actually want to explode?"

She nodded.

"It's totally worth it. It'll be fun! Tell me you don't want this."

I said nothing. Natasha kissed me. Kirsty rolled her eyes impatiently.

"Well?" she said.

"Fatter." we both said, nodding.

"Alright." she said, raising her crossbow. "Start eating."

"I can't believe you carry a crossbow." Natasha murmured as we both turned back to the table.

"Hey, it got him running in the mornings." Kirsty shrugged.

"Your girlfriend's a psycho."

"I know, I know."

We kissed again and got to work on the remaining food, stuffing ourselves relentlessly. Kirsty watched as our bellies gradually grew rounder and rounder. We were like two beachballs inflating but we were enjoying it all so much, it hardly seemed to matter. Natasha rubbed her belly.

"I'm so full, I love it! she said.

"You look great." I said.

"So do you! Come on, let's see how big we can get."

We carried on eating, although as we got bigger it became increasingly hard to reach the food. It wasn't long before we were so huge, all we could do was sit there helplessly, as big and round as weather balloons, as we struggled to grab the final two doughnuts on the table.

Kirsty put down her crossbow and sidled over.

"You can't even do this right..." she said impatiently. She picked up the doughnuts and shoved one each into our mouths. We swallowed them without protest and seconds later a deep groaning could be heard from our bellies.

"Sounds like someone's a little too full." Kirsty smirked.

Sure enough we started to expand with a loud stretching noise.

"Better take cover, honey, we're gonna blow." Natasha said, satisfied.

Kirsty patted my stomach.

"Hope it was worth it." she said smugly, before heading to the double doors.

"Totally." I said.

We continued to swell up and our cheeks bloated as the pressure built up. Kirsty pushed the double doors but they didn't move. She put her shoulder into it but they wouldn't budge. She turned back to look at us, straining as we were reaching our limits. Natasha pointed towards some keys hung up on the wall behind her, well out of reach, and winked at Kirsty.

Me and Natasha leaned forwards, just managing one last kiss before the inevitable. She gave Kirsty the finger. We had won, we had each other and we got to live out our bizarre fantasy to explode together. I gave Kirsty the finger too.

Kirsty's eyes grew wide as she realised she was trapped.

"Oh, cra-"

KABOOM